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The Four Children
Contributed by Shayne Cytrynbaum

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023

As we tell the story, we think about it from all angles. Our tradition speaks of four different types of children who might react differently to the Passover seder. It is our job to make our story accessible to all the members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of child:

The Wise Child asks,  What are the testimonies and laws which God commanded you?

You must teach this child the rules of observing the holiday of Passover. 

This child is curious. Clearly they already know the basic story, and so they want to learn as much as they can about Pesach. This child feels connected to Judaism through our traditions, observances, laws, and history as a people, and so we should nurture their interest by teaching them all we can about our history and traditions as a people.

The Wicked Child asks,  What does this service mean to you?

The traditional explanation for why this child is considered wicked is that this child says "to you" instead of "to us", thereby excluding themself from the Jewish experience. However, if you look at the Hebrew, the "Wise Child" and the "Wicked Child" both actually say "to you". 

So then what is the difference? Originally, the "Wicked Child" was considered wicked for not mentioning God in their question, but nowadays most of us would agree that this is a pretty silly reason to call someone wicked.

The "Wicked Child" is not really wicked. This child is simply more concerned with our views as individuals, rather than the traditional views, asking about what this service means to each of us as opposed to asking about the traditions and laws of the Seder.

The Simple Son asks,  What is this?

To this child, answer plainly: “With a strong hand God took us out of Egypt, where we were slaves.”

This child's question may seem simple, but this question is actually just as important and thoughtful as the other sons. The Third Child is trying to find the root idea, the moral of the story, for the Passover Seder, rather than just focusing on the rituals or the symbolism.

The Fourth Child does not know how to ask a question, so instead we must take initiative and start teaching him ourselves.

We must be assertive and start teaching them the story of Pesach and about who we are as Jews, as otherwise they would never learn on his own. We must say, “It is because of what God did for me in taking me out of Egypt.”

Nowadays, this child also represents those who do not care enough to ask. For those who feel so disconnected from Judaism that they couldn't care less, it is our job to remind them of who they are as Jews and what being Jewish really means.

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So which child is the best? 

The "Wise Child", the "Wicked Child", and the "Simple Child" are all equally good in my opinion. The first child is an intellectual, wanting to learn as much as possible about the Jewish traditions and laws and history. The second child is an individualist, caring about how Judaism relates to each and every one of us. And the third child is the most deep, asking about the true, deep meaning of the Passover Seder. Each is special in their own right, and they each connect to a different part of Judaism and the Passove Seder.

So then which child is the worst?

The worst child is the Fifth Child, the Child Who Does Not Show Up to the Seder. While all the other children can connect to the Pesach Seder in their own way, this child is close-minded and does not think that there is anything they can relate to in the Seder. Even the Fourth Child shows up, showing that even though they may be somewhat indifferent to the story, at least they understand the importance of the Seder to their community. 

Now let's all share which child we each relate to the most!
haggadah Section: -- Four Children

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