The haggadah acknowledges that children ask the most earnest and frank questions. There are many takes on the Four Children in modern versions of the haggadah, but the original four were the wise one, the wicked one, the simple one, and the one who doesn’t know to ask. We address these four children anytime we are faced with an urge to use:

The wise one asks, “How will acting on this urge affect you and others?”
They have learned from the past, and they understand the negative impact using will have on you and the world around you. Who are the wise children in your life?

The wicked one asks, “Won’t you feel great once you use?”
They get you to focus only on the immediate relief of using, excited to control your actions. How do you resist giving in to the wicked child?

The simple one asks, “Why are you having an urge to use?”
They ask the most fundamental question, which is perhaps the most difficult one, because it forces you to face the feelings you could numb with a substance. How do you answer?

The one who doesn’t know to ask stays silent, oblivious to the pain you are experiencing.
Who are the silent children in your life? How would they react if you shared your recovery experience with them? Would they be sources of support if they knew how you are feeling?


haggadah Section: -- Four Children