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The Dr. Seuss Version of the 4 Questions

Contributed by Nina Price

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023

Why is it only

on Passover night

we never know how

to do anything right?

We don't eat our meals

in the regular ways,

the ways that we do

on all other days.

`Cause on all other nights

we may eat

all kinds of wonderful

good bready treats,

like big purple pizza

that tastes like a pickle,

crumbly crackers

and pink pumpernickel,

sassafras sandwich

and tiger on rye,

fifty falafels in pita,

fresh-fried,

with peanut-butter

and tangerine sauce

spread onto each side

up-and-down, then across,

and toasted whole-wheat bread

with liver and ducks,

and crumpets and dumplings,

and bagels and lox,

and doughnuts with one hole

and doughnuts with four,

and cake with six layers

and windows and doors.

Yes--

on all other nights

we eat all kinds of bread,

but tonight of all nights

we munch matzah instead.

And on all other nights

we devour

vegetables, green things,

and bushes and flowers,

lettuce that's leafy

and candy-striped spinach,

fresh silly celery

(Have more when you're finished!)

cabbage that's flown

by a polka-dot bird

who can't find his way home,

daisies and roses

and inside-out grass

and artichoke hearts

that are simply first class!

Sixty asparagus tips

served in glasses

with anchovy sauce

and some sticky molasses--

But on Passover night

you would never consider

eating an herb

that wasn't all bitter.

And on all other nights

you would probably flip

if anyone asked you

how often you dip.

On some days I only dip

one Bup-Bup egg

in a teaspoon of vinegar

mixed with nutmeg,

but sometimes we take

more than ten thousand tails

of the Yakkity-birds

that are hunted in Wales,

and dip them in vats

full of Mumbegum juice.

Then we feed them to Harold,

our six-legged moose.

Or we don't dip at all!

We don't ask your advice.

So why on this night

do we have to dip twice?

And on all other nights

we can sit as we please,

on our heads, on our elbows,

our backs or our knees,

or hang by our toes

or on top of a camel

with one or two humps,

with our foot on the table,

our nose on the floor,

with one ear in the window

and one out the door,

doing somersaults

over the greasy k'nishes

or dancing a jig

without breaking the dishes.

Yes--

on all other nights

you sit nicely when dining--

So why on this night

must it all be reclining?
haggadah Section: -- Four Questions
Source: http://www.jr.co.il/humor/pass09.txt

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