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The Four Children
Contributed by Erin Dreyfuss

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023

We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt, but God took us out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. Had God not taken our ancestors out of Egypt, then we, our children, and our children's children would have remained slaves.

We are commanded to recount the story of the Exodus in every generation. We all learn in different ways and approach the story with our own perspectives. The haggadah presents four children, representing four different ways we all might approach this night and how we might learn best.

The Wise Child asks "What are all the customs and rules that God has given us for celebrating Passover?" The Wise Child wants to know all the details of everything we do and say at the seder to understand why. We can explain how each of the seder's rules, customs, foods, and songs helps us tell the Passover story.

What makes the Wise Child wise?

The Wicked/Rebellious Child asks "What does all this mean to you?" By saying "to you" and not "to us," the Wicked Child lets us know that they feel like an outsider at the seder. By excluding themselves and God from the question, this child would not have been redeemed in Egypt. And yet, the child is at the seder and participating. We invite this child to listen closely and become part of our traditions, explaining that the Jews in Egypt had to choose to be free all together as a community. If you did not choose to join, you would stay stuck in slavery.

In what ways do you feel left out of community? In what ways do you feel welcomed and included? What communities do you choose to join and why?

The Simple Child asks "What's going on?" The Simple Child sees that tonight is different, but doesn't understand what we are doing or why. We can explain the reason for the seder simply: that God took the Jewish slaves out of Egypt with great miracles. We hope by observing the seder year after year, this child will come to appreciate the message of Passover.

Is the Simple Child innocent or indifferent?

The Child Who Does Not Know How to Ask/The Quiet Child is listening and thinking, but not speaking or asking. We can explain, even without being asked, that we celebrate Passover because God freed us from slavery. Listening and thinking are a form of participation and should be encouraged.

In what way(s) do you learn best? Through reading and discussion? Visually? Through song? Through quiet contemplation?

Some rabbis remind us that there is also a fifth child: The one who is not at this table. This is the person who should be with us, but is not, and we mark their absence. (Barry Louis Polisar)
haggadah Section: -- Four Children

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