It is traditional to begin the seder by reading the order of the parts of the seder.  Tonight, we have a slightly different description of the parts of seder.  Here we go:

*Kadesh (Sacred Time)We recite the blessing oveer a Tequila Sunrise, because our local stores ran out of kosher wine.

*Urchatz (Hand Washing)We wash hands before opening a jar of Manischwitz gefilte fish, since who knows who touched the jar before?

* Yachatz (Splitting the Middle Matzah)We break the middle matzah, then we break more matzah and a few dishes, because it feels good to break something.

*Rachatz (Wahing Hands Again)We wash a second time, because we didn't sing "Happy Birthday" the first time.

*Maror (Bitter Herbs)We eat bitter herbs to remind us that our portfolio declined 30% in the month of March.

*Korech (Bitter + Sweet)We eat a sandwich of matzah and bitter herbs to remind us that our portfolio just declined another 5%.

*Bareich (Blessing)We recite grace, expressing our thanks that Zoom enabled us to stream our seder and be together - even though we are apart.


haggadah Section: Kadesh