One who is alone should ask themselves: "Why is this night different?"

(Maimonides, Laws of Unleavened Bread 7:3)

Although the reference is to the Mah Nishtanah, the formalized questions that are included in the Seder ritual, it might be better to translate this not as a question, but as a statement of wonder: “How different this night is!”

While the difficulties of holding a Seder by oneself are many and obvious, there are also a few surprising advantages that come along with it. We’re actually free. We’re stuck at home and stuck with ourselves and stuck with our freedom - this is a unique opportunity to deconstruct the Seder rituals and truly make them ours. Make the story one that we find authentic, see the rituals as powerful, and eat a delicious meal on our own, everything at our own pace. 

The Torah speaks four times, in slightly different ways, of telling the story of Pesach to children. (This telling is the meaning of the word Haggadah.) The rabbis were sensitive to the subtle changes in these four texts, and created a model of four types of children asking four types of questions: a wise child, a rebellious child, a simple child, and a child who does not know how to ask. The question-and-answer model of telling the story of Pesach was deemed to be the most important and most flexible, it allowed each telling of the story to fit the children asking it. And as many have pointed out over the years, the four children are not necessarily character types, but four different aspects active in every questioning soul. We all have our wise, rebellious, simple and silent sides. And yet: “One who is alone should ask themselves...” What is weird and wonderful about this year is that all those four sides get to enter into a conversation with each other. 

Our wise side might ask: what are the instructions for doing a Seder correctly?

Our rebellious side might interject: why the hell should I do this, while the world is going crazy outside?

Our simple side might wonder: what’s this all about?

Our silent side might not be able to put words to the enormity of the situation, and our powerlessness. 

How different is this night from all other nights. But in a way, how very Jewish! Jews are paradoxical people, holding onto a strict tradition, and always finding ways to adapt to a changing reality. For over two thousand years, Jews have made Pesach fit to the situations they faced - whether under persecution, in exile, or in comfort and in flourishing communities. Pesach this year will be difficult and unfamiliar, and call for lots of creativity  - and yet it will join the chain of thousands of years of Pesach seders calling for creativity. What we do this year will also echo into the future, and enter the story of our people. Our innovations could be the next generations’ traditions. It might be hard to think like this, looking at our situation today from the perspective of thousands of years, and it’s also ok to just be where we are, doing the best we can with what we have. That’s what Jews do!

- Rabbi Rachel Joesph


haggadah Section: Introduction