Morris calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama." The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up." "But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?" "It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the pain." "But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?" "No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with the lawyer the day after tomorrow." "Dad, don't do anything rash. I'm going to take the first flight down. Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there." "Well, all right, I promise. Next week is Passover. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the Seder. Call your sister in NJ and break the news to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore." A half hour later, Morris receives a call from his daughter who tells him that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the children will be arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow. "Benny told me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone, but promise me that you won't do anything until we both get there." Morris promises. After hanging up from his daughter, Morris turns to his wife and says, "Well, it worked this time, but what are we going to do to get them to come down next year?"

*****

Passover is approaching. At the Seder table, every Jewish child will be retold the story of Moses and the Pharaoh, and how G-d brought boils, locusts, hail and the other plagues onto the Egyptians. Yet in spite of this overwhelming evidence of G-d's intentions, Pharaoh refused to let the Jews go, until a tenth plague, the death of the first-born children, was inflicted on every Egyptian home, passing over the Jewish homes. Only after this tragedy did the Pharaoh relent and let the Jews leave slavery and Egypt to begin their journey to the promised land.

This has been known for generations. What has not been known is why the Pharaoh, in the face of such overwhelming evidence would refuse to release the Jews after the first nine plagues? It took eight years of research by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the renowned psychologist and nurse, to find the definitive answer. Dr. Kubler-Ross spent those years studying the Dead Sea Scrolls before discovering the answer. And once found, it was obvious.....The Pharaoh was still in de Nile.


haggadah Section: Maggid - Beginning
Source: http://www.thejewishcollection.com/passoverjokes.pdf