The Plague of Pessimism - Shaindy | Passover haggadah by Susi Fadlalla

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The midrash tells us that G-d created the plague of darkness so that all of the "evil Jews who did not want to leave Egypt" could die without the Egyptians being able to witness their deaths. If the Egyptians had seen Jews dying during this time, they would claim that the plagues were just random natural phenomena that affected the Jews just as much as themselves, rather than being messages aimed specifically at the Egyptians from G-d. It is later written that only 1 out of 5 Jews left Egypt (another opinion says 1 out of 500!), the rest having died during the plague of darkness. That means between 80 and 99 percent of Jews died at that time! Was not wanting to leave Egypt really so great a sin that most of the nation had to be killed for it?

And furthermore, we see that there were certainly a number of not very good people who did end up leaving Egypt. Datan and Aviram, two Jews who we only hear of for their evil acts over and over again, somehow merited to leave Egypt. There were a number of rebellions against G-d and Moshe that took place after the Jews left Egypt that involved great portions of the Jews. And often these rebellions included the complaint, "Why did you take us out of Egypt? It was so much better for us there. Take us back..." If there were evil people among the Jews who left, and there were people who seemingly also had not wanted to leave Egypt who left, then what was the real distinction between those who died and those who merited to live and be redeemed?

The difference was as follows. Those Jews who left Egypt may or may not have been good people. They may or may not have really wanted to leave. But they believed in the possibility of leaving. They could imagine such an event taking place.

Those Jews who died in Egypt could believe in no such thing. They couldn't even imagine that leaving Egypt was possible. They didn't die as a punishment. They died because that was the greatest end they could picture for themselves. To them, the best release they could imagine from their troubles did not involve redemption- redemption didn't even cross their minds. They believed- they would have even said they knew- that they would live in Egypt as slaves until they died. And so it was.

G-d cannot make our lives other than what we believe they can be. If you believe you must suffer in life, then you will. If you believe there are things you can never achieve, you will certainly never achieve them. If you perceive something as being impossible for you, it most definitely will be. We learn from this midrash about the plague of darkness that you design your own reality. If you want your reality to be better than what it is, you must believe that such a thing is possible. G-d always wants to give us the greatest good, but He can only give us the greatest good that we can receive at any given moment, and that depends on what our beliefs are. We need to work on stretching our beliefs in what is possible, believing that we can have more and that we deserve more, in order that we can have and achieve the greatest things that we desire- and which G-d desires for us.

Shaindy

haggadah Section: Introduction