Passover Song Parodies
Eser Makkot (The Ten Plagues)
(Sung to the tune of “Michelle”)
(by Gary Teblum)
Es-ser Makkot
these are plagues of which we must take note
Eser Makkot
Es-ser Makkot
Blood and frogs and lice and cattle disease
Cattle disease
Please free them, please free them, please free them
that's what God tried to say
But Pharoah wouldn’t sway
It was not until that tenth plague came that he’d
understand
Es-ser Makkot
Locusts, hail and darkness o’er the land
Over the land
God needs to, God needs to, God needs to
God needs to make Pharoah see
Oh, what might come to be
Until we jews give him the blues, Pharoah, he’ll be mean
We hate you
Please free them, please free them, please them
You should know by now
You’ll let them go some how
Until you do new plagues will brew so you’ll understand
Es-ser Makkot
Blood and frogs and lice and first borns did die
First borns did die
And you will say the only words we want for you to
understand
Go from my land.
Yesterday
(Sung to the tune of “Yesterday”)
(by Gary Teblum)
Yesterday
We were slaves in Egypt yesterday
Now be thankful that we’re free today
We must remember yesterday
Slavery
Pharoah kept us all in slavery
We were working hard as hard can be
Oh yesterday saw slavery
Why we couldn’t go, I don’t know
He made us stay
Then God set us free
Now we teach ‘bout yesterday
Yesterday
We were brought forth so that we could pray
Now I need to teach the kids to say
We must remember yesterday
Why we couldn’t go, I don’t know
He made us stay
Then God set us free
Now we teach ‘bout yesterday
Yesterday
We were brought forth so that we could pray
At the seder, teach the kids to say
Why we remember yesterday
Hardened Heart
(Sung to the tune of “A Hard Day’s Night”)
(by Gary Teblum)
He had a hardened heart
And he would not let us go
He had a hardened heart
And here’s what you should know
Each time a plague did them in
Moshe thought he would win
But Pharoah’s mind stood tight
You they know slaved all day
Building the pyramids was their thing
And they waited for Moshe to say
I’ve heard from Pharoah as the king
Though every day they may moan
Soon they can put down that stone
And they will feel okay
To our home, that’s where we’re headed tonight
A new home, get there and we’ll be alright
Yeh
He had a hardened heart
And he would not let us go
He had a hardened heart
And here’s what you should know
Each time a plague did them in
Moshe thought he would win
But Pharoah’s mind stood tight
Though every day they may moan
Soon they can put down that stone
And they will feel okay
To our home, that’s where we’re headed tonight
A new home, get there and we’ll be alright
Yeh
He Freed Us
(Sung to the tune of “She Loves You”)
(by Gary Teblum)
He freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
He freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
He freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
You think you’re not so free
Well, it was so yesterday-yi-yay
It’s just like you were there
And he told us what to say-yi-yay
You know he freed us,
and you know that can’t be bad
Oh yes, he freed us,
and you know we should be glad
God said you must act so
As if you were there too
And then God says you’ll know
How we maintain the glue
You know he freed us,
and you know that can’t be bad
Oh yes, he freed us,
and you know we should be glad
Oh, he freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
He freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
With a God like that
You know we should be glad
You know he freed the Jews
He brought us from that land
As if you were there too
Grab on to his hand
You know he freed us,
and you know that can’t be bad
Oh yes, he freed us,
and you know we should be glad
Oo, he freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
He freed us, yeah, yeah, yeah
And with a god like that
You know we should . . . be glad
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeahhhhh.
All My Leaven
(Sung to the tune of “All My Lovin”)
(by Gary Teblum)
Search my house and I’ll find it
Tomorrow I’ll miss it
The feather will help me be true
And a candle as well
Means that then I can sell
And I’ll sell all my leaven to you
I’ll find crumbs in the kitchen
The kinder will pitch in
I’ll try not to leave any clue
And then while its away
I’ll eat matzah each day
‘cause I sold all my leaven to you
All my leaven, I will sell to you
All my leaven, Rabbi, I’ll be true
I’ll find crumbs in the kitchen
The kinder will pitch in
I’ll try not to leave any clue
And then while its away
I’ll eat matzah each day
‘cause I sold all my leaven to you
All my leaven, I will sell to you
All my leaven, Rabbi, I’ll be true
All my leaven, All my leaven
Woo, all my leaven, I will sell to you
THE ORDER OF THE SEDER
(Sung to the tune of "It's A Small World")
(by Gary Teblum)
We wash our hands
And we bless the wine
Greens put in salt water
Dippings so fine
There's so much that we see
Celebrating we're free
It's our Pass-Over seder.
(chorus)
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Passover seder.
We break the matzah
Four questions are asked
We tell the story
About our past
The motzi we say
Because that is the way
Of our Pass-Over seder.
(chorus)
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Pass-Over seder
It's our Passover seder.
I WILLNOT LET THEM GO
(Sung to the tune of "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho")
(by Gary Teblum)
Oh no, Oh no
I will not let them go
I will not let the Jews go free
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no.
Oh No, Oh no.
I will not let them go
Your people will not leave this land
Oh no, Oh no.
Our Passover Things
(Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music)
Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that stings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Matzah and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings
These are a few of our Passover things.
Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs
Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows
Matzah balls floating and eggshell that clings
These are a few of our Passover things.
When the plagues strike
When the lice bite
When we're feeling sad
We simply remember our Passover things
And then we don't feel so bad.
There's No Seder Like our Seder
(Sung to the tune of "There's no Business like Show Business")
There's no seder like our seder,
There's no seder I know.
Everything about it is halachic
Nothing that the Torah won't allow.
Listen how we read the whole Haggadah
It's all in Hebrew
'Cause we know how.
There's no Seder like our seder,
We tell a tale that is swell:
Moses took the people out into the heat
They baked the matzoh
While on their feet
Now isn't that a story
That just can't be beat?
Let's go on with the show!
Take Us Out of Egypt
(Sung to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game")
Take us out of Egypt
Free us from slavery
Bake us some matzoh in a haste
Don't worry 'bout flavor--
Give no thought to taste.
Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea
If we don't cross it's a shame
For it's ten plagues,
Down and you're out
At the pesach history game.
Afikomen
(Sung to the tune of "Oklahoma")
Aaaaa.......fikomen! what a very special Pesach treat.
A dessert we share, we can't compare, So much joy from just a hunk of wheat!
Thaaaaaaa........t is why we hide it early on from everyone A custom that we get, from
Kosher chefs, to convince us eating Matzah's fun. On a shelf or hidden away Floor or
sofa, 'neath Uncle Sid's toupee. It's too much work, to search for your dessert Yes, I'm
looking for Afikomen Afikomen, oy, vey, gevalt.....let's check the couch!!AFIKOMEN!!!
The Ballad of Mo Amramson
(Sung to the tune of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett")
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Mo,
His people they were slaves to the evil Pharoah,
Until one day he was lookin' at a bush,
And he heard the voice of G-d, though he wasn't a lush---
The LORD, that is,
I AM,
The Big G.
Next thing you know, Mo's talkin' to Pharoah,
Mo says, "G-d said you gotta let my people go!"
But the king says, "No, they always will be slaves to me!"
So G-d sent down ten big plagues on Pharoah's whole country---
Blood 'n frogs, that is,
Pestilence,
Special effects.
When the first borns died, Pharoah sent the Jews away,
They ran and ate some matza on that very happy day,
So now we have our Seder to commemorate that feat---
We drink some wine and talk a lot, we sing and also eat!
Matza, that is,
Maror too.
And good food.
Y'all come back now, y'hear!
Don't Sit on the Afikomen
(Sung to the tune of "Glory, Glory, Halleluyah")
My Dad at every Seder breaks a Matza piece in two
And hides the Afikomen half-A game for me and you
Find it, hold it ransom for the Seder isn't through
'till the Afikomen's gone.
Chorus:
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Don't sit on the Afikomen.
Or the Meal will last all night
One year Daddy hid it 'neath a pillow on a chair
But just as I raced over, my Aunt Sophie sat down there
She threw herself upon it-Awful crunching filled the air
And crumbs flew all around
Chorus
There were matza crumbs all over-Oh, it was a messy sight
We swept up all the pieces though it took us half the night
So, if you want your seder ending sooner than dawn's light,
Don't sit on the Afiko-o-men
Chorus
Elijah
(Sung to the tune of "Maria")
Elijah!
I just saw the prophet Elijah.
And suddenly that name
Will never sound the same to me.
Elijah!
He came to our seder
Elijah!
He had his cup of wine,
But could not stay to dine
This year--
Elijah!
For your message all Jews are waiting:
That the time's come for peace
and not hating--
Elijah--
Next year we'll be waiting.
Elijah!
Gilligan's Exodus
(Sung to the theme from "Gilligan's Island")
Recline right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.
that started many years ago in old, ancient Egypt.
The Jews were forced to work as slaves, they suffered that ordeal.
We celebrated their Exodus with a three hour meal, a three hour meal!
The Pharoah was an evil dude, his wrath would not replent
If not for the effort of the fearless jews.....we'd all be keeping Lent(2x)
They landed in the desert after parting the Red Sea
With Moses, and Aaron too, each Israelite and his wife
A movie star, the Professor and Miriam.........here on Passover night!!
I've Been Cooking for this Seder
(Sung to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad")
I've been cooking for this seder
Erev Pesach day
Making matzah balls and kugel
So we'll feast as well as pray
Can't you smell the pareve sponge cake
It rises up so little without yeast
Can't you hear our voices singing
At this joyous Pesach feast
Mama, you can cook
Mama, you can cook
Milchidik and fleishidik and pareve, too
Mama, you can stew
Mama, you can stew
Your seder food's delicious and we thank you
Les Miselijah
(Sung to the tune of "Do you hear the people Sing" from Les Miserables)
Do you hear the doorbell ring,
And it's a little after ten?
It can only be Elijah
Come to take a sip again.
He is feeling pretty fine
But in his head a screw is loose.
So perhaps instead of wine
We should only give him juice
Pesach Macarena
(Sung to the tune of "Macarena")
Take coconut, eggs, and lots of grease,
Cook 'em in the oven for your Pesach feast.
They won't rise 'cause they ain't got yeast.
Hey, macaroons!
Mix matzah meal with eggs for a goop
Form into balls and drop in your soup
So heavy on your spoon it will make it droop
Hey, kneidlach!
Through the woods a rabbi took a hike
Found a lake at the edge of a dike
For her favorite dish caught some carp and pike
Hey, gefilte fish!
What do you need for your seder plate?
What do you eat before it's too late?
What do you take to anti-constipate?
Hey, stewed prunes!
What do we crave on the very last night
Sprinkled with cheese for a dinner that's light
Al dente noodles that we long to bite
Hey, macaroni!
Pharoah's Nile
(Sung to the theme from "Gilligan's Island")
Just lean right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip
That started back in ancient times, while under Pharoah's whip.
Well Moses was a pious man, G-d made him brave and sure,
Though Pharoah was a mighty man, his heart was not pure,
his heart was not pure.
Old Pharoah started getting tough, the Jews were harshly bossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless few, our people would be lost,
our people would be lost.
They cried to G-d, please rescue us, conditions here are vile.
Send Moses, and Aaron, too, to save our children and wives.
We'll leave this land at G-d's behest, here on Pharoah's Nile.
So G-d said Moses take you staff and with your brother go.
To Pharoah you will plead your case, to let my people go.
Well Moses, he sure did his best, but Pharoah was not moved,
'Til G-d sent down ten dreadful plagues, and His power was proved,
His power was proved.
The frogs, the lice, and even boils, could not make Pharoah bend
'Til slaying of the first born males, threatened Pharoah's life to end,
threatened Pharoah's life to end.
The Jews escaped miraculously, when G-d helped them to flee.
Egyptian armies followed them, but drowned in the deep Red Sea.
So this is a tale of our ancestors, they wandered a long, long time.
They had to make the best of things, it was an uphill climb.
So join us here each year my friends, it's sure to be worthwhile,
Retelling how the Jews escaped, far from Pharoah's Nile.
Take Me Out to the Seder
(Sung to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame")
Take me out to the Seder
Take me out to the crowd
Feed me some matzah and kosher wine
We'll wine and dine and we'll have a good time
For we'll root for Moshe Rabbeinu
And our crossing through the Reed Sea
For it's one, two, ...four cups of wine
We rejoice that we are free!
Sung to: On Top of Old Smokey
(by Albert Resnick)
Oh near to mt. Sinai
And close by the sea
We'll build us a nation
That's our destiny
With bricks and with mortar
We'll each build a home
Where love and affection
Cannot ever roam
Men only: yes our women will adore us!
Women only: we'll praise you to the skies
Men only: they'll all melt before us!
Women only: when we look in your eyes
All together now: this matza will keep us
From going insane
When we stack our gefilta
Fish up with chrain
With latkes and carpus
Kneidels all glatt
Keep stuffing yourself and
You end up with a pot
Leaving on a Desert Plane
(Sung to the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
All our bags are packed we're ready to go
We're standing here outside our doors
We dare not wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' this early morn'
Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn
We're planning our escape so we won't die
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving from this great strain
We pray we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
There's so many times you've let us down
Your many crimes have plagued our town
I tell you now they were all mean things
Every pace I go, you'll shrink from view,
Every song I sing will be 'gainst you
I won't be back to wear your ball and chain
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving through a wet plain
We hope we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me diss you
Close your eyes, we'll be on our way
Dream about the days to come
When you'll be left here all alone
About the time when I won't have to say
You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go
We're leaving all our bread grain
We know we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.
Mostly Matza
(Sung to W.A. Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik)
Notes: Do not repeat the music, as in the original Eine Kleine Nachtmusik.
Punctuation is provided only to help sing phrases and is not gramatically correct.
Recommended starting note is E and not G as in the original music.
Recommend writing to me for the written music.
Moses followed all of G-d's commands, helped the Jews escape from
Pharaoh's hands. Egypt was where the Jews all lived, and happy with
their lives, until the Pharaoh came, and made them slaves; he worked
them night and day, and held them all at bay, they had to get away.
Moses, saw a bush, burning bright, G-d appeared, told him he must
save the Jews. "Moses, you must go to Egypt speak to Pharaoh tell
him I am not amused. Yes you must go, and tell him tell him he must
let the Hebrews go yes he must let my people go. Their pleas I can't
ignore, they will be slaves no more. You tell Pharaoh he will be
punished if he doesn't listen and won't let my people go."
Moses went to Egypt land, went to see old Pharaoh. Threatened him on
G-d's behalf. Instead it, just made Pharaoh laugh. He said "I will
not free them, they are my slaves forever. So go back where you came
from, give up on your endeavor. I am strong. You are weak, so turn
around go on home and stay there 'cause I never will give in."
So Moses said to Pharaoh, "I have my G-d behind me. You will release
my people, or you'll be very sorry. Plagues will come, horrid
plagues so be aware what'll happen to you if you don't release the
Jews. I've warned you for the very last time the plagues will come
and G-d won't be kind as you will soon find." Pharaoh said "I have
not changed my mind."
This is where the tale gets really good. First, God changed the
water into blood* * rhyme with "good" :)
"A trick," said his magicians, endorsed Pharaoh's position. But Pharaoh
hadn't reckoned, that God would send a second. Frogs hopped around
the city, the picture wasn't pretty. The people were surrounded, the
croaking noise resounded. Well Pharaoh still resisted, what Moses
had insisted. A third plague was enlisted, and so the lice persisted.
It seemed as if the Jews could never leave, Pharaoh's land. It seemed,
as if they'd never leave, but, they knew, they'd just have to believe.
All of, a sudden it looked bleak, with wild beasts ev'rywhere, the
people ran and shrieked. The cattle all died where they had been
grazing and the boils were torture they could not endure. People,
were in pain, they agreed, that the Jews, should be free from
slavery. Pharaoh, would not listen to them Moses said a seventh
plague had been decreed. The hail came down, down from the sky in
torrents, hail fell down so hard. And such was Pharaoh's fate, God
sent plague number eight the swarms of locusts filled the sky to
terrify. Soon the sun's rays were suppressed. Egypt was in
darkness. Then the tenth plague was begun, and Pharaoh, at last was,
undone.
"Put lamb's blood on your doorposts," the Jews were all instructed.
Egyptians did not know this, an awful plague erupted. Death appeared,
at their door and ev'ry first-born in Egypt died including Pharaoh's
fav'rite child. The Jews all followed Moses, they made a swift
departure. But Pharaoh's armies followed, intending to recapture.
Just ahead, was the sea so Moses stretched out his hand to part it
and they walked through carefully. The armies followed foolishly,
the waters closed the soldiers were drowned the Jews were then free.
Now, we celebrate our freedom ev'ry Passover and this, is why we dine
on mostly matza, pasta we do not, ingest. Consuming mostly matza
which the rabbis blessed. We tell this story all about the Hebrews'
quest, at, this matza fest.
