Seder Play

SLAVE,  NO MORE!

(Written by Dara Barlin with some help from Rabbi Daniel Brenner)

Roles:

GOD                            

MIRIAM                    

PRINCESS               

MOSES         

AUNT IDA              

PHAROH                 

ADVISOR                

HEBREW 1             

HEBREW 2             

BOSS                       

BODYGUARD       

Prop list:

Baby in a basket

Umbrella lined in aluminum foil

Glo Sticks

Burning Bush lights

Staff

Stage hands:

Fog machine   

Baby holder  

Fire-starters (or light starters)

Lights on/off

           ACT I:

(Fog machine starts as the Princess takes the stage. Princess begins bathing herself in the water and humming a song.) 

MIRIAM

It all started while the Princess of Egypt was taking a bath in the river.  This was a typical routine for the Princess, but on this day, something extraordinary happened.

(A stagehand floats a baby in a basket down the river to the princess making swish sounds.)

PRINCESS

What the fuck?! Is that a baby?!!? Who puts a baby in a basket and then floats them down a river?  That’s like, some Maury Povich shit right there. 

(Opens the zipper a tiny bit so the baby’s head pops out.)

Well, let me not judge… but what shall we do with this tiny, adorable creature? 

Maybe he is a sign from the Gods, and I should keep him! Yes, yes! That is what we will do! We shall keep the baby! And we shall name him… Moses. 

(She rocks the baby for a bit, then they both exit the stage area.  The babyholder takes the baby. Immediately afterward, a young Moses takes the stage.  And HEBREW 1 and HEBREW 2 begin putting bricks together stage right. Making grunting noises.)

 MIRIAM (From Off Stage)

As Moses was growing up, he noticed that their country was very rich, and prospering off the backs of the Jewish slaves – also known as Hebrews.  He was curious about this and began to ask questions…

MOSES

Mom, these people who work for us. Why do we not pay them?

PRINCESS

Oh, sweet Moses, we do pay them. We give them good housing and food, and we let them be among royalty.  They are lucky to be in our care.

MOSES

But Mom, they seem to be getting ill at alarming rates. And there is very little joy in their hearts. Is there any way we can figure out how to provide them with payment or extra care so that they may enjoy their time on this Earth?

PRINCESS

HA! Hahahahah!  Oh, Moses. You are so naïve.  WE are the royalty.  We were meant to enjoy the spoils of this lifetime.  There is simply not enough resources for everyone to prosper.  If we paid all of the Hebrews, we would ourselves become poor. We would have to beg for food, and shelter and watch our family members perish because we did not have the medicine to cure them.   You do not want that type of life, now do you Moses? You do not want me to perish, do you?

AUNT IDA

Are we sure the Princess is not Jewish, cause she seems to be pretty good at playing that guilt card. (to audience) Am I right?

MOSES

No mother. Of course not.

PRINCESS

Then hush your words.  And go find yourself something to do. 

(Princess exits and a frustrated YOUNG MOSES leave the stage.)

MIRIAM

YOUNG MOSES did not speak much about the Hebrews again.  But his frustration about the way the Jewish people were treated grew inside. In the meantime, the King of Egypt that rose to power faced a dilemma that is going to get pretty hairy. So to help you cope with the drama, I will ask that you pour yourself your second glass of wine or just refill your cup and say outloud to the people at your table the Hebrew word you use to make a toast…   Lechaim! 

AUNT IDA

If you accidentally spit on someone while making that weird sound, that’s OK! It’s part of being Jewish. So is the fact that the person you spit on will likely complain about it the whole way home. Very Jewish. Lachaim!

(Enter the Pharoh and Advisor to the stage.)

PHAROH

Advisor, bring me the latest census report. I want to know all the people who I rule over!

ADVISOR

Yes, you’re Royal Highness. I have the numbers here.


PHAROH

Let’s see..Nubians, Midians, yes, very good. Are there really that many Hebrews?

ADVISOR

Oh yes, your highness. They are growing in number. They are very strong workers.

PHAROH

Do you think that might be a danger? Perhaps they will challenge my rule – make demands. You know how these workers are always complaining about the size of the rocks for the new Pyramids. I am worried that they will use their strength in numbers to rise up against me!

ADVISOR

Yes, you are right, we must do something to break their spirits.

PHAROH

First, let us begin with something small. We’ll get them to make more bricks each day. If that doesn’t work, we’ll eliminate the fifteen-minute breaks. If that doesn’t break them, then maybe we’ll turn to harsher measures.

(Exit Pharo and Advisor. Hebrew 1 and 2 are on the side of the house, still putting the bricks in order.) 

MIRIAM

The Hebrew workers struggled to keep up with Pharaoh’s demands.

HEBREW 1

My hands are killing me. And my back, oy! I can’t take this pace.

HEBREW 2

We can make a thousand bricks a day—but two thousand? No team can work that hard! We’ll fall over!

HEBREW 1

Get back to work, the boss is coming!

BOSS

Efficiency, people! We have got to make 900 more bricks by sundown! Come on, let’s work faster!

HEBREW 1

We are working as fast as we can, boss. 

BOSS

Listen, smart aleck, I’ve got a lot of pressure on my shoulders. If Pharaoh doesn’t get his bricks, I’m out of a job. I got a family to feed, too, you know. So get back down in the pit and start working!

HEBREW 2

We haven’t had a break all day!

BOSS

And you are not going to get one! Work!

HEBREW 1

You know what, boss; you have become a real pain in the ass!

BOSS

What’d you say?

HEBREW 2

You heard me.

[The BOSS walks over and pushes Hebrew 2 to the ground]

BOSS

Now get back to work before I get really angry!

(Hebrew 1 walks up to the BOSS and pushes him back.)

BOSS

I’m going to hurt you for that, you unhinged rat!


HEBREW 2

Stop! One of Pharaoh’s princes is coming!


YOUNG MOSES

What is happening?


BOSS:

I am going to give this person the beating they deserve, your honor! Watch this!

(The boss fake slaps Hebrew 1 square in the face. As he goes to hit him again Moses steps in. )

MOSES

STOP! STOP IT! 

[Moses grabs the Boss, and there is an epic struggle that takes them to the stage.  Moses hits the Boss and the Boss falls to the ground.]

HEBREW 1

Oh no! What did you do to the boss? We’ll be blamed for this! We’ll be punished!

MOSES

Oh no, you are right.  What have I done? What have I done?

(Turn Fog machine on! YOUNG MOSES runs away.)

MIRIAM

In his moment of devastation Moses flees… he leaves the land and his family behind.

And this concludes Act 1 of the Immersive Theater Experience of the Exodus. Please refill your glass of wine and return to your Haggadah.


haggadah Section: Maggid - Beginning