The Four Children of Zoom

The Four Children according to Zoom

The Torah speaks of four types of children who use zoom: The wise, the wicked, the simple, and the one who does not know how to mute.

The wise one says "I'll handle the admin feature controls and chat room, and forward the cloud recording transcript after the Seder."

The wicked one says "Since I have unlimited duration, I scheduled the Seder for 6 hours. As it says in the Haggadah, whoever prolongs the telling of the story is praiseworthy."

The simple one says "Hello am I on?  I can see you but I can't hear you." 

The one who does not know how to mute says "How should I know where you put your keys?  I'm stuck in this zoom Seder with these idiots."  

To the wise person, you should offer all the Zoom optional add-in plans.

To the wicked person, you should say "had you been in charge we would still be in Egypt."

To the simple person, you should say "Try the call in number instead."

To the one who does not know how to mute, you should say "Why should this night be different from all other nights?"  


haggadah Section: -- Four Children