Meanwhile, Back at the Red Sea

Source: For This We Left Egypt?

Shortly after letting the Israelites leave Egypt, the Pharaoh realized he had made a terrible mistake. Sure, killer angels had just slaughtered a large percentage of his people’s children, and the streets were a disgusting stew of blood, frogs, and locusts, and it was hailing and dark, and everyone had lice and boils. But on the other hand, the Pharaoh had just lost his free labor force, to say nothing of what the Israelites’ departure was going to do to the Egyptian entertainment industry. Also, the Pharaoh was a huge fan of gefilte fish, which his Egyptian chefs couldn’t seem to get right no matter hard he had them flogged.

So Pharaoh sent his army to bring the Israelites back. His soldiers caught up with them on the banks of the Sea of Reeds. When they saw the Egyptian army, the Israelites were afraid and cried out, “Oh crap! Boy, are we royally screwed now? No pun intended!”

But they were wrong, for at that moment, Adonai told Moses to lift his rod. Moses was briefly uncomfortable with this command, but then he remembered that he was carrying a walking stick. He raised it, and a strong east wind parted the waters of the sea, leaving space for the Israelites to cross over dry land and also pick up an array of interesting seashells.

The Egyptian army, none of whom apparently had been paying the slightest attention to anything happening in Egypt over the previous couple of weeks, decided it would be a good idea to follow them.

Moses lifted his rod again, and the waters rushed back and covered the Eqyptian soldiers.


haggadah Section: -- Ten Plagues
Source: or This We Left Egypt?