Jess Honovich is a playwright, screenwriter and educator from Southern New Jersey. When she’s not writing, Jess is a proud public school Pre-K teacher.

Imagine you’re helping your friend move into a new home and they suddenly throw you a very heavy box. You’re probably a bit frustrated with your friend, not to mention the anxiety sweats you’re now fighting off in an attempt to hold that box without dropping it. Now imagine if that same person instead pointed to the box and said “Can you carry this for me?” 1) You have autonomy— you don’t have to say yes! But you volunteered to help your friend move, so you probably will. 2) The strategy you use to pick up and carry the box now will be more comfortable for your body. 3) When it’s your turn to move a few months later, you might adopt this same strategy, asking your friends which of your items they’re most comfortable moving around.

This is the essence of all responsible teaching.

Young people have hundreds of ways of speaking, learning, thinking, doing, posing questions, exploring curiosity, and articulating all of this to you. On this holiday dedicated to storytelling, in this piece where we consider how young people may reach for knowledge, it is our responsibility to provide space for all questions without judgement. We must create an open forum for them to ask absolutely any question they have. There is no wise child, wicked child, or simple child (also—if there is a kiddo at the table who is too young to ask a question…why are they at the table? Should they be? Are their needs being met? Just double checking!)

Let’s “flip the switch,” as they say. There is no wrong way to ask a question. There is a wrong way to invite the questions being asked.

THE FOUR TEACHERS
The wise teacher might ask: “I’m curious to know what you’re thinking about. What would you like to know about what we’re doing here?” This teacher will take a moment to provide an open forum for anyone, kid or not, to ask anything about the seder, the customs, the story we tell, etc. This teacher will also make space for anyone to answer, because no one person has all the knowledge. This teacher will create a dialogue with everyone at the table.

The wicked teacher might ask: “I bet you don’t want to be here right now.” They’ll dismissively pierce the air with judgmental words. They’ll pigeonhole people without thought. This teacher will say something unkind that will, in turn, gaslight the curious minds at the table into believing that they are wicked for sitting a certain way, asking a certain question, not asking a certain question, etc. This teacher is dismissive. This teacher is none of you.

The simple teacher might ask: “So what’s up?” This teacher isn’t too specific, but they’re making space for conversation. We make space for opportunity to arise. We weed a garden for flowers to grow.

The teacher who doesn’t know how to pose a question: can begin by asking a question they have.

So let’s begin! I’m curious to know what you’re thinking about.


haggadah Section: -- Four Children
Source: Jess Honovich