We now think about the story from all angles. Our tradition speaks of four different types of children react differently to the Passover seder. It is our job to make our story accessible to all the members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of child:

The wise child asks,   What are the testimonies and laws which God commanded you?

We should read this child the entire book of Exodus, reciting every single statute and law, such as "Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk". When we are finally done, everybody will be tired, and we can get back to watching Tiger King on netflix. 

The wicked child asks,   So it is okay to cook an older goat in its mother's milk? That is ridiculous! To hell with your ritual, and to hell with you!"

The wicked child stays far removed from suffering, and thus has lost the essence of the teachings. You might tell this child: “If you had been in Egypt, they wouldn't have even let you build the payrmids because you are so incompetent. But it's okay, you can live off of your Bar Mitzvah money for a few years after your 4-year degree from zoom university." Then give the child a very fatty slice of brisket. 

The simple child asks,   What is this?

To this child, answer plainly: “With a strong hand God took us out of Egypt, where we were slaves.” Then the simple child might then say, "No, I meant what is this crawling on the Seder plate?". This is an opportunity to have a group discussion about the importance of thoroughly washing the shank bone.

What about the child who doesn’t know how to ask a question?

We explain to this child that the secret is to take a declarative sentence, then simply reverse the order of the subject and verb.

I am chopped liver.
What am I, chopped liver?

 


haggadah Section: -- Four Children