Before we get started let's all make sure we have crossed everything off on the Seder Checklist so the we are all ready:

1. Holiday candles (not the crappy store bought multi-colored Chanukah ones
2. Carafe of Wine
3. Carage of Chivas for Granddad Bernie
4. Seder plate (family heirloom, if you do not have a family heirloom Seder plate, just purchase the ugliest plate you can find. Now it is your family heirloom).
5. Cup of wine for Elija
6. Carafe of Chivas for Elija
7. Gloves and N95 mask for Elija
8. Three matzot, covered
9. Thing with which to cover matzot, such as a beutiful embroidered cloth, Power Rangers pillowcase, or a Chipotle's napkin.
10. Matzah of Hope (optional)
11. Matzah of Revenge (optional)
12. Afikomwn bag made from a grandkid's preschool art project
13. Salt water for dipping
14. Additional salt water for skinny-dipping
15.Matzah ball soup made by the most-Jewish person you know
16. If no most-Jewish person is available, a jar of matzah ball soup from Gelson's is acceptable
17. Gefitle Fish (wild and sustainably caught; avoid farmed gefitle fish if possible)
18. Actual food to eat  


haggadah Section: Introduction