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Passover Seder

Reporter: Here we are reporting live from a Passover Seder. Some of you may be asking…..and I’ll be telling…What is a Passover Seder? My sources tell me that we will even be visited by people from the past. Here though, is a certified expert to tell you about the Seder.

Expert: Well, actually if we get out Seder underway you will find out because the very first thing we do is preview the whole thing! Hit it everyone.

ORDER OF SEDER

Reporter: Today is (insert date). Just an ordinary day.

Expert: Oh, but not really. Today is a special day for Jewish people all over the world. It is the first day of Passover and on the first day of each holiday we say Kiddush over wine and shehecheyanu to thank God for bringing us to this exact day!

KIDDUSH AND SHEHECHEYANU

Reporter: Ok, one cup of wine down, three more to go, right?

Expert: Patience, Patience. We’ve just started and the night is young. Buy you know you are right. We drink 4 cups of wine, eat lots of food, pray and sing.

Reporter: Food? You mean like that parsley over there? But noone actually eats parstey, it’s just a decoration.

Parsley: Excuse me, slicha, but I wait all year for Passover. Because not only do people eat me, but I am front and center on the Seder plate. I represent spring and how nature comes to life again after the cold and long winter.

Salt Water: Yeah, but first you have to come and swim in my waters, baby! My waters are like the tears of the Israelites when they were slaves in Egypt. And speaking of water, haven’t you all forgotten to wash your hands?

WASH HANDS – NO BLESSING. EAT GREEN VEGGIE.

Matzah: Help, Help!

Reporter: Quick, someone is crying out for help! (picks up matzah cover) Look, it’s coming from in here!

Matzah: Yea, in here! Someone’s cracked up in here and they need to get out! It’s the middle matzah and I think he is a little claustrophobic! (takes out middle matzah and breaks for afikoman). Let me explain this myself! (reads ha lachma anya in Hebrew and English)

Reporter: I have a question.

Youngest person at seder: Well, I have 4 questions. (reads 4 questions)

Reporter: Good questions, maybe you should have my job! But where will we find the answers?

Moshe: Ahem.

Reporter: Yes, can I help you old man?

Moses: I am not old, only about 4000 years or so. And the question is can I help you? You see I know all the answers because I was there.

Moses sings:

Oh, once there was a wicked, wicked man

And Pharoah was his name, Sir.

He made the Jews work very hard

All night and all day, Sir.

CHORUS (EVERYONE):

Oh, Moses, please set us free (3x)

A Jewish Nation we will be!

Moses:

Now the Jews cried out to God

To free them from this labor

To punish Pharoah and his friends

For their bad behavior

CHORUS (EVERYONE)

Moses:

Not God sent me to do the work

To let our people go

He spoke to Pharoah loud and clear

But still he answered no!

CHORUS (EVERYONE)

Reporter: Wow, I didn’t know all that. I’ll have to be sure and teach it to my 4 kids!

All sing (to the tune of Jacob and sons);

Way, way back many centuries ago,

Not long after the Haggadah began,

There were 4 kids in the land of Canaan

Born to a Jewish family man

CHORUS:

A wise child and a difficult one,

One who was simple and one who was young (x2)

The wise one asked about all the mitzvoth

To find out the meaning of what Moses’ wrote

His dad told him all about the laws and customs

That God commanded us to do in Shmot

CHORUS

The difficult one was next in line

She asked “what business is this of mine?”

She was told because God had saved us

And if she was there, she’d think it was fine

CHORUS

The simple son simply said “what is this?”

I don’t understand, it’s the point I miss

Because God freed us with a mighty hand

With miracles that make up a very long list

CHORUS

The young one was last but she didn’t talk

Should couldn’t ask a question, could barely walk

To her we explain that the Seder we do

Is part of thanking God for being a Jew

CHORUS

Moses: Hold it, Hold it. Stop singing for just a second. Who are these 4 kids anyway. They weren’t with me in Egypt. If they were, they would already know all of this stuff. It’s a good thing you go over it at Seder every year.

Jew #1: This is true (Cover matza and raise Kiddush cup). As it says in the Haggadah:

READ V’HI SHE’AMDA IN HEBREW AND ENGLISH.

(put down cup and uncover matza)

Moses: zzzzz, wandering Aramean, zzzzz

Reporter: Moses, wake up! You dozed off and were mumbling about a wandering Aramean.

Moses: I was? I was just remembering some of the verses of the Torah that I wrote down. Funny, but I was thinking just about ones that talked about the Exodus from Egypt.

Jew #2: But what’s a wandering Aramean?

Moses: Lavan, Jacob’s father is called a wandering Aramean. But that’s not the important verses I was thinking of…the ones I was thinking of were….

Devarim Reader: “The Aramean sought to destroy my father; and he went down to Egypt and lived there, few in number; and he became there a great nation – great and mighty and numerous”

“The Egyptians were evil toward us and they oppressed us, and they imposed hard labor upon us.”

“And we cried out to the Lord, the God of our ancestors, and the Lord heard our voice and saw our suffering, our labor and oppression.”

“And the Lord took us out of Egypt with a strong hand and an outstretched arm, and with great awe and with signs and wonders.”

Frog: Ribbit, Ribbit

Cow: Moo, Moo

Insect: Bzzz, Bzzz

Jew #3: Do you hear that? It sounds like we are on a farm? (ANIMALS REPEAT NOISES) See? I hear it again. What is going on here? I thought seders were for people only!

Expert: Relax, Relax. Chill out. The animals are here to remind us that it’s time to recite the ten plagues.

Moses: Right, the 10 plagues. I had almost forgotten about those. Because Pharoah didn’t want to let the Hebrew slaves go free, God showed him who was in charge by bringing on 10 different plagues. The plagues helped to convince Pharoah that he shouldn’t mess around. When God wants something, God gets it! And so after the 10^th plague, Pharoah let us go free.

Everyone: (to the tune of 3 Jolly Fisherman)

There will be 10 plagues in Egypt’s land

In order to make you understand

That God is the only one

Who created the earth and the sun

We don’t want to work anymore!

The first will turn the Nile to blood,

The 2^nd will bring forth frogs from the mud

The third will make you itch real bad

The next, the flies will make you mad

We don’t want to work anymore!

The fifth will make the meat all spoil

The sixth will cover the people with boils

The seventh one will make hail fall

Then locusts they will cover all

We don’t want to work anymore!

The next two will be the very worst

The daytime will turn into night

But we will still have lots of light

We don’t want to work anymore!

Pharoah forced us to the very last one

God killed all the first born sons

It isn’t something God wanted to do

But freedom’s a must for every Jew

We didn’t have to work anymore

RECITE 10 PLAGUES (CAN ALTERNATE HEBREW AND ENGLISH, TAKING OUT A DROP OF WINE FOR EACH ONE)

Jew #4: Those were difficult time, but God has given us so much that even if Adonai didn’t bring the ten plagues, I think it would have been enough for us!

SIGN DAYENU

Reporter: Are you sure this isn’t the Von Trapp family seder? All this singing has made me hungry.

Expert: Me too, but we still have to do a few more things. Rabban Gamliel explained….

Rabban Gamliel: Ahem, I can speak for myself! I explained that at the seder we have to explain the 3 symbols of Passover – the Pesach, the Matza and the Maror or we haven’t fulfilled the mitzvah of the seder.

Lamb: Baaa! Here I am. Back for a repeat performance from last year. I should say here I go! I know that you like to eat lambs on Passover. (Point to the shank bone and read: Can read Hebrew first) The Pesach sacrifice that our ancestors ate during the period of the Temple – what is it’s meaning? Because the Holy One, Blessed be God passed over our ancestor’s houses in Egypt, as it says: “You shall say, “it is a Pesach sacrifice to the Lord who passed over the houses of the Children of Israel in Egypt when God smote the Egyptians and save our houses’. And the people bowed down and prostrated themselves.” (Shemot 12:27)

Matzah: (lift up the matza and read: can read Hebrew first) This Matza that we eat – what is it’s meaning? It is because our ancestor’s dough did not have time to rise before the King of Kings: the Holy One blessed be God’s revelation and redemption of the Israelites. As it says “They baked t he dough which they had brought out of Egypt and could not delay, nor had they prepared food for themselves.”(Shemot 12:39)

Maror: Hey, what about me? See, I am always last, no wonder I am so bitter! (can read in Hebrew first) This bitter herb that we eat – what is it’s meaning? Because the Egyptians embittered our ancestor’s lives in Egypt, as it says: “They made their lives bitter with hard labor, with mortar and with bricks, and with all manner of work in the field; whatever they made them do was with rigor.” (Shemot 1:14)

Everyone: Now we eat?

Rabban Gamliel: Eat, shmeat. Is that all you think about? Let me tell you – each generation, each family, each child is supposed to feel as though they personally had come out from Egypt, as it says “you shall tell your child on the day: “it was because of this that the Lord did all these miracles for me when I went out of Egypt (Shemot 13:8). Not only our ancestors did the Holy One Blessed be God redeem us from Egypt, but redeemed us, sitting around this table, as well, as it says “It was us that God brought out from there so that God might bring us to, to give us the land that God promised our ancestors.” (Devarim 6:23)

Everyone: Now?

Expert: Almost. It’s time for our 2^nd cup of wine and to wash our hands again. But this time we say the blessing.

RECITE BLESSING FOR 2^ND CUP, WASH HANDS WITH BLESSING.

Matza: There is a special blessing for me too.

SAY BLESSING OVER MATZAH.

Bitter Herbs: It’s my turn again. Wow, so much attention, I feel better already! But you still might want to sweeten me up with some of that Haroset.

SAY BLESSING FOR MAROR.

Jew #1: Doesn’t the Torah say we are supposed to eat the matza and the maror together?

Moses: Ooooo, you are good. I remember writing that down.

Hillel: Yes, but I am the one who really invented the sandwich. Not that stuffy old Earl of Sandwich in England! As I said to my students when the Temple was still standing in Jerusalem: “combine the matzah and the maror in a sandwich and eat them together, to fulfill what is written in the Torah “with matzot and bitter herbs shall they eat it.”

DIP CHAROSET IN MAROR (CAN USE ROMAINE LETTUCE) AND PLACE BETWEEN 2 PIECES OF BOTTOM MATZAH

Everyone: Now?

Rabban Gamliel: Now! Betayavon!

EAT SHULCHAN ORECH (DINNER)

PART II

SAY BIRKAT HAMAZON – AT THE END, SAY BLESSING OVER 3^RD CUP OF WINE.

Alex: Hey, where is everyone going? We aren’t done yet! Why are you opening the door?

Avi: Relax, Abba. We are opening the door for Eliahu the prophet. It is said that he visits every Seder in the entire world in one night! (read in Hebrew and/or English)

Moses: Well, I have to be going now!

Rabban Gamliel: Yeah, me too, thanks for a great meal!

Reporter: That’s it? Where is all the singing about the dog, the cat, who knows one, two?

Expert: Those are coming up soon, but now we are going to sing songs praising God.

SING ONE/TWO SONGS FROM HALLEL

DRINK 4^TH CUP OF WINE W/ BLESSING

Alex: Now we are done! Just one more thing!

READ CHASAL LANU

Everyone: SING L’SHANA HABAA

haggadah Section: Cover

Source: original