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Ten Plagues of Fran Lebowitz
Contributed by Veronica Ades

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023
  1. I dry-clean as infrequently as possible—not only because it's psychotically expensive, but also because who knows what it does to the clothes? Dry…clean. These words don't go together. Wet clean—that is how you clean. I can't even imagine the things they do at the drycleaner. I don't want to know. 
  2. In the '60s I never wore bellbottoms. I thought they were ridiculous. It's a horrible line. I never wore tie-dye, either. If it comes from the '60s I never wore it.
  3. The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And for whatever reason, they keep getting revived. They've come back four times. I wish we could let them die. They want to die. They were horrible then, they're horrible now.
  4. What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder? It's their job to innovate. That's the entire point. It's why they're here. But I feel like they're not holding up their end. I think someone my age should look at what young people are wearing and think, 'What the hell is that?' Instead I'm totally bored. 
  5. More people should be dressing like we dress in New York anyway. Not everyone in New York looks great, but you have a higher chance.
  6. I have to say that one of the biggest changes in my lifetime, is the phenomenon of men wearing shorts. Men never wore shorts when I was young. There are few things I would rather see less, to tell you the truth. I'd just as soon see someone coming toward me with a hand grenade. This is one of the worst changes, by far. It's disgusting. To have to sit next to grown men on the subway in the summer, and they're wearing shorts? It's repulsive. They look ridiculous, like children, and I can't take them seriously.
  7. The trademark of New York City fashion used to be that we dressed more seriously here. More formally. Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??
  8. More people should wear overcoats than those damned down jackets. Please. Are you skiing, or are you walking across the street? If you're not an arctic explorer, dress like a human being.
  9. All these clothes that you see people wearing, the yoga clothes—even men wear them!—it's just another way of being in pajamas. You need more natural beauty to get away with things like that...So if you're naturally beautiful, wear what you want, but that's .01% of people. Most people just aren't good looking enough to wear what they have on. They should change. They should get some slacks and a nice overcoat.For instance: remember when the style was incredibly messy hair? That's great if you're a model. But if you're not a model, you would look better if you washed your hair, because you are not beautiful.
  10. I think it's hilarious that so many people think they look fantastic, because they're wearing clothes that you should only wear if you look fantastic. If you walked around New York you would think there was a terrible mirror famine. There might be drought here, a wheat famine there, but in New York you have a mirror famine. Because everything people wear, you have to assume they bought it.Where was the mirror? I sometimes feel like handing out citations.
  11. Drag queens know how to wear clothes. Can you imagine if women tried as hard as drag queens? We'd be a much more attractive culture. I wouldn't have to give out so many yoga pants citations.
haggadah Section: -- Ten Plagues
Source: http://www.elle.com/fashion/personal-style/interviews/a27447/fran-lebowitz-style-interview/?fb_ref=Default

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