There are four types of children living through the COVID 19 pandemic - the wise child, the wicked child, the simple child and the child who is unable to ask a question.

The wise child says “Let me explain my predictions about how many people will be infected with COVID 19 in 6 months time using complex exponential equations and the latest political announcements about social distancing policies”. The wise child should be gently reminded that nobody apart from him/her had much interest in maths or politics before the outbreak of COVID 19 and that society’s collective sense of pending doom isn’t making anybody feel more excited about it.

The wicked child says “I will survive COVID 19 because I am young and have no underlying health conditions so I will openly flout social distancing policies and never bother to wash my hands.” The wicked child should be told firmly “from most people I’m self-isolating for public health reasons but from you I’m self-isolating because you’re intolerable”.

The simple child says “I will respond to a pandemic started by a single person in China and spreading quickly to every corner of the globe due to the interconnected nature of today’s world by buying all the hand sanitiser and facemasks for myself.” To the simple child it should be explained that if health workers contract COVID 19 due to lack of access to protective equipment then they will be nobody to take care of the rest of us.

The child who is unable to ask a question is watching Netflix reruns and should be left alone to tune out of the pandemic for a brief period of precious distraction.


haggadah Section: -- Four Children