We now think about the story from all angles. Our tradition speaks of how four different types of morons react differently to the Passover seder. It is our job to make our story accessible to all the members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of moron:

The wise moron asks,   What are the testimonies and laws which God commanded you?

We should read this moron the entire book of Exodus, reciting every single statute and law, such as "Do not cook a young goat in its mother's milk". When we are finally done, everybody will be tired, and the moron will be asleep not listening. Becuase although this moron tried to be wise, this moron is real just a smart-ass. 

The wicked moron asks,   So it is okay to cook an older goat in its mother's milk? That's fucking stupid! To hell with your ritual, and to hell with you!"

The wicked moron is far removed from suffering, and thus has lost the essence of the teachings. This moron usually revieves a new iPhone every year, despite having a perfectly good one. You might ask say to this moron: “If you had been in Egypt, would you have been redeemed? No, you'd die becuase you're an idiot." Then give the moron a very fatty slice of brisket. 

The simple moron asks,   What is this?

To this moron, answer plainly: “With a strong hand God took us out of Egypt, where we were slaves.” Then the simple moron might then say, "No, I meant what is this crawling on the Seder plate?". This is an opportunity to have a group discussion about the importance of thoroughly washing the shank bone.

What about the moron who doesn’t know how to ask a question?

We explain to this moron that the secret is to take a declarative sentence, then simply reverse the order of the subject and verb.

I am chopped liver.

What am I, chopped liver?

The start telling the story:

“The story tells us that our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate; our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most fightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and favulous? Actually, who are you not to be? As we let our own light shine, we give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence liberates others."


haggadah Section: -- Four Children