INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

JERRY

Do you know why they call it Passover? G-d told Moses that the Israelites should mark their doorposts with lamb’s blood. So that He could “pass over” their houses. And spare them from the plague of the killing of the first born. My question is: Who was put in charge of telling everyone? That’s a big job. There’s a lot counting on that job. What if someone isn’t home? How did they tell them? Did they leave a note? Probably not. The Egyptians could see it. Would have ruined the whole plan. Did they just take the liberty of putting lamb’s blood on the door? What about when that family gets home, sees blood all over their door? “Honey, do you see this? Someone put blood on our door. Someone’s out to get us! You better get off the couch and wipe this off.” “I’m busy! Have our first born do it!”

adapted from The Yada Yada Haggadah - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1793219109

Our Passover meal is called a seder, which means “order” in Hebrew, because we go through specific steps as we retell the story of our ancestors’ liberation from slavery. Some people like to begin their seder by reciting or singing the names of the 14 steps—this will help you keep track of how far away the meal is!

The Sorting Hat of Passover

                        You might belong in Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart.  They forge the path for those to come with justice, tzedek, from the start!

You might belong in Hufflepuff where they are just and loyal.  Those patient ‘Puffs are true and unafraid of Middle Eastern turmoil!

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw if you’ve a ready mind.  Where those of wit and learning will always find chevruta in kind.

Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends.  Those cunning folks use any sources to achieve their Talmudic ends.

Though I must fulfill my duty and must divide the table every year; still I wonder whether sorting may not bring the end I fear.  Oh, know the Bible, read the Siddur, the warning with which history is fraught.  For our Seder is in danger from external deadly thought!  And we must stay united or we’ll crumble from within; I have told you, I have warned you, let the Jewish learning begin!

Themes of Social Justice within the Haggadah

Source 1 - Ha Lachma Anya – Pesach Haggadah

הא לחמא עניא די אכלו אבהתנא בארעא דמצרים. כל דכפין ייתי ויכל. כל דצריך ייתי ויפסח. השתא הכא. לשנה הבאה בארעא דישראל. השתא עבדי. לשנה הבאה בני חורין

This is the bread of affliction that our ancestors ate in Egypt. Let all who are hungry come and eat. Let all who are in need come and celebrate Passover. Now we are here. Next year in the land of Israel. Now we are slaves. Next year we will be free.

Questions:

1. What is Bread of Affliction (Lechem Oni)?
2. Is there anything in this passage that does not make sense?

Source 2 - Maarechet Heidenheim

Why does the Haggadah say, "This is the bread of poverty which our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt" instead of "This is the bread of poverty which our ancestors ate when they left Egypt?"

Source 3 - Maarechet Heidenheim

I learned the following explanation from my grandfather, Rabbi Abraham Naphtali Hertz Sheier. The Zohar explains that the verse, "Do not eat of a stingy man's bread," (Proverbs 23:6) applies to Joseph's brothers. The Egyptians were resentful of them because they were invited to eat at Joseph's table during the years of famine. (They were resentful of Joseph and his brothers for not sharing the great wealth of Egypt.) And so, the Egyptians punished them during the exile by feeding them "a stingy man's bread." Another term for this is "lechem oni." We hint at this explanation when we say, "This is like the lechem oni, the miserly bread, which our ancestors at in the land of Egypt." That is, when the tribes were in Egypt at Joseph's table. (The miserliness of Joseph's brothers) caused the Egyptians to feed us lechem oni. Today we eat lechem oni as a reminder of what happened in Egypt. We must repair our ancestors' sin, and show that we do not act in a miserly fashion. By behaving with hospitality and generosity, we show that we are no longer miserly.

Source 4 - Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Pesach Haggadah, pp. 22-25

This is a strange invitation: "This is the bread of oppression our fathers ate in the land of Egypt. Let all who are hungry come in and eat." What hospitality is it to offer the hungry the taste of suffering? In fact, though, this is a profound insight into the nature of slavery and freedom. As noted, matza represents two things: it is the food of slaves, and also the bread eaten by the Israelites as they left Egypt in liberty. What transforms the bread of oppression into the bread of freedom is the willingness to share it with others....

Sharing food is the first act through which slaves become free human beings. One who fears tomorrow does not offer his bread to others. But one who is willing to divide his food with a stranger has already shown himself to be capable of fellowship and faith, the two things from which hope is born. That is why we begin the seder by inviting others to join us. Bread shared is no longer the bread of oppression. Reaching out to others, giving help to the needy and companionship to those who are along, we bring freedom into the world, and with freedom, God.

Source 5 - Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 99b

“Even the poorest person in Israel may not eat until he reclines, and they must not give him less than four cups of wine.”

Source 6 - Babylonian Talmud, Pesachim 115b

Shmuel said that the phrase: “The bread of affliction [leḥem oni]” (Deuteronomy 16:3) means bread over which one answers [onim] matters, i.e., one recites the Haggadah over matza. That was also taught in a baraita: Leḥem oni is bread over which one answers many matters.

Source 7 - Affliction Beyond Hunger
by Jews for Racial and Economic Justice

In our city today, some of our neighbors are forced to work in order to receive their meager welfare benefits, which barely enable them to survive. Tonight we share their bread of affliction:
The affliction of work without dignity
The injustice of no minimum wage
The theft of protection from injury
The anxiety of work with no future
Panic at the threat of lost benefits.
The stress of leaving a child for work
The shame of forced placement
The death of educational opportunity
The robbery of the right to organize
Silenced voices of protest.
Who speaks aloud alongside those whose speech has been muted?
Who breathes together with those who cannot catch their breath?
We can breathe the breath of life, we can join these struggles, we can face the Pharoahs and strip them of their power.

Here is a kid and adult friendly alternative to for the Maggid section (the Passover story section) of the Haggadah. This short play/skit is in the style of "sedra scenes" -- a contemporary take which makes the story current but stays true to the Exodus narrative. I've written it for large crowds -- so there are 13 parts, but if you have a smaller gathering you can easily double up.

LET MY PEOPLE GO!
A short play for the seder

CAST: NARRATOR, JOSEPH, BENJAMIN, PHAROAH, ADVISOR, HEBREW 1, HEBREW 2, HEBREW 3, BOSS, BAT PHAROAH, MOSES, GOD, AARON (13 parts)

NARRATOR: Our story begins in the land of Egypt where Joseph, once a prisoner, is now the Pharaoh’s chief advisor.

JOSEPH: So how are things back in Israel?

BENJAMIN: Oy! Terrible. Our gardens and crops are dying. There is no rain this year. That is why we had to come down to Egypt!

JOSEPH: Well, don’t worry..life in Egypt is fantastic. Playstation 3 in every house, High Definition Television, Lincoln Navigators in the driveway, This is the most powerful nation on the planet!

BENJAMIN: Did you have rain this year? Are the gardens and crops doing well?

JOSEPH: We don’t have to worry about that. I’ve stored away tons of food in giant warehouses. The Pharaoh will be able to feed the people for three years at least, even if we get no rain.

BENJAMIN: What does the Pharaoh think of us Hebrews?

JOSEPH: He loves me. He welcomes the Hebrews into his land. Bring the entire family, we’ll make a great life here.

Narrator: The Hebrews all moved to Egypt and had many children and lived a successful life. But after many years, after Joseph and his brothers had died, a new Pharaoh rose to power.

PHAROAH: Advisor, bring me the latest census report. I want to know all the people who I rule over!

ADVISOR: Yes, you’re Royal Highness. I have the numbers here.

PHAROAH: Let’s see..Nubians, Midians, yes, very good. Are there really that many Hebrews?

ADVISOR: Oh yes, your highness. They are growing in number. They are very strong workers.

PHAROAH: Do you think that might be a danger? Perhaps they will challenge my rule – make demands. You know how these workers are always complaining about the size of the rocks for the new Pyramids. I am worried that they will use their strength in numbers to rise up against me!

ADVISOR: Yes, you are right, we must do something to break their spirits.

PHAROAH: First, let us begin with something small. We’ll get them to make more bricks each day. If that doesn’t work, we’ll eliminate the fifteen-minute breaks. If that doesn’t break them, then maybe we’ll turn to harsher measures.

Narrator: The Hebrew workers struggled to keep up with Pharaoh’s demands.

HEBREW 1: My hands are killing me. And my back, oy! I can’t take this pace.

HEBREW 2: We can make a thousand bricks a day—but two thousand? No team can work that hard! We’ll fall over!

HEBREW 3: Get back to work, the boss is coming!

BOSS: Efficiency, people! We have got to make 900 more bricks by sundown! Come on, let’s work faster!

HEBREW 1: We are working as fast as we can, boss.

BOSS: Listen, smart aleck, I’ve got a lot of pressure on my shoulders. If Pharaoh doesn’t get his bricks, I’m out of a job. I got a family to feed, too, you know. So get back down in the pit and start working!

HEBREW 2: We haven’t had a break all day!

BOSS: And you are not going to get one! Work!

HEBREW 3: You know what, boss; you have become a real pain in the backside!

BOSS: What’d you say?

HEBREW 3: You heard me.

[The BOSS walks over and pushes Hebrew 3 to the ground]

BOSS: Now get back to work before I get really angry!

Narrator: Meanwhile, Pharaoh’s daughter adopted a young Hebrew child. The child, Moses, was raised with the finest Egypt had to offer.

BAT PHAROAH: Here, sweetheart, eat your honey cakes before your flute lesson.

MOSES: I’m so excited about the party this evening.

BAT PHAROAH: Your new robe looks lovely, dear. I just hope that the Pyramid is finished. Your grandfather has the workers working double time just to get the place finished before the great assembly.

MOSES: I heard that the Hebrews were complaining.

BAT PHAROAH: Complaining? Don’t worry about that. We take care of the needs of all our workers, dear. They are fed, given homes, and we give them a new pair of shoes each year. We are very generous. The only problem is that there are simply too many Hebrews. For that reason, we are cutting down their number. I know that it is sad that we have to kill off their baby boys, but we are really doing it for their own good.

MOSES: I know so little about the world. Someday I’d like to go out of the palace and see how they live.

BAT PHAROAH: They are not clean like us, dear. Especially the Hebrews. They throw garbage on the streets, and the smells are truly horrible.

Narrator: One day Moses decides to sneak out of the palace, and see for himself the plight of the Hebrews.

HEBREW 1: I can’t work, today, I’m sick! And I hurt my arm yesterday lifting stones!

BOSS: I don’t want to hear excuses. This pyramid has got to be finished by Thursday! Today is Wednesday! So get moving!

HEBREW 1: I can’t work. Please, listen to me, have some compassion!

HEBREW 2: Give him a break, boss!

BOSS: Shut up!

HEBREW 3: Don’t get involved!

HEBREW 2: I’m tired of this, boss! My cousin there is hurt. He can’t work today. And he’s not working. So go tell Pharaoh that he’ll have to hire some more workers or this isn’t getting done!

BOSS: Shut up!

[Boss pushes Hebrew 2 to the ground.]

HEBREW 1: Stop it!

BOSS: I’m going to hurt you bad, you whiny Hebrew!

HEBREW 3: Stop! One of Pharaoh’s princes is coming!

MOSES: What is happening?

BOSS: I am going to give this man the beating he deserves, your honor! Watch this!

MOSES: No!

[Moses hits the Boss, who falls to the ground]

HEBREW 3: Oh no! What did you do to the boss? We’ll be blamed for this! We’ll be punished!

MOSES: What have I done? What have I done?

Narrator: Moses ran away, far off into the wilderness. Where he is taken in by Yitro, and marries one of Yitro’s daughter’s Zipporah. One day, as Moses is taking care of yitro’s sheep, he stumbles across a burning bush.

GOD: Moses, Moses!

MOSES: Who is that? What is going on? What is happening?

GOD: It is me, the God of your ancestors, Abraham, Issac, and Jacob.

MOSES: You must have the wrong number.

GOD: This is no time for jokes. You must go back to Egypt and stand up to Pharaoh! Then you will lead the people back to their homeland!

MOSES: How will I do that? The people do not know me! I have no power now that I have run away!

GOD: I will be with you. Go to your sister, Miriam, and brother, Aaron, and stand up to Pharaoh!

Narrator: Moses returns to Egypt, with his wife and son, Gershom. Aaron and Moses approach Pharaoh.

PHAROAH: What do you want?

AARON: Our people need a three-day vacation. We need to go outside of the city so that we can pray to God in our own way.

PHAROAH: Why can’t you wait for the festival of the pyramids? Then your people will have a chance to celebrate with everyone.

MOSES: We do not wish to pray to your gods. We have one God, who is mightier than all of your gods.

PHAROAH: You must be joking. The gods have made Egypt a great nation. What has your God done for you?

MOSES: You’ll see what our God can do! And then you’ll give in to our demands!

PHAROAH: Don’t count on it, Hebrew!

Narrator: Pharaoh was a stubborn man. Even after plagues of blood, frogs, lice, disease, hail, and darkness, he would not let the Hebrews take a day off. It wasn’t until a disease struck and killed the first born of every Egyptian, that the Pharaoh changed his mind.

PHAROAH: Don’t you understand what is happening?

ADVISOR: No, your highness, I don’t know why our gods are not protecting us.

PHAROAH: Everything we did to the Hebrews is now happening to us!!!

ADVISOR: Maybe their God is powerful!

PHAROAH: Tell the police that are surrounding their neighborhood to let them go.

Narrator: That night, Moses, spoke to the people.

MOSES: Put on your sandals, we will not have time to bake the bread for tomorrow! Tonight we will leave Egypt, and set out for a new land! Our children, and our children’s children will remember this night! They will tell the story of how we stood up to Pharaoh, and how God helped us to be free!

AARON: Let all who are hungry come and eat!

Narrator: And thus ends our little play.

by Rabbi Micah Streiffer

Star Wars is very Jewish, and you don’t have to take my (or Mel Brooks’) word for it. Here’s some proof:

• The word “Jedi” looks an awful lot like  Yehudi, the Hebrew for “Jewish.”
• Yoda, the most rabbinic of all creatures in the galaxy, has a name that is essentially like the Hebrew word for “knowledge” ( yada ).
• Padawans gather in a training academy to learn ancient traditions that have been passed through the generations. Sounds like Hebrew school to me!
• The Jedi must choose between the Dark Side and the Light Side of the Force. Judaism teaches that we must make choices throughout our lives, led by our  yetzer hatov  and  yetzer hara  – our good inclination and our evil inclination.
• Judaism teaches that there is good in all of us, even when we choose evil. That’s a good thing for Darth Vader, who did  t’shuvah (repentance) by destroying the Empire at the end of his life.

Each year at the Passover seder, we retell the ancient story of our people’s moving from slavery into freedom. In the section of the Haggadah called The Four Children, we are told that we must teach our children this story in different ways, according to their knowledge, maturity, age, and character.

In 2013, I originally wrote a piece titled “The Four Children of  Star Wars ,” which used  Star Wars  characters to illustrate each of the traditional Four Children – but so much has happened in the  Star Wars  universe since then that it is clearly time for a rewrite!

If you will, please return with me to  a galaxy far, far away…

THE WISE CHILD: PRINCESS LEIA 

Wisdom in Judaism is, in part, about opting into community. Princess Leia is, in the end, a visionary who leads from within the midst of the community (unlike her brother Luke, who is more powerful with the Force but chooses isolation and thereby diminishes his influence).

Leia’s power comes from the relationships that she builds, and from her respect for tradition, peace, and goodness.

THE WICKED CHILD: KYLO REN

The medieval sage Maimonides teaches that to be human is to be made up of many tendencies: good and evil, generous and stingy, cruel and merciful ( Mishneh Torah Hilchot, Deot 1:1 ).

Kylo Ren is not wholly evil, his wickedness the result of his feeling like an outsider, and of his longing for recognition and validation. He seeks to satisfy these needs from the wrong powers (i.e. Supreme Leader Snoke and the Emperor) until, ultimately, he is able to turn inward, find the wellspring of his own goodness, and do the right thing.

THE SIMPLE CHILD: FINN

This is the most imperfect of the four designations, because Finn is, in fact, far from simple. He is a brave and thoughtful character who doesn’t get nearly enough attention in the movies. (Hey, J.J. Abrams, are you listening?) Like the Simple Child, though, Finn initially does not make decisions for himself. Having been kidnapped and raised to be a soldier, he knows nothing but the life of a Stormtrooper.

Like the Simple Child in the Haggadah, though, Finn’s determination compels him to ask questions, and it is his questioning – of himself, his role, and the First Order – that allows him to grow. As Finn begins to consider his own values, he removes his helmet and ultimately joins the Resistance.

THE CHILD WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO ASK: REY

The fourth child has not yet begun to ask questions. Like Rey throughout her childhood, the Child Who Does Not Know How to Ask sits silently at the seder table, waiting to be taught.

Rey wants to help; she is good at heart and has a sense of her potential to do good, but she doesn’t know how to begin to get the answers. Instead, she waits on her home world for someone to show up and teach her.

Once the Resistance finds her – and especially once she finds a teacher in Leia – Rey’s potential is unleashed, leading her to become a powerful force for righteousness in the galaxy. Hers is a lesson about the power of education and the importance of ensuring that everyone has access to learning.

Chag Pesach Sameach, happy Passover – and may the Force be with you!

Rabbi Micah Streiffer serves as spiritual leader of Congregation Kol Ami, in Thornhill, ON. His writings, both nonfiction and fiction, have appeared the Times of Israel, The Forward, Jewish Values Online, The Jewish Literary Journal, The Canadian Jewish News, and a number of Reform Jewish publications. He sends special thanks to his son, Noam Streiffer, the family’s primary Star Wars expert, for helping him come up with which character fits each description.

[Image source: GIPHY]

10 Plagues of Egypt- Words and Recording by Emily (Recording)

[MEN] One, two, three, four [

FULL COMPANY] Five, six, seven, eight, nine…

[PHARAOH/MOSES/MIRIAM/AARON] It’s the Ten Plagues of Egypt

[FULL COMPANY] It’s the Ten Plagues of Egypt Number one! [AARON] The nile turns into blood Watch where your feet land, there’s gonna be a red flood

[COMPANY] Number two! [

AARON] Here come frogs, on your bed, on your head

[MOSES] Maybe it’s just one--at least that’s what Rashi said

[COMPANY] Number three!

[AARON] Now your scalp’s gonna itch real bad

[PHARAOH ] The lice are creepy crawlies--

[MOSES] They can make a sane man raving mad

[PHARAOH ] It’s said mayo works, ‘specially overnight

[COMPANY] Too bad this is Egypt, no one’s seen the light Number four!

[AARON] Walking down on the street, there are beasts Crocodiles chomping seeking an Egyptian feast

[MOSES] You better run and hide, you’d best not take your chances

[MIRIAM] Just blame the pharaoh if you aren’t into your circumstances

[COMPANY] Five!

[AARON] Livestock falling dead upon the field

[COMPANY] Once again the pharaoh he just won’t yield Number six!

[MOSES] Pus and blood on your legs and knees Boil bubble squeeze-- Tell the pharaoh “god just stop it please”

[COMPANY] Seven! [

MIRIAM] Let fire rain. Icy orbs of heavenly rage set the stage for the high gear finish.

[COMPANY] Number eight!

[MIRIAM/AARON/MOSES] The last chance to negotiate Send in the locust, see if they can make the pharaoh break…

[PHARAOH ] Holy Moses

[MOSES] Pharaoh Rameses

[PHARAOH ] Did you really have to send a bout of cattle disease?

[HAMILTON] Please Our god isn’t going to be so eas’ly appeased

[PHARAOH ] What’s next? An army of enchanted killer trees?

[MOSES] Hang on, how many times have I said you just have to let us go free first?

[PHARAOH ] Okay, bring your worst

[COMPANY] Number nine!

[MOSES] Look up at the sky, take a breath, Darkness brings more chaos than god of disorder Seth

[MEN] One two three four

[FULL COMPANY] Five six seven eight nine

[MOSES/PHARAOH ] Number

[COMPANY] Ten-- first born

[MOSES/PHARAOH ] Death!

What is a Miriam’s Cup?

A Miriam’s Cup is a new ritual object that is placed on the seder table beside the Cup of Elijah. Miriam’s Cup is filled with water. It serves as a symbol of Miriam’s Well, which was the source of water for the Israelites in the desert. Putting a Miriam’s Cup on your table is a way of making your seder more inclusive.

It is also a way of drawing attention to the importance of Miriam and the other women of the Exodus story, women who have sometimes been overlooked but about whom our tradition says, "If it wasn’t for the righteousness of women of that generation we would not have been redeemed from Egypt" (Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 9b).

There are many legends about Miriam’s well. It is said to have been a magical source of water that followed the Israelites for 40 years because of the merit of Miriam. The waters of this well were said to be healing and sustaining. Thus Miriam’s Cup is a symbol of all that sustains us through our own journeys, while Elijah’s Cup is a symbol of a future Messianic time.

This is the Cup of Miriam, the cup of living waters. Let us remember the Exodus from Egypt. These are the living waters, God’s gift to Miriam, which gave new life to Israel as we struggled with ourselves in the wilderness. Blessed are You God, Who brings us from the narrows into the wilderness, sustains us with endless possibilities, and enables us to reach a new place."

Miriam's cup should be passed around the table allowing each participant to pour a little water form their glass into Miriam's cup.  This symbolizes the support of notable Jewish women throughout our history which are often not spoken about during our times of remembrance. 

Don't worry, my fellow Hobbits...we're getting closer to the actual meal...we'll get you a little sandwich soon, so stay tuned! (And if we're up late enough, you'll get first breakfast right after we finish dinner.)

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Like Thor, it's time for us to drink another cup! He's got coffee — takes a lot of caffeine to deal with Asgardians, especially his brother, Loki —but we'll take fruit of the vine in our glasses, as is our custom.

[Image Source: GIPHY]

You've made it to the end of the Seder. No more training do you require; already know you that which you require. Yoda always said it best (even if often convolutedly). The Seder may have seemed, at points, to last 900 years, but when 900 years you reach, look as good you may not. Hopefully you've felt the flow of the force that follows the story of the Exodus, an event that has great historical and cultural significance, but also serves as a potent metaphor in modern times, encouraging us to move out of the narrow places and to seek freedom.

From here on, it's all Ewoks dancing and singing ("Yub Nub!"), so bang those drums and hug your loved ones, and remember the journey we took to get here.   

[Image Source: GIPHY]