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Miss My Warm Pecan Pie (tune of Don McLean's "American Pie" – long version)

Contributed by Benjy Maor

  • TOP HAGGADAHS FOR 2023

A long, long time ago ...Israelites had to kowtowTo Pharaoh who they knew was vile

And they knew if they had a chance , That they would have to take a stance

And maybe they'd live happy by the Nile, But Moses was put in the river

To Pharaoh's palace was delivered, Bad news on the doorstep

The Hebrews toiled 'til they wept, They prayed to G-d to hear their cry

And to save them from this monstrous guy, Something touched Him deep inside

The day our people cried

So ...Why, why must we slave 'til we die

Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry

We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try

Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply

Scares us so that we must comply

Did you read the book of Shmot, And do you have faith in what they wrote

If the Bible tells you so, Moses went to Pharaoh to cajole

And maybe save his mortal soul, And asked him just to let our people go

Well the chances they were pretty slim, That Pharaoh would give in to him

But Pharaoh wouldn't lose, His slaves, so he refused

Our people suffered so when they were struck, 

'Cause they were the slaves of Pharaoh and were stuck

And they thought they were out of luck, The day our people cried

They started saying ...Why, why must we slave 'til we die

Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry

We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try

Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply

Scares us so that we must comply

Moses threatened Pharaoh on the throne

Said he knows that G-d'll send plagues down

And that's the way it had to be

First the waters in the Nile pristine

Were turned to blood and made unclean

And then frogs hopped around for all to see

Oh, and while Pharaoh was looking down

The lice made the Egyptians frownThe people were concerned

That plagues were sent in turn

And while Pharaoh was no easy mark

The wild beasts trampled in the park

The cattle died, the land was stark

The day our people cried, They were saying ...Why, why must we slave 'til we die

Need a miracle to free us from this life gone awry

We can't fight back 'cause we'll be killed if we try

Pharaoh scares us so that we must comply, Scares us so that we must comply

Helter skelter in the desert swelter

Now boils, then hail, there was no shelter

Plagues on high and coming fast

Then locusts in the air en masse

Egyptians were in a deep morass

With the Pharaoh on the sidelines standing fast

Total darkness hit the land with gloom

There was no sun, no stars, or moon

G-d showed omnipotence Oh, Pharaoh never had a chance

The plague of slaying first-borns was revealed

Pharaoh was beat and had to yield

Now all the slaves could leave the field

The day G-d turned the tide

And they were singing ...Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply

Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high

Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry

Bringing Jews across to the other side

Safe across to the other side

Oh, and now we are all in one place

For generations to relate The story that's retold again

So come one and come all, please make it quick

It's time to light the candle's wick

'Cause Seders are the means to comprehend

Oh, and as we read and turn the page

Our Seder guests we do engage

The story we do tell, So come and sit a spell

And as we tell of our ancestors' plight

The Ma Nishtanah we reciteIn the ceremony we delight

The day G-d turned the tide

And He was singing ...Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply

Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high

Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry

Bringing Jews across to the other side

Safe across to the other sideI met a gal who sang the blues

Because she had fewer foods to choose

So she just smiled and turned away

I went down to the groc'ry store

Where I'd bought a challah days before

And I filled my basket for the holiday

And back at home the house was clean

No speck of chametz could be seen

The middle matza broken

Go find the afikomen

And the three foods we will miss the most

Are popcorn, pizza and French toast

But this is true from coast to coast

The day the Jews defied

And so we're singing ...Bye, bye, miss my warm pecan pie

Drink some heavy Manischewitz and eat matza so dry

No bagels, pancakes or some nice Jewish rye

Eating macaroons and fried matza brei

Thankful that the Jews did not die

They were singing ...Bye, bye, we'll no longer comply

Drove our people to the Red Sea but the Red Sea was high

Then G-d split the water and the passage was dry

And our people crossed to the other side
haggadah Section: -- Exodus Story
Source: Randi E. Spiegel

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