INTRODUCTION

Why is this Haggadah different? 

More than any Jewish book of prayer or study written since the close of the Bible 2500

years ago, the Haggadah has resisted attempts to change its format or content.  

The reasons are immediate and apparent to anyone who has enjoyed a Seder conducted

by someone who knew what they were doing. The impression that remains is indelible

and enriching beyond compare.  

Seder night is a journey into another time and place. It is a swift glance at the darkest

night of the human soul and a lingering dance with liberty and freedom. It is a long play

with family and food and a short sharp reminder of the depths to which we may plummet

when the framework and fabric of our life decays.  

The Journey, more a procession, wends its stately way through fifteen points of interest.

There are washing of hands and breaking of bread. There are stories and unfamiliar

foods. There are roles for children and playful songs for adults. There is wonder and

enchantment, heroes and wicked adversaries, stories of Revelation and Retribution. There

is even time to partake of a full Festival meal. There must be time, in my father's house;

the Seder took upwards of six hours.  

If the Seder is an adventure, the Haggadah is Map, Guide, Directory and Vehicle.  

What is it?  

Well, the main event of Pesach (Passover) and Seder night is the Exodus from Egypt, the

miraculous birth and redemption of the Jewish People. One cannot be long in Recovery

without becoming increasingly aware how close are the ideas of Exodus and Recovery.

My understanding of the steps and process of Recovery has deepened my appreciation of

the Seder. Now my Seder blossoms in the light of Recovery.  

The Seder is not simply a description of the Exodus. It is an opportunity to scrutinize the

real issue: Our slavery. We were slaves and now we are free.  

So what then is freedom? Does it mean we may now do whatever we want?  

3

If we try that route we will soon find ourselves back on the road into Egypt. Freedom is

not license. It is the absence of constraint and an awesome life-long struggle. We have

learned this lesson, painfully, again and again. For when we became habituated to any

self-destructive behavior we were no longer free. Furthermore, of all the destructive

patterns of behavior to seduce a person, a "bad habit" is the most difficult to kick.

Whether the habit is heroin, gambling or fixing people's lives. Whether it is self-denial,

fasting, smoking or looking through people's windows.  

This then is what the Haggadah is about. Long before the 12 Steps were formalized,

enlightened people knew a Way. The Haggadah describes the Recovery process of an

entire people, hundreds of thousands, adults and children. The distilled essence of their

experience boils down to this:  

 They were powerless, they admitted it.  

 They came to believe in a Higher Power.  

 They turned their lives and will over to it.  

EXODUS FROM SLAVERY 

4

THE MEANING OF CHOMETZ

It is a very ancient custom (dating back to around 1300 B.C.E.) to begin preparing for

Pesach 30 days in advance.  

We do this primarily by learning about Pesach and cleaning our dwelling houses and

other properties of all CHOMETZ (leavened foods).  

On the evening before Pesach begins, we search by the light of a candle all the nooks and

crannies where conceivably Chometz may have been carried and forgotten. We remove

all cooking pots, crockery and cutlery that have been used throughout the year and

prepare food for Pesach using Pesach foodstuffs and utensils.  

The climax of all this frenetic activity is the Seder Night when we join with our families

and enjoy the ritual and tradition of the festival itself.  

For those of us familiar with the Twelve Steps and terminology of Recovery, the essence

of our preparations for Pesach are a thorough First Step. Wherein we examine in great

detail all the manifestations of the disease and all the forms which it may be taking

control of our lives.  

What is Chometz (leavening)? Technically, it is the action of particular enzymes in the

flour which are activated only by the presence of water. It is what transforms a lump of

pasta into the fluffy aerated palatable staple we know as dough which bakes into bread

and cakes.  

No one in their right mind would sit down to a meal of raw yeast. It may indeed be the

secret, the essence of the goodness of bread. The fact that yeast makes the dough rise and

taste good, is not a reason to make a meal of it. Gorging on yeast or sour dough would

make anyone very ill. This has been our experience who have gorged ourselves on

"yeast". We have been used to abuse something or someone in our lives. A relationship

that might have been nourishing in the right circumstances or proportions has turned

toxic because we are extreme. We have lost the balance of sufficiency and health. We are

incapable of controlling the manner or frequency of our obsession or the nature of our

compulsion.  

The First Step is an admission of powerlessness and recognition of the unmanageability

of our lives. Strangely though, the longer we work at recovery the trickier and subtler

grow the craziness’s. Here is an example: Once there was a man who vowed to himself 

5

that he would have the perfectly Pesach-cleaned house. Towards the end of the winter he

began in the attic, and working his way downwards, took the house apart stick by stick.

Three weeks before Pesach there was no bread or Chometz in the house. People entering

had to examine their clothing and pockets for crumbs, wiping their shoes on a special

mat. He was satisfied that the house was completely free of Chometz, he had so to speak

achieved a spiritual Asepsis. He sat down to enjoy his Seder with a clear mind.  

Now a bird flew over the house with a biscuit in its mouth. The biscuit fell down the

chimney into the soup cooking over the fire and appeared in the man's plate as he was

about to eat. He was horrified and aghast. He looked for a reason to explain this obvious

act-of-G-D.  

We in the Program do not have to look far for an explanation. The man was obviously a

control freak. His whole Pesach was the antithesis of surrender. The reality is that we are

powerless even over such a relatively simple thing as cleaning for Pesach.  

Unless we receive the help of a Higher Power we are doomed to struggle in vain. If we

find the task of cleaning for Pesach daunting it is because we are supposed to find it so.

None of us has achieved a clear picture of the nature of our disease without

simultaneously being overwhelmed at the task of Recovery. That is why the Second Step

follows the first full recognition: A power greater than ourselves.  

In the history of the creation described in the Book of Genesis the unfolding of evolution

is depicted over a series of six days beginning with the creation of Light. Each days

progress is accompanied with the comment "And the Creator saw that it was good".  

Upon completion of the sixth day of creation, it is observed "And behold it was very

good". The Talmud asks "What happened on the six day that merited the superlative

description Very good?"  

The answer says the Talmud is this: There was an addition of a certain ingredient to the

stew of creation, meriting that title. A final magic ingredient, the yeast that makes the

dough rise. Sometimes we call it the Evil Inclination, sometimes we refer to it as Satan,

sometimes we refer to it as the Angel of Death. It makes the world "Very Good".  

This concept that the impulse to indulge our desires for comfort, sex and prestige is the

source of all that is excellent in the Universe is thematic through Rabbinical literature.

The disease model of addiction simply examines the effects of these desires when they

have become ruling passions. Another theme that runs through the literature is the

reference to the Evil Inclination as the yeast in the dough.  

The full realization of how we have turned our lives into problems through the

misappropriation, as it were, of funds must be clear to us before we can recover.  

In order to keep it simple let us explore those three areas of lives where ancient sages and

modern scholars agree we need to look.  

6

Step four in the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of AA" contains the following

quote:  

"If men and women didn't exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort

to harvest food or construct shelter there would be no survival. If they didn't reproduce,

the earth wouldn't be populated. If there were no social instinct, if men cared nothing for

the society of one another, there would be no society.  

So these desires - for sex relations, for material and emotional security and for

companionship - are perfectly necessary and right, and surely G-D-given. Yet these

instincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions.

Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling

our lives. Our desires for sex, for material and emotional security, and for an important

place in society often tyrannize us. When thus out of joint, man's natural desires cause

him great trouble, practically all the trouble there is".  

Compare the above with a much older quote, dating back around 150 C.E. Rabbi Eliezer

is quoted in the Mishna as saying;  

"Envy, greed and pride take a man out of the world".  

It is clear that the Evil Inclination hasn't managed since the dawn of time to invent even

one simple human pleasure. This stands at the crux of our understanding. Good and Evil

are not the same as right and wrong.  

Now can we apply all this knowledge to the cleaning of the house before Pesach?  

Can we see it as the opportunity to survey our possessions and take stock of every single

item in our lives. Can we bear to scrutinize them clearly and plainly? Ask ourselves how

we are meeting our basic human needs? Are we obtaining our supplies in a spiritual way?

Are we now living the excellence?  

SPIRITUALITY 

We will be in difficulty if we try arriving at a clear consensus of the meaning of

Spirituality. Though there are no perfect definitions of the word, certain aspects though

are self-explanatory. Spirit means breath, the stuff of life. Whatever is dead cannot be

spiritual. The more we celebrate the life we enjoy, the more we live inside our bodies in

the here and now the more we are reaching towards a spiritual existence. For many of us,

simply dwelling inside our skin has been the most difficult task in Recovery. 

7

THE SEDER

Preparations for the Seder have two distinct parts:  

 Cleaning House.  

 Creating Order.  

I. CLEANING HOUSE 

As with all the rituals of Pesach (Passover) and the Seder, every little detail can be

examined and worked until it blossoms and sparkles. And so we will see, even the

mundane task of ridding the house of Chometz (leavened food) brings us an acute

awareness of the following shortcomings. 

A. Our Denial of the prevalence of Chometz.  

B. Our Procrastination over the jobs that need tackling.  

C. Our powerlessness over the final outcome.  

D. Our Perfectionism in setting standards we can't meet.  

In order to Clean House properly for Pesach we have in some way to take the following

steps.  

A. Break through our denial and become aware.  

B. Confront procrastination and take action.  

C. Admit powerlessness and surrender.  

D. Abandon perfectionism and humbly accept our limits. 

II. CREATING ORDER 

The Hebrew word "Seder" has only one translation. It means "ORDER". To celebrate the

festival properly a good deal of attention must be paid to PEOPLE, PLACES AND

THINGS and a definite framework built around them.  

A. PEOPLE - No one celebrates Seder on their own voluntarily. But the Seder is not

an impromptu party. The Seder should be enjoyed with loved ones and shared 

8

with guests. In preparing for the Seder it is important to know who will be joining

us.  

B. PLACES - The Seder requires a table, chairs, kitchen, space. In short, we need a

place to call home. For many of us, this Seder will be an opportunity to take a

fresh look at our environment and its ambiance. Most of us have a comfortable

dwelling place, perhaps even luxurious. The Seder, however, doesn't take place in

a garden or a bedroom or a study. It is a place for the gathering of family and

friends where other standards apply.  

C. THINGS - The Seder is a pageant of music, stories and symbols. There are

symbols of all descriptions from white linen and candles to books and

pillowcases. The majority of "props" are the items of food eaten at the Seder. All

this requires logistics that may take weeks of organizing. The Seder is lavish and

rich in detail.   

PREFACE AND ABOUT THIS ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH 

Because of undeniable and inalienable Rights to a Higher Power of my own

understanding.  

Because the Right to a Higher Power of my own understanding is total and without any

exceptions, I have not used the word "G-D" in this Haggadah. For me it carries baggage,

has connotations and brings associations which would deny me the right of free

association.  

Instead I have used the Hebrew word (translit.) HASHEM which means "The Name". I

know of no one who has written explaining its meaning. It is strangely, without millennia

of Linguistic and Philosophical impedimenta. No one has written a scholarly treatise on

the meaning of the word HASHEM. You may use whatever name you have for your

Higher Power. For me the name changes as my knowledge changes, even as my mood

changes.  

"Hashem" seems the least tyrannical of all choices in the circumstances.  

If I have referred to Hashem as "Him" it is only because I find "Her" equally arbitrary,

"It" inappropriate, and I am still hopelessly bound by literary convention and too timid to

invent something new.  

It is interesting to note that the Haggadah does not mention Moshe (Moses) who was

central in the dramatic events described in the Exodus from Egypt.  

The reason is pointedly an application of the fundamental rule of "principles before

personalities". Whilst Moshe may have been the most important person to carry the

message to us, we slaves in Egypt were the real cause of events. We mattered in ways

that Moshe didn't.  

9

We were the people in trouble, enslaved and in need. The Haggadah reminds us that we

did not embark upon the EXODUS brimming with goodwill and fellowship. We were

physically, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. All of us (excepting perhaps a few

women), were totally enmeshed in the spiraling insanity of life in Egypt. This then is the

story of our Recovery. The principles that become apparent through the story and rituals

of Seder Night are germane to our life tonight.  

Moshe our teacher is not Author. Who then is the Author of the Haggadah?  

There is another anonymous character whose presence pervades the Seder. If you both

should chance to meet, consider yourself fortunate. But remember what was said: “You

may say YOU were there, but you may not say whom you met there. You may repeat

what you heard there without attaching names to it. "  

Knowing our selves as well as we do, and our penchant for evading the obvious

opportunity to self-examine. It is also fairly certain that any mention of Moshe would

have been the launching point for innumerable anecdotes and commentaries about his

role. We try and keep the focus on ourselves where it belongs.  

10

 

THE FOUR CUPS OF WINE

One of the main symbols of the Seder, the four cups of wine, corresponds to the four

words for redemption mentioned in the Torah as it is written: 

And I brought you out.  

And I saved you.  

And I redeemed you.  

And I took you. 

(There is a fifth term hence a fifth cup, but this by tradition refers to the future

redemption.) 

And I brought you.

There are four characteristics we seem to have in common: 

I think I'm bad, defective, worthless.  

I'm afraid, should you ever discover who I really am, you must reject me.  

No one but I myself can meet my needs.  

My greatest need is for escape, ease, comfort, prestige, sex, etc. 

To counter these delusions requires time and recovery. We allude to them in the process

of drinking the four cups. 

1. The first we drink after Kiddush whose message is clear. 

Hashem wanted us. He still wants us. He chose to bring us out of Egypt. We are

not bad or worthless.  

2. The second cup we drink after telling the Haggadah which is the description of

the worst side of our character and personality. Even knowing that we were idol

worshipers, Hashem chose to embrace rather than reject us.  

3. The third we drink after eating the holiday meal which symbolizes the satisfaction

of our needs, for companionship, food, for a place to belong, etc.  

4. The fourth cup we drink after Hallel "Praise" when we sing Hashem's praises and

our wonderment at His unconditional love for us. It is this love which is our

greatest need.  

11

So the four cups represent the four realities:  

 We are perfect just the way we are, and right where we're supposed to be.  

 We can be known intimately, totally and still be accepted.  

 We can and will have our needs met by others.  

 We are loved unconditionally, and this is our greatest need.  

The fifth cup reminds us that we are never completely cured and we are always in the

process. Only after the end of time as we know it will we be recovered. So we pour it but

do not drink it. This is the cup of ELIYAHU the prophet whose arrival we anticipate.  

There is a difference in custom as to when this fifth cup for ELIYAHU is poured. There

are those who pour it before the Ma-Nishtana when we pour the second cup. Indicating

that we feel secure knowing that no matter what we have done, at the end of time when a

final reckoning is made and all about ourselves is revealed, we will still not be rejected

by the Almighty.  

The other custom is to pour this fifth cup before Hallel when we pour the fourth cup. This

reminds us that even when Recovery is achieved our greatest need will still be the need to

be loved unconditionally. Even when Moshiach comes it will be to teach us how to open

our hearts to those who are close to us and love them in the way that Hashem loves. As it

is written:  

"Behold I send you Eliyahu the prophet before the coming of that Great and Awesome

day. And he will reconcile the hearts of fathers to sons and the hearts of sons to their

fathers".  

12

CHAROSES

Before the Seder begins we prepare a dish of chopped fruit and nuts. (Symbolizing the

mortar we used building Pharaoh's cities in Egypt). This is the Charoses into which we

dip the bitter herb before eating it. Its main ingredients are Apple, Walnuts, Cinnamon

and Wine.  

I. The Apple is our symbol for LOVE the main ingredient in the Charoses. When

Egyptians saw Jews multiplying, in spite of Draconian programs aimed at

controlling Jewish birth rate. They tried preventing men and women getting

together; by so arranging work-shifts and timetables that married couples would

never have time alone together. Jewish Women took the initiative. Acting in concert

they packed lunches for their husbands and went down to their work places on the

building sites. When the men were allowed to stop for a break, their wives led them

into nearby fields to enjoy privacy. When Hashem saw their intent, He caused apple

orchards to spring up wherever couples went to picnic. And in those orchards the

Jewish people was conceived as it is written (Song of Songs): "Beneath the Apple

tree I aroused you. There your mother birthed you, where she herself was born".  

The playful nature of their lovemaking is also considered important by the Rabbis

in an appreciation of that epoch. A romantic interlude described in the Midrash

vignettes a scene:  

The couples are seated beneath the apple tree, in the privacy afforded by its

drooping, blossom-laden branches. He has enjoyed the food she prepared. She takes

the cosmetics from her reticule and begins to "make" her face. Looking at herself in

the mirror she remarks to her husband: "Which of us is more beautiful, do you

think?" He leans closer to peer at his face beside her in the mirror....  

(Those very mirrors the women used when applying cosmetics, were given an

elevated status in the Temple Building Fund towards which they were later donated.

Moses was instructed to take and cast them into the Great Copper Laver from which

the priests drew water to prepare their hands and feet before services in the

Temple.)  

This little story has meanings on many levels of scholarship. In order to fully

appreciate its significance, know that the reference to the birth of the mother in the

verse from Song of Songs, alluded to a Cabalistic principle known as "The Field of

Holy Apples" or the Shechina, the dwelling presence of the Creator. That spot in the 

13

Temple where the Presence of Hashem was seen in fire, crouching like a lion, was

known as the Apple.  

When Hashem told Avraham our forefather that we his descendants would be

slaves in Egypt for 400 years, Hashem promised not to forsake us. Even assuring

Avraham that He Hashem would go into exile with us. This then was the Field of

Holy Apples where we were conceived, The Shechina.  

The apple is bound up with the prime number 5 and the Hebrew letter HEH. The

number of seeds in the apple is 5. The number of bumps on the bottom of the apple

are 5. So its shape and associations, e.g. the way the seed is suspended in womblike

cells where decomposition must precede germination all have added to the layers of

meaning evoked by this symbol.  

II. The walnut is notorious for its "Klipah", its shells. Before we can get at the kernel

we must strip away layer upon layer of defenses. The walnut symbolically is almost

an analogy of the world. It has four different layers of Protection:  

(1) Dishonesty and self-deception, 

(2) close-mindedness and blind prejudice, 

(3) unwillingness and inertia, 

(4) the fog and clouds of habit and history.  

All of them have to go before we move forward. As we strive to change, the masks and

armor fall away and we reach a clear perception of ourselves. The walnut is a paradigm

of suppression, representing all the manifold efforts of dishonesty to prevent us seeing

ourselves as we really are. The walnut is bound up with the prime number 17 which is

also the value of the Hebrew word for SIN. It describes an arrow shot wide of the mark,

and represents the natural world severed from all its spiritual connections. The raw

material of our bodies, the tools with which we strive to serve the Spirit of Hashem's will

for us.  

In the description of a soul surveying its body at the end of a lifetime, searching for assets

to salvage from the wreckage of the past, it is written (Song of Songs), "I went down to

the grove of walnuts to Look and See..." The Kabbalists saw in the shape of the walnut

many interesting things. The Kernel is reminiscent of the brain, with its convolutions and

striations. But whereas our brains have two lobes the walnut has four lobes. The universe,

according to the Kabbalists has four "lobes". The walnut has been used to imitate

symbols from the "Celestial Chariot" of Ezekiel, to the concept of Adam and Eve in the

Garden of Eden.  

III. We add cinnamon to the Charoses. In its natural, stick form it resembles straw, which

was so necessary to the manufacture of bricks in ancient times. It is bound up with the

prime number seven, whose significance is a well known aspect of Judaism.  

14

IV. The final ingredient is wine, the juice of the grape. (The ethyl alcohol manufactured

in the process of fermentation is but a tiny aspect of wine's multifaceted symbolism, and

its role in Judaism.) The grape has been chosen to represent the powers of the mind, the

capability for thought and faith, prayer and meditation. Wine represents the fulfillment of

that promise, the conscious contact with Hashem and the knowledge of His will for us.

Wine is a symbol for Prophecy which is the ultimate conscious contact where awareness

has been reciprocated.  

The symbolism was acquired by the grape as a poetic expression of a mundane

phenomenon. The mysterious action (of airborne bacteria) which causes the fermentation

of the grape into wine, almost an analogy of the process of human thought. The

fermentation action with its vigorous bubbling, its transformation into "spirit" and its

spontaneous enhancement, simulates the thought process that occurs in our own mind

when ideas ferment, solidify and crystallize.  

The Union of Man with Hashem was a state of mind, much sought by the prophets and

the school of Jewish Meditation. It was always preceded by joy and gratitude which were

prerequisites to the prophetic state. So the grape also came to symbolize joy and

gratitude. The only state that is elevated beyond the heights of prophetic communion are

those moments when we feel Love as it is written (Song of Songs): "But Your Love is

better than wine".  

The Seder begins with a Benediction Sanctifying the Day. A declaration of a Yom Tov. It

has a standard form, Kiddush. 


haggadah Section: Introduction
Source: THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH