Welcome to our Seder

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As we welcome our guests to our Seder table, there are several things we want to let them know: why we do this Seder, what we hope our guests get of it and how we’d like them to participate, and how important who we invite is to Sandy, Deborah and I. The Torah tells us to “not forget the stranger for you were once strangers in the land of Egypt”. We have always used that lesson to invite people to our Seder who may be unfamiliar with Passover. We have always felt this diversity around our table to be a blessing and a strength. However, this tradition did not start with Sandy, Deborah and I; my mother tells me that this was a common practice at Seders led by my dad when I was growing up. She also recalled that Dad would often race through parts of the Seder or cut corners; one of frequent guests, our cousin Syd Chassy was a "kibitzer". He would often comment on the length of the Seder and wonder aloud when dinner would be served! While we don't have such a kibitzer at our Seders, we do find that we shorten some parts of the Seder, particularly after the festive meal, as you'll see.

As an example of what you might hear, here is the introduction we gave to our guests at our Seder in 2009 (and please excuse the political reference; it was the first Seder after an historic presidential election and I was caught up in the moment!):

Welcome everyone – for some, it’s the first time, others have been with us before, but we welcome you to our Passover Seder. Why is it important for us to gather together to celebrate Passover? Why do Sandy, Deborah and I go through all this effort? Cleaning house thoroughly…bringing out a special set of pots, pans, dishes and utensils that we only use during this holiday…making a lot of special foods…what is the point? Well, at Passover, we not only look back, we look forward! Passover is a time to break out of those shackles that surround us, of correcting what is wrong with our lives. You’ll hear the word “Mitzrayim” quite a few times tonight. That is the Hebrew word for Egypt, but “Mitzrayim” is very similar to the Hebrew word “metzarim”, which means limitations. You should use the week of Passover to think about your lives – to try to throw off the bonds that you may not have realized you had. This is especially important this Passover, coming off a year in which things were pretty awful! We all know people who lost their jobs, or their homes. Many who still have their jobs have seen their retirements put in jeopardy. But as I hope you’ll see, the message of Passover is that…these things have happened before, many times – and we always found a way out. There are always ways to improve our situation. There is always hope. As someone said many times last year – “Yes, we can!”

So, we invite you to be full and equal participants in tonight’s Seder. We invite you to ask questions, to share any personal reflections, to challenge what you hear, to tell good stories, and to ask questions. Yes, I emphasize questions because, as you’ll hear many times, questioning is very important – and good questions will be rewarded!

Before we begin, please take a moment to continue a tradition we’ve had for about the last four years – please sign and date the inside front cover of your Haggadah, so we’ll have a record of who used it and when.

The word “Seder” means order. There is a specific order that we will follow tonight. Deborah will now teach us that order, in song! Don’t worry yet if you don’t know what the steps and the movements that go with them mean – all will become clear as the evening goes on!

A few things to mention before we go on:

The "rewarding" of good questions at our Seder involves hard candy. We have done this a couple of ways. One year, we put a few pieces at everyone's place, and urged each participant to toss a piece to anyone who asked a question. This resulted in candies flying all over the table, occasionally landing on the floor to the amusement of our yellow lab. Now, Deborah and I have become the keeper of the candies and do the tossing.

This tradition of taking a moment to sign and date the Haggadah began at our Seders in 2006. It’s such a small thing, but it’s become SO meaningful! Everyone gets a kick of looking at who has used their Haggadah in past years, before adding their name to the chain!

The song and accompanying motions that Deborah shows us at the beginning of the Seder came to us from Rabbi Rachel Nussbaum, who taught it to Deborah when she was interviewing for Beth David’s Assistant Rabbi position in 2004. No, she didn't get the job, but her presence lives on for us through this song!

The reflections and other text you will see below are ones we really like, that we have used many times over the years. That does not mean that these are cast in stone, that we use the same ones every year! One of our Passover preparation rituals is to always research, to keep looking for new insights, new ways to explain the symbols and the actions of the Seder, integrating what is going on in the world into the Seder to always keep it fresh, lively and new. This is time well spent for us!

One final note about sources. Unless otherwise noted, the readings you will see come from "On Wings of Freedom - The Hillel Haggadah for the Nights of Passover" (referred to from now on as OWOF). This has been our Haggadah of choice for many years.

haggadah Section: Introduction

Source: Original