Welcome to Haggadot.com (the "Site"). Haggadot.com, customandcraft.org, [email protected] and all future,
as-yet-to-be-created brands are projects of Custom & Craft Jewish Rituals, Inc., which is the legal name of this
California nonprofit organization (hereinafter referred to as “Haggadot.com”). All projects of Custom & Craft Jewish
Rituals are subject to the Terms of Service described below. This Terms of Service ("TOS") contain the terms and
conditions that govern your use of the Site, and the Haggadot.com Service (as defined below). This TOS describes your
rights and responsibilities and what you can expect from the Haggadot.com Service. Use of the Site constitutes your
acceptance of and agreement to this TOS.
Haggadot.com reserves the right to add, delete, and/or modify any of the terms and conditions contained in this TOS, at
any time and in its sole discretion, by posting a change notice or a new agreement on the Haggadot.com Site. In the
event of substantive changes to this TOS, you may be notified by email. If any modification is unacceptable to you, your
only recourse is to not use the Site and the Haggadot.com Service. Your continued use of the Haggadot.com Site following
posting of a change notice or new TOS on the Haggadot.com Site will constitute binding acceptance of the changes.
The Haggadot.com Service.
Haggadot.com provides a number of Internet-based services through the Site as well as any other Haggadot.com affiliate
websites, digital content, mobile applications, online service or anywhere the TOS are shown (all such services,
collectively, the "Haggadot.com Service"). One such service enables users to create customized products, including
without limitation, merchandise and books (collectively, "Products"). Haggadot.com users may create and purchase
individual Products for their own personal use. Haggadot.com may offer a number of other services on its Site, including
without limitation, message boards, contests, and newsletters, which may change from time to time.
Use of the Web Site and Haggadot.com Service.
Eligibility. Haggadot.com will only knowingly provide the Haggadot.com Service to parties that can lawfully enter into
and form contracts under applicable law. If you are under the age of 18, but at least 13 years of age, you may use the
Haggadot.com Service only under the supervision of a parent or legal guardian who agrees to be bound by this TOS. The
Haggadot.com Service is not intended for children under the age of 13.
Compliance with TOS and Applicable Law. You must comply with all of the terms and conditions of this TOS, the applicable
agreements and policies referred to below, and all applicable laws, regulations and rules when you use the Haggadot.com
Service and the Site.
Your License to Use the Web Site and the Haggadot.com Service.
Haggadot.com solely and exclusively owns all intellectual property and other rights, title and interest in and to the
Haggadot.com Service and Site, except as expressly provided for in these TOS. For example and without limitation,
Haggadot.com owns the copyrights in and to the Site, and certain technology used in providing the Haggadot.com Service.
You will not acquire any right, title or interest therein under this TOS or otherwise to any intellectual property owned
by Haggadot.com.
Haggadot.com grants you a limited revocable license to access and use the Site and the Haggadot.com Service for your own
personal purposes, subject to your compliance with this TOS. This license does not include the right to collect or use
information contained on the Site for purposes prohibited by Haggadot.com; to compete with Haggadot.com; to create
derivative works based on the content of the Site; or download or copy the Site (other than page caching). If you use
the Site in a manner that exceeds the scope of this license or you breach this TOS, Haggadot.com may revoke the license
granted to you.
This Section 2.3 does not pertain to your intellectual property rights. For information regarding your intellectual
property rights, please see Section 4.
Third-Party Content: Wherever Haggadot.com websites, online services, and digital content make reference to third party
organizations or include information, content, or graphics from third parties, Haggadot.com assumes third-party content
is for general informational purposes only and displaying third-party content does not constitute a recommendation or
endorsement of the opinion, product or service. Haggadot.com makes no claim as to the accuracy or relevance of
third-party content. If you decide to access any other websites linked to or from this website, you do so entirely at
your own risk.
Third-Party Services. Haggadot.com may use third parties to provide certain services accessible through the Site.
Haggadot.com does not control those third parties or their services, and you agree that Haggadot.com will not be liable
to you in any way for your use of such services. These third parties may have their own terms of use and other policies.
You must comply with such terms and policies as well as this TOS when you use those services. If any such terms or
policies conflict with Haggadot.com's TOS, agreements, or policies, you must comply with Haggadot.com's TOS, agreements,
or policies, as applicable.
General Rules.
Prohibited Use. You may only use the Haggadot.com Service as expressly permitted by Haggadot.com. You may not cause harm
to the Site or the Haggadot.com Service. Specifically, but not by way of limitation, you may not: (i) interfere with the
Haggadot.com Service by using viruses or any other programs or technology designed to disrupt or damage any software or
hardware; (ii) modify, create derivative works from, reverse engineer, decompile or disassemble any technology used to
provide the Haggadot.com Service; (iii) use a robot, spider or other device or process to monitor the activity on or
copy pages from the Site, except in the operation or use of an internet "search engine," hit counters or similar
technology; (iv) collect electronic mail addresses or other information from third parties by using the Haggadot.com
Service; (v) impersonate another person or entity; (vi) use any meta tags, search terms, key terms, or the like that
contain Haggadot.com's name or trademarks; (vii) engage in spamming or any activity that interferes with another user's
ability to use or enjoy the Haggadot.com Service; (viii) assist or encourage any third party in engaging in any activity
prohibited by this TOS; (ix) upload to, transmit through, or display any material that is unlawful, fraudulent,
threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, obscene, or otherwise objectionable or that infringes any third party’s
intellectual property rights or any confidential, proprietary, or trade secret information of any third party; (x)
upload, transmit, or display any advertisements, solicitations, chain letters, pyramid schemes, investment
opportunities, or other unsolicited commercial communications (unless expressly permitted); (xi) display adult nudity or
inappropriate child nudity; (xii) use the Site for sale of goods or services; or (xiii) upload photographs or other
content depicting images or people who have not given permission to have their photographs or images uploaded to a share
site.
Privacy Policy. By entering into this TOS, you agree to Haggadot.com's collection, use and disclosure of your personal
information in accordance with the Privacy Policy as amended from time to time.
Password Security. You are solely responsible for protecting the security and confidentiality of the password and
identification assigned to you. You shall immediately notify us of any unauthorized use of your password or
identification or any other breach or threatened breach of this website’s security.
Ordering Policies. If you purchase Products, you agree to do so in accordance with Haggadot.com's ordering policies and
instructions on the Site. Your order constitutes an obligation to pay, subject to acceptance by Haggadot.com at our sole
discretion. Your order is accepted by us when we ship the goods to you. An order confirmation does not signify our
acceptance of your order, but merely confirms receipt of your order. We will send you a shipment confirmation once your
order is accepted. Haggadot.com reserves the right to cancel any order prior to delivery at our sole and absolute
discretion, whether or not you have already been charged. If your order is canceled pursuant to this section, and you
have already been charged, Haggadot.com will automatically issue a refund to you. As the products are individually
produced, an approximate availability and delivery time are shown alongside the product description prior to order
completion. The products will be delivered as soon as they are available. The times are estimates only and cannot be
guaranteed. At the latest, delivery will occur within thirty (30) days from acceptance of your order by Haggadot.com.
Please note that Haggadot.com is not able to deliver to all regions worldwide. All prices are subject to the delivery
charges, as well as any applicable taxes, duties, fees, or levies. Haggadot.com reserves the right to change the prices
published on the Services at any time. However, orders already submitted to us will not be affected by such changes.
Title to the Products you purchase passes to you when the Products are delivered to the common carrier.
Create and Buy General Rules and License.
Description. As part of the Haggadot.com Service, Haggadot.com offers a service (the "Create & Buy Service") that allows
you to upload images, video, audio, data, and other content as well as text, files, and works of authorship
(collectively, "Content") to the Site to create, produce, and purchase Products featuring the uploaded Content for your
own use. “Content” also includes without limitation, any Content that you contribute or share with other members through
the Site.
Delivery of Content. You will upload or deliver to Haggadot.com all Content that you want to use with the Create & Buy
Service in accordance with the applicable instructions on the Site. Haggadot.com may, in its sole and exclusive
discretion, determine whether any Content complies with such instructions and is satisfactory for use with the Create &
Buy Service.
Ownership of your Content. You represent and warrant that you own or otherwise possess all necessary rights with respect
to the Content and that the Content does not and will not infringe, misappropriate, use, or disclose without
authorization or otherwise violate any copyright, trademark, trade secret right, or other intellectual property or other
property right of any third party.
Use of Likeness. You consent to the use of your likeness, and you have obtained the written consent, release, and/or
permission of every identifiable individual who appears in the Content to use such individual’s likeness, for purposes
of using and otherwise exploiting the Content in the manner contemplated by these TOS. If any such identifiable
individual is under the age of eighteen (18), you have obtained such written consent, release, and/or permission from
such individual’s parent or guardian. You agree to provide a copy of any such consents, releases, and/or permissions
upon our request.
Licensing Your Content to Haggadot.com. You will retain ownership of the Content that you upload to the Site. You hereby
grant to Haggadot.com a perpetual, irrevocable, fully-paid and royalty-free, worldwide, transferable, nonexclusive,
sublicensable (through multiple tiers) right and license to: (i) use such Content, in all media existing now or created
in the future, as Haggadot.com deems necessary to enable you to use the Create & Buy Service to create, produce, and
purchase Products; (ii) with respect to any Content that you expressly designate as being “public,” to link to, use,
reproduce, create derivative works from, license, sublicense, distribute, print, publicly display, and otherwise utilize
your Content including, without limitation, making your Content available to the Haggadot.com community. Please note
that, while you retain ownership of your Content, any template or layout in which you arrange or organize your Content
through tools and features made available through the Site or the Haggadot.com Service are not proprietary to you, and
the rights to such template or layout are reserved to Haggadot.com.
Licensing Your Content to other Haggadot.com Members. Except for any of your Content that you specify as “private”
during the submission process, you also hereby grant all other members of the Haggadot.com community a non-exclusive,
worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable license to use, copy, publicly display, create derivative works from, and otherwise
communicate and distribute your Content for any purpose on or through the Site or the Haggadot.com Service and/or in the
Haggadot.com member’s own products. You acknowledge and agree that any such Haggadot.com member can exercise the
foregoing rights without further notice, payment, or attribution to you. For avoidance of doubt, any of your Content
that you designate as “public” will not be limited to any restricted purpose and is provided on a non-proprietary and
non-confidential basis and will be generally accessible by other users of the Site and Haggadot.com Service.
Reservation of Rights.
Monitoring. Haggadot.com reserves the right, but does not assume the obligation, to monitor transactions and
communications that occur through the Site. If Haggadot.com determines, in its sole and absolute discretion, that you or
another Haggadot.com user will breach a term or condition of this TOS or that such transaction or communication is
inappropriate, Haggadot.com may cancel such transaction or take any other action to restrict access to or the
availability of any material that may be considered objectionable, without any liability to you or any third party.
Modification of the Service. Haggadot.com reserves the right to modify the organization, structure or "look and feel" of
the Haggadot.com Service or the Site, and may change, suspend, or discontinue any aspect of the Haggadot.com Service at
any time without any liability to you or any third party. Haggadot.com shall have complete discretion over the features,
functions, prices and other terms and conditions on which the Haggadot.com Service is offered to Haggadot.com users.
Submissions.
When you submit questions, comments, suggestions, ideas, message board postings, material submitted via web forms,
contest entries, communications or any other information ("Submissions"), you grant Haggadot.com permission to use such
Submissions for marketing and other promotional purposes, including the right to sublicense. You agree that Haggadot.com
will have no obligation to keep any Submissions confidential. You will not bring a claim against Haggadot.com based on
"moral rights" or the like arising from Haggadot.com's use of a Submission. This Section does not apply to your Content
that you use in connection with the Create & Buy Service. Any personal information you submit is covered by our Privacy
Policy.
You shall not upload, distribute, or otherwise publish through this website any content, information, or other material
that (a) violates or infringes the copyrights, patents, trademarks, trade secrets, or other proprietary rights of any
person; (b) is libelous, threatening, defamatory, obscene, indecent, pornographic, or could give rise to any civil or
criminal liability under U.S. or international law; or (c) includes any bugs, viruses, worms, trap doors, Trojan horses
or other harmful code or properties.
Haggadot.com reserves the right to immediately remove any content it deems offensive, or in violation of these Terms and
Conditions. Haggadot.com also reserves the right to remove a user account, without notice, if the user has been found to
pose a threat to other users or has violated any rule laid out in the Terms and Conditions.
Copyright and Trademark Issues
While we are not obligated to review Content for copyright or trademark infringement, we are committed to protecting
copyrights and trademarks and expect users of our Site and Haggadot.com Services to do the same. The Digital Millennium
Copyright Act of 1998 (the “DMCA”) provides recourse for copyright owners who believe that material appearing on the
internet infringes their rights under U.S. copyright law. If you believe in good faith that any material used or
displayed on or through our Site or the Haggadot.com Services infringes your copyright, you (or your agent) may send us
a notice requesting that the material be removed, or access to it blocked. The notice must include the following
information:
a physical or electronic signature of a person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is
allegedly infringed;
identification of the copyrighted work claimed to have been infringed (or, if multiple copyrighted works are covered by
a single notification, a representative list of such works);
identification of the material that is claimed to be infringing or the subject of infringing activity, and information
reasonably sufficient to allow us to locate the material on our Site and/or the Haggadot.com Services;
the name, address, telephone number and email address (if available) of the complaining party;
a statement that the complaining party has a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained of is
not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law; and
a statement that the information in the notification is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that the complaining
party is authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.
If you believe in good faith that a notice of copyright infringement has been wrongly filed against you, the DMCA
permits you to send us a counter-notice. Notices and counter-notices must meet the then-current statutory requirements
imposed by the DMCA; see http://www.copyright.gov for details. DMCA notices and counter-notices regarding our Site and
the Haggadot.com Services, or notices concerning trademark use in personalized products we make or in our Site and the
Haggadot.com Services, should be sent to:
Haggadot.com
PO Box 385
Saratoga Springs, NY 12866
[email protected]
Upon receipt of a compliant DMCA Takedown Notice, Haggadot.com will investigate the claim, take appropriate action and
serve the notice on our member. If a member submits a DMCA Counter-Notice, Haggadot.com will forward such notice to the
party that submitted the relevant DMCA Takedown Notice and allow the member to repost the disputed content after 10
days, as provided by law. Haggadot.com reserves the right to terminate the account of any member who repeatedly
infringes the copyright rights of others, as determined in Haggadot.com’s sole discretion.
Representations and Warranties.
Mutual Representations and Warranties. You represent and warrant to Haggadot.com and Haggadot.com represents and
warrants to you: (i) that you or it has the full power and authority to enter into and perform under this TOS, (ii) the
execution and performance of your or its obligations under this TOS does not constitute a breach of or conflict with any
other agreement or arrangement by which you or it is bound, and (iii) this TOS is a legal, valid and binding obligation
of the party entering into this TOS, enforceable in accordance with its terms and conditions.
By You. In addition to any other representations and warranties contained in this Agreement, You represent and warrant
to Haggadot.com that, in your use of the Haggadot.com Service, you: (i) will not infringe the copyright, trademark,
patent, trade secret, right of privacy, right of publicity or other legal right of any third party, and (ii) will comply
with all applicable laws, rules, and regulations. You further represent and warrant to Haggadot.com that: (i) there are
no claims, demands or any form of litigation pending, or to the best of your knowledge, threatened with respect to any
of your Content; (ii) Haggadot.com will not be required to make any payments to any third party in connection with its
use of your Content, except for the expenses that Haggadot.com incurs in providing the Haggadot.com Service; (iii) the
use of any instructions, formulae, recommendations, or the like contained in your Content will not cause injury to any
third party; and (iv) your Content does not contain viruses or any other programs or technology designed to disrupt or
damage any software or hardware.
Disclaimers and Exclusions.
DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. Haggadot.com PROVIDES THE SITE AND Haggadot.com SERVICE ON AN "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE"
BASIS. Haggadot.com DOES NOT REPRESENT OR WARRANT THAT THE SITE, Haggadot.com SERVICE OR ITS USE: (i) WILL BE
UNINTERRUPTED, (ii) WILL BE FREE OF INACCURACIES OR ERRORS, (iii) WILL MEET YOUR REQUIREMENTS, OR (iv) WILL OPERATE IN
THE CONFIGURATION OR WITH THE HARDWARE OR SOFTWARE YOU USE. Haggadot.com MAKES NO WARRANTIES OTHER THAN THOSE MADE
EXPRESSLY IN THESE TOS, AND HEREBY DISCLAIMS ANY AND ALL IMPLIED WARRANTIES, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION, IMPLIED
WARRANTIES OF TITLE, ACCURACY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, MERCHANTABILITY, NON-INFRINGEMENT AND ANY WARRANTIES
THAT MAY ARISE FROM A COURSE OF DEALING, COURSE OF PERFORMANCE, OR USAGE OF TRADE.
Limitation of Liability.
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY APPLICABLE LAW, NEITHER Haggadot.com, NOR ANY OF ITS DIRECTORS, OFFICERS,
SHAREHOLDERS, EMPLOYEES, CONTRACTORS, AGENTS, REPRESENTATIVES, OR AFFILIATES (COLLECTIVELY, “THE HAGGADOT PARTIES”)
SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT, PUNITIVE OR SPECIAL DAMAGES (INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION
DAMAGES RELATING TO LOSS OF BUSINESS, LOST PROFITS, LOST DATA, USE, OR LOSS OF GOODWILL) ARISING OUT OF, RELATING TO OR
CONNECTED WITH THE USE OF THE Haggadot.com SERVICE OR THIS TOS, BASED ON ANY CAUSE OF ACTION, OR FROM UNAUTHORIZED
ACCESS TO OR ALTERATION OF YOUR CONTENT OR DATA, EVEN IF A REMEDY SET FORTH HEREIN IS FOUND TO HAVE FAILED ITS ESSENTIAL
PURPOSE AND EVEN IF ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. FURTHERMORE, THE HAGGADOT PARTIES WILL HAVE NO LIABILITY
TO YOU OR TO ANY THIRD PARTY FOR ANY CONTENT UPLOADED. YOUR SOLE AND EXCLUSIVE REMEDY FOR DISSATISFACTION WITH THE SITE
OR THE Haggadot.com SERVICE IS TO STOP USING THE SERVICES. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMISSIBLE BY APPLICABLE LAW, THE
MAXIMUM LIABILITY OF THE HAGGADOT PARTIES SHALL BE THE ACTUAL PRICE PAID THEREFORE BY YOU. NOTE: CERTAIN JURISDICTIONS
MAY NOT ALLOW THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR CERTAIN OTHER TYPES OF DAMAGES, SO SOME OF THE
ABOVE EXCLUSIONS OR LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
Indemnification.
You must indemnify and hold Haggadot.com and its employees, representatives, agents, affiliates, directors, officers,
managers and shareholders (the "Indemnified Parties") harmless from and against any and all claims, causes of action,
liabilities, damages, losses, expenses, and/or. costs (including without limitation, attorneys' fees) that arise
directly or indirectly out of or from: (i) your violation of these TOS or any other agreement or terms of use with us;
(ii) your violation of any representation or warranty contained herein or any applicable law; (iii) your Content; (iv)
your activities in connection with obtaining any products or services from us; or (v) any activity related to access to
or use of your account by you or any other person. The Indemnified Parties shall (a) promptly give you written notice of
the claim; (b) give you sole control of the defense and settlement of the claim against the Indemnified Parties (except
that you may not settle any claim against the Indemnified Parties without the express written consent of the Indemnified
Parties); and (c) give you reasonable assistance, at your expense.
Term and Termination.
Term. This TOS shall remain in full force and effect while you use the Site and Services.
Termination. In its sole discretion, with or without notice to you, Haggadot.com may: (i) suspend, limit your access to
or terminate your use of the Site and/or the Haggadot.com Service; (ii) suspend, limit your access to or terminate your
account; (iii) remove any of your Content from Haggadot.com's servers and directories; and (iv) prohibit you from using
the Haggadot.com Service and/or the Site. Upon termination for any reason, your right to access and/or use the Site
and/or the Haggadot.com Service will immediately cease.
Survival. Notwithstanding Section 12.2 above, this TOS will survive indefinitely unless and until Haggadot.com chooses
to terminate this TOS.
Effect of Termination. If you or Haggadot.com terminates your use of the Site or the Haggadot.com Service, Haggadot.com
may delete any Content or other materials relating to your use of the Haggadot.com Service on Haggadot.com's servers or
otherwise in its possession. Notwithstanding the foregoing, you understand that any Content you expressly designated as
being “Public” and that Haggadot.com or other users of the Site made available in other areas of the Site other than
your user profile (including, without limitation, in another user’s library) may not be deleted. Haggadot.com will have
no liability to you or any third party for any termination of your use of the Site or Service or for any deletion of
your Content or for any Content that was not deleted that remains on the Site.
Notice.
All notices required or permitted to be given under these TOS (other than in connection with Section 7) will be in
writing and delivered to the other party by any of the following methods: (i) U.S. mail, (ii) overnight courier, or
(iii) electronic mail. If you give notice to Haggadot.com, you must use the following addresses: 19 Worth St., Saratoga
Springs, NY 12866 [email protected] & [email protected]. If Haggadot.com provides notice to you, Haggadot.com will use
the contact information provided by you to Haggadot.com. All notices will be deemed received as follows: (i) if by
delivery by U.S. mail, seven (7) business days after dispatch, (ii) if by overnight courier, on the date receipt is
confirmed by such courier service, or (iii) if by electronic mail, 24 hours after the message was sent, if no "system
error" or other notice of non-delivery is generated. If applicable law requires that a given communication be "in
writing," you agree that email communication will satisfy this requirement.
Dispute Resolution.
All disputes arising out of, relating to or connected with these TOS or your use of any part of the Haggadot.com Service
will be exclusively resolved under confidential binding arbitration held in California, before and in accordance with
the Rules of the American Arbitration Association, by a sole arbitrator applying California law (without regard for
conflicts of law principles). The arbitrator's award will be binding and may be entered as a judgment in any court of
competent jurisdiction. Any action to enforce an arbitrator's award will be brought in a federal or state court located
in California. Each party hereby irrevocably submits to the personal jurisdiction of the Federal and California State
courts. Notwithstanding anything to the contrary in this Section Can 14, Haggadot.com may seek equitable relief,
including, without limitation, injunctive relief and specific performance, without the requirement of posting a bond or
other security or proving money damages are insufficient, from a court of competent jurisdiction.
Miscellaneous.
These TOS will be binding upon each party hereto and its successors and permitted assigns, and governed by and construed
in accordance with the laws of the State of California without reference to conflict of law principles. This TOS is not
assignable or transferable by you without the prior written consent of Haggadot.com. This TOS (including all of the
policies and other Agreements described in this TOS, which are incorporated herein by this reference) contain the entire
understanding of the parties regarding its subject matter, and supersedes all prior and contemporaneous agreements and
understandings between the parties regarding its subject matter. No failure or delay by a party in exercising any right,
power or privilege under this TOS will operate as a waiver thereof, nor will any single or partial exercise of any
right, power or privilege preclude any other or further exercise thereof or the exercise of any other such right, power,
or privilege. You and Haggadot.com are independent contractors, and no agency, partnership, joint venture, or
employee-employer relationship is intended or created by this TOS.
THE FOUR SONS
There are four kinds of Sons referred to in the Torah regarding THE PRIMARY
PURPOSE of carrying the message. These are the four personality types in and out of
Recovery to whom we can convey the message.
1. The cleverdik, fiercely intellectual, much too smart for his own good and
terminally unique.
2. The one who thinks he's too wicked for it to work for him.
3. The newcomer, barely coherent, totally beaten and ready.
4. The one who's still out there, who can't stop and desperately wants help.
THE CLEVER ONE SAYS MAH! "WHAT"
He uses the word "What" in the deprecatory was that Moshe used it when he asked: "And
what are we that you rebel against us?"
"So what's the big deal?" asks the cleverdik. "What are these testaments, statutes and
laws that Hashem has commanded you?"
From his use of the word "you" in the question, we can infer his real needs. He's scared.
He is like the arrogant addict who walks into the room, reads the 12 steps and says, "Is
that all you have to do?"
His error is twofold. He thinks he's too clever for such a simple program to work in his
life, and he thinks he can do it on his own.
The Haggadah tells us,
"You should also say to him".
The word "also" seems superfluous. The Hebrew word for also "Af" has another,
emotional, meaning. "Af" means heavy-nasal-breathing-anger. The attitude of the
cleverdik will often infuriate, frustrate and invoke anger in us. We have all been in his
position.
In response the Haggadah warns us to be gentle. The Hebrew word for "SAY", "EMOR"
is the softest, lightest form of address as opposed to "speak" or "tell"....Gently is the only
way to carry the message.
And the Message is All the laws of Pesach including what happens after the seder is over.
We tell him, "You can't do it on your own". Almost the first law of Pesach is that you
require a group. One person can't eat the Paschal lamb; it must be celebrated en masse.
Groups of people whose only requirement is a desire to join may come together in the
Ritual of Sharing.
"If any of them is missing, let the whole group be concerned." says the Mishna... You
cannot bake matzos on your own... You cannot escape from Egypt on your own... So
don't say "You"; say "Us".
Finally we tell him, the reason it works is because we take it with us when we leave here.
Even when the seder is over we don't eat anything else, that the taste of Recovery we
have shared remains with us until we meet again. Therefore we eat no dessert after the
Paschal lamb.
THE WICKED ONE SAYS MAH! "WHAT"
He uses the word "what" Mah in the sense that Yaakov (Jacob) used it when he
exclaimed, "What an awesome place this is".
"What an awesome program this is you work.” says the wicked son.
He thinks everyone in recovery must be adhering to some impossible program of
perfection. (From which he is excluded by virtue of his irredeemability) He also, in an
inverted grandiosity, no less annoying than the cleverdik, considers himself more unique
than anyone else. However bad you think a person might be, he's just worse.
In essence our response is to identify with him. Yes! We too felt that way. In fact we all
felt the same way, unsalvageable and despicable. In those days we thought we were G-D,
so if we couldn't do it who could?
That's why Hashem brought us out, doing for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. We
blunt his argument, we take the bite out of his snarl, we tell him
"Because of this" The seder we're having now. "Hashem did for us". The reason He did
for us was that we might carry the message of Recovery to you, not because we were any
better than you.
"What does he think?” we ask "For us and not for him?" Does he really believe Hashem
would have left him in Egypt? Does he think he's irredeemable? He obviously never met
us before.
In the quote which we put to him,
"Because of this, Hashem did for me when I came out of Egypt".
The word "Did" is ambiguous. The Hebrew for "Did" is "ASA" It means a very earthy
form of creativity like the making of Man himself (e.g., when the word ASA is used in
Nasa Adam, "Let us make man").
It also refers to the final act of creation which is speech. What Hashem "did" for me was
to verbalize all the pain which I could not speak for myself. This, we tell the so-called
wicked son, is what Hashem did for me. He taught me the words with which to express
my feelings.
THE SIMPLE ONE SAYS MAH! "WHAT"
The simple one uses "What" in the sense that Yirmuyahu (Jeremiah) used it when he
lamented, "Remember, Oh G-D, What happened to us?"
"Just what is this?" asks the simple son. He is openminded and willing to listen, to learn.
Why the seder? Why the exodus? Why the slavery?
To him we say: "We were powerless. It was Hashem's strong arm that brought us out of
Egypt, out of slavery".
Admitting powerlessness is our first step. If we won't admit it, we can't get help, you have
to lose to win.
Tam, the Simple one is ready to hear this message, his name implies it. Tam in Hebrew
and all Semitic languages means "The End" an unequivocal finality. He is finished,
beaten, willing and ready.
The Tam actually says "What's this?" Mah Zos. The word Zos "THIS" refers to the
Recovery known in Hebrew as "Teshuva" more commonly translated as "Repentance".
The three elements in the classic description of Teshuva are
Repentance, Prayer and Charity.
These are the building blocks of the 12 steps.
We Confess, Admit, Come to believe.
We become willing, grow humble, make restitution. We Pray and Meditate and we carry
the message. Another description of Teshuva uses words of Cabalistic significance and
Gematraic equivalence.
1. KOL = VOICE = 136
2. T'ZOM = FASTING = 136
3. MAMON = MONEY = 136
4. ZOS = THIS = 408
ZOS is a name for the "Shechina" It refers to the manifestation of Hashem in the world of
man. The dwelling place. The raison d'etre. The Inexplicable meaning of life. Recovery is
the reason for the creation of the universe. Why did Hashem allow life to evolve to the
point where all the symmetries have broken? All the parities are gone? Even the Universe
is no longer evenhanded. Man is the destroyer, so why did Hashem settle upon us?
Look at us in recovery and the answer is self evident. The fixing!
Not the Fix, not the fixation. Repairing, recovering, that's the meaning of life.
When the Simpleton asks his simple question, he is being the most profound and
complex.
MAH ZOS, "What is ZOS?"
THE ONE WHO CAN'T ASK - SH'EYNO YODAYA LISHOL
You must carry the message to the one who can't ask for help.
That is our primary purpose as it is written: " And you shall tell it to your child on that
day, saying: Because of This, Hashem did for me, when I came out of Egypt".
This is exactly what we told the wicked one when he asked his question, the message is
identical: "It works! Look at me, I'm not a slave. I am free. You too can be free.
This is why Hashem brought me all this way, so that I could bring this message to you".
In fact we tell him the Haggadah.
YOCHOIL - I MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT
Since it is written, "You shall tell the Haggadah to your child" I might have thought any
time in the spring around Pesach time is a good opportunity to talk about the miracle of
Recovery. Therefore the Torah states specifically,
"On that day".
So now I know a more specific period. However, I might have thought that day-time,
whilst going about the business of preparing for Yom Tov would be a good opportunity
to say the Haggadah, to talk about Recovery: Whilst we are cleaning the house for
Pesach.
Therefore the Torah states precisely;
"You shall tell the Haggadah to your child, on that day, saying "Because of this Hashem
did for me when I came out of Egypt".
I can only say "Because of this" at the formal seder when the symbols of the Seder,
Matzo and Maror, the symbols of slavery and freedom are clearly visible. We need to
stay in touch with the fundamentals of the program. "We must keep it green". It must not
become some abstract journey we talk about. Let's keep it real and tangible to all our
senses.
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