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The Four Children of Covid-19
Contributed by Andrew Silow-Carroll

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023

The Four Children Of COVID-19

By Janine Jankovitz Pastor

The Four Children of COVID-19: The One Who Hoards, The One Who Yells, The One Who Remains on the Couch, and The One Who Organizes.

The One Who Hoards

We began to witness last week the actions of The One Who Hoards, both within ourselves and others. Panic and the fear of scarcity causes us to push our most rational thoughts aside and grab three more 24 packs of toilet paper before a snow storm or four gallons of milk before a hurricane, even though that amount is more than a typical month’s supply of what we would need.

One response to The One Who Hoards is to ask – with  hesed ! – What is the worst case scenario? If I have to self isolate, what will be the first thing I will need? What do I usually need within the span of one week? What can I do without? Is this an item others may need more than I do? 

But, you should absolutely still buy the oreos.

The One Who Yells

From the angle of crisis response and fear, The Wicked Child could be reimagined as The One Who Yells. The One Who Yells is  not wicked, rather their coping mechanisms are limited at best. The One Who Yells responds to difficulty with anger and a lack of patience. The One Who Yells lacks trust in others. The One Who Yells says, What about me? What about my safety? 

One response to The One Who Yells is to say, We are in this together. We are all suffering. We are all scared. We can rely on each other. Also, lower your voice, you’re giving me a headache.

The One Who Remains On The Couch

What does a pandemic look like in a time when everything we could want to entertain us and distract us from reality is available to stream from home? It hopefully means staying home and staying safe, but it also probably means a lot of time on the couch tuning out.

One thing I’ve learned from attending the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, a rabbinical school invested in a trauma-informed rabbinate, is that there are three ways people try to survive: fight, flight, and freeze. To respond to fear with a feeling of numbness is in itself a real response, not an avoidance of reality. Sometimes it can all be too much and we can’t take action just yet. Sometimes we need space and quiet to breathe and figure out what we need.

One way we can respond to The One Who Remains On The Couch is to say, I feel overwhelmed, maybe you do too? I’m here if you want to talk about it. Also, a shower might do everyone some good.

The One Who Organizes

The One Who Organizes sees the systems of oppression in society that are and will continue to be exacerbated by a global pandemic. One way some handle the anxiety of crisis with action and The One Who Organizes responds at full throttle. Here The One Who Organizes jumps in with washed hands and their sleeves rolled up, ready to work for the ultimate good. The One Who Organizes says, We must call our representatives! We must protest! The One Who Organizes has just sent you another email with petitions to sign.

We need to incorporate all of the responses to survive by buying goods for ourselves and sharing them with others; by allowing ourselves to get angry and letting anger activate us towards action; we need to stay home in order to keep others safe and let ourselves breathe; and we need to organize. This Passover, let’s treat ourselves and others with more love and curiosity, and less judgement. We are all trying to survive. We will get through this together and a little understanding and humor can go a long way.

Janine Jankovitz Pastor is a writer in Philadelphia. She will be ordained as a rabbi this June from the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College.

haggadah Section: -- Four Children

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