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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Why is this night different from all other nights?
On this night, we gather together to prepare for Passover, outside of our kitchens, in a way our foremothers could have never imagined.
On this night we join as a community to rid ourselves of a different kind of chameitz .
What do we cleanse ourselves of tonight?
The echo of exclusionary language.
The weight of history.
The fear of women's voices.
The silencing of women's stories.
The violence done to women's bodies.
The pressure to conform to one image of who women are supposed to be.
The lingering belief that this tradition doesn't belong to women.
Let us all gather all this together like crumbs. Like chameitz we are ready to burn. Let us enter into this seder as if there were no more chameitz anywhere.
As if God had forever delighted in the image of Herself in each and every one of us.
As if freedom had been ours always, fully - like an open sea.
Sh’chinah
Sh’chinah, a feminine Hebrew noun, is a traditional name for the Divine Presence. I t has been understood as the imminent aspect of God that dwells among the people of Israel. In mystical texts the Sh’chinah is a feminine manifestation of God imagined as having a traditionally gendered relationship with the masculine, more active aspect of God. More recently, Sh’chinah has been reappropriated by feminists in search of a traditional feminine image of the divine.
The Journey Continues Haggadah, © 2000, pg. 22
My brother and I were at Sinai
He kept a journal
of what he saw
of what he heard
of what it all meant to him
I wish I had such a record
of what happened to me
It seems like every time I want to write
I can't
I'm always holding a baby
one of my own
or one of my friend
always holding a baby
so my hands are never free
to write things down
And then
As time passes
the particulars
the hard data
the who what when where why
slip away from me
and all I'm left with is
the feeling
But feelings are just sounds
The vowel barking of a mute
My brother is so sure of what he heard
after all he's got a record of it
consonant after consonant after consonant
If we remembered it together
we could recreate holy time
sparks flying
Taken from The Journey Continues, The Ma'yan Haggadah
Our Passover meal is called a seder, which means “order” in Hebrew, because we go through specific steps as we retell the story of our ancestors’ liberation from slavery. Some people like to begin their seder by reciting or singing the names of the 14 steps—this will help you keep track of how far away the meal is!
The Order of the Seder in Haiku, by Rabbi Avi Killip
קדש
this holy moment
wine sobers and sanctifies
the seder begins
ורחץ
grimy from egypt
we wash ourselves clean and wait
ready for freedom
כרפס
we celebrate life
by dipping into our tears
another springtime
יחץ
matzah; made to break
teaching us to find within
an afikoman
מגיד
a good story is
worth hearing again this year
tell me one more time
רחצה
wash before blessing
shhh, its a quiet moment
only then we eat
מוציא מצה
bread of affliction
even you need to be blessed
Hamotzi Matza
מרור
when our bitter herb
is really just a garnish
we are privileged
כורך
once upon a time
Hillel made the first sandwich
bitter with the sweet
שולחן עורך
brisket;matzo balls;
gefilte fish from the jar
--so worth waiting for!
צפון
hidden or stolen
it always tasted sweeter
ritual dessert
ברך
on this night we bless
singing together, aloud
like when we were kids
הלל
holy Redeemer
who leads us to promised lands
to you we sing praise
נירצה
let’s do it again
next year in Jerusalem
or tomorrow night
Kadesh, Urchatz, Karpas, Yachatz, Maggid, Rachtzah, Motzie, Matzah, Maror, Korech, Shulchan Orech, Tzafun, Beirach, Hallel, Nirtzah.
Sanctify, Wash, Appetizer, Break, Tell, Wash, Motzie, Eat Matzah, Bitter, Wrap, Set the Table, Hidden, Bless, Praise, Accepted.
Pack Nothing. Bring only your determination to serve and your willingness to be free.
Don’t wait for the bread to rise.
Take nourishment for the journey, but eat standing, be ready to move at a moment’s notice.
Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind - fear, silence, submission.
Do not take time to explain to the neighbors.Tell only a few trusted friends and family members.
Then begin quickly, before you have time to sink back into the old slavery.
Set out in the dark. I will send fire to warm and encourage you. I will be with you in the fire and I will be with you in the cloud.
You will learn to eat new food and find refuge in new places.
I will give you dreams in the desert to guide you safely home to that place you have not yet seen.
The stories you tell one another around your fires in the dark will make you strong and wise.
Outsiders will attack you, some will follow you, and at times you will weary and turn on each other from fear and fatigue and blind forgetfulness.
You have been preparing for this for hundreds of years.
I am sending you into the wilderness to make a way and to learn my ways more deeply.
Those who fight you will teach you. Those who fear you will strengthen you. Those who follow you may forget you. Only be faithful. This alone matters.
Some of you will die in the desert, for the way is longer than anyone imagined. Some of you will give birth.
Some will join other tribes along the way,
and some will simply stop and create new families in a welcoming oasis.
Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings that even your closest friends will have to learn your features as though for the first time.
Some of you will not change at all.
Sing songs as you go, and hold close together. You may, at times, grow confused and lose your way.
Continue to call each other by the names I’ve given you to help remember who you are. You will get where you are going by remembering who you are.
Tell your children lest they forget and fall into danger -
remind them even they were not born in freedom but under a bondage they no longer remember, which is still with them, if unseen.
So long ago you fell into slavery, slipped into it unaware, out of hunger and need.
Do not let your children sleep through the journey’s hardship.
Keep them awake and walking on their own feet so that you both remain strong and on course.
So you will be only the first of many waves of deliverance on these desert seas.
Do not go back. I am with you now and I am waiting for you.
Full PDF Here - http://www.jewbelong.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/JewBelongHaggadah-1.pdf
(1) Kiddush, sanctifying the holiday (2) Maggid, the storytelling (3) Birkat HaMazon, completing the Pesach meal; and (4) Hallel, completing the festival Psalms.
The Talmud connects the Four Cups to God's Four Promises to Israel: "Tell the children of Israel: I am Adonai! I will take them out... I will rescue them… I will redeem them… and I will marry them taking them as my people and I will be their God" (Exodus 6:6-7, Jerusalem Talmud Pesachim 10:1).
However, two 16th C. mystic rabbis identify the Four Cups with the Four Matriarchs of Israel. The Maharal of Prague (famous for the legend of Golem) and Rav Isaiah Horowitz of Tsfat explain:
(1) The Cup of Kiddush stands for Sarah who was the mother of a community of converts, believers by choice.
(2) The Cup of Maggid is for Rebecca who knew how to mother both Esav and Jacob, two opposed natures.
(3) The Cup of the Blessing after Eating represents Rachel whose son Joseph provided the whole family of Jacob with bread in a time of great famine.
(4) The Cup of Hallel (Praise) is for Leah who came to realize that the pursuit of the impossible, Jacob's love, must give way to appreciation of what one has. When her fourth child was born, Judah, she praised God: " This time I will thank God " (Genesis 29:35).
Standing
I’m standing on the shoulders of the ones who came before me
Recalling generations past, imagining those yet to be.
We weave our lives into our traditions.
We save what we value --- what it takes to survive.
We pass on the faith that lives in our deepest heart.
We weave our rituals with the threads of our lives.
~~~
Each cup of wine tonight will take us through the generations of women in our own families.
We are all standing on the shoulders of our grandmothers or women who were like grandmothers to us. We dedicate this first cup of wine to them.
In honor of the first cup:
What is one gift your grandmother gave you that you have here with you tonight?
~~~
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם,
שֶׁהֶחֱיָנוּ וְקִיְּמָנוּ וְהִגִּיעָנוּ לַזְּמַן הַזֶּה
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam,
she-hechiyanu v’key’manu v’higiyanu lazman hazeh.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe,
who has kept us alive, raised us up, and brought us to this happy moment.
~~~
Drink the first glass of wine!
Long before the struggle upward begins, there is tremor in the seed. Self-protection cracks, roots reach down and grab hold. The seed swells, and tender shoots push up toward light. This is karpas: spring awakening growth. A force so tough it can break stone.
And why do we dip karpas into salt water?
To remember the sweat and tears of our ancestors in bondage.
To taste the bitter tears of our earth, unable to fully renew itself this spring because of our waste, neglect, and greed.
To feel the sting of society's refusal to celebrate the blossoming of women's bodies and the full range of our capacity for love.
To remind us that tears stop. Spring comes. And with it the potential for change.
~~~
Dip the karpas into the salt water.
~~~
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, borei p’ri ha’adamah.
Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, who creates the fruit of the earth.
As we break the middle matza, we hide one portion. This hidden piece of matza, called the afikomen, must be found and shared at the end of the meal in order to complete the seder. The following is a kavana, an intention, reflecting one possible meaning for this symbolic act. The kavana can be followed by the Mi Shebeirach, based on the traditional prayer for healing.
Some do not get the chance to rise and spread out like golden loaves of challah, filled with sweet raisins and crowned with shiny braids.
Rushed, neglected, not kneaded by caring hands, we grow up afraid that any touch might cause a break. There are some ingredient we never receive.
Tonight, let us bless our cracked surfaces and sharp edges, unafraid to see our brittleness and brave enough to see our beauty.
Reaching for wholeness, let us piece together the parts of ourselves we have found and honor all that is still hidden.
Mi Shebeirach
Mi shebeirach avoteinu
M’kor babracha li’imoteinu
May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us,
Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.
And let us say: Amen.
Mi shebeirach imoteinu
M’kor habracha avoteinu
Bless those in need of healing with refuah sh’leimah,
The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit.
And let us say: Amen.
The Journey Continues Haggadah, © 1999, pg. 13
Pour the second glass of wine for everyone.
The Haggadah doesn’t tell the story of Passover in a linear fashion. We don’t hear of Moses being found by the daughter of Pharaoh – actually, we don’t hear much of Moses at all. Instead, we get an impressionistic collection of songs, images, and stories of both the Exodus from Egypt and from Passover celebrations through the centuries. Some say that minimizing the role of Moses keeps us focused on the miracles God performed for us. Others insist that we keep the focus on the role that every member of the community has in bringing about positive change.
Traditionally, we ask why this night is different from all other nights. This variation on the Four Questions challenges us to think about why some things have changed so little:
1) Why is “JAP” still such a popular put-down?
2) When women make up the majority of Jewish professionals, why are most Jewish communal organizations still led by men?
3) When will people stop thinking it’s only important for girls – and not boys – to learn about Jewish women’s history?
4) Why on this holiday, with its theme of liberation, are most seders still led by men and served by women?
I learned the Four Questions in the kitchen. My mother handed me a towel and said: "I'll wash, you dry. I'll sing a few words, and you repeat." And so we sang, from the night after Purim, every night until I'd learned it all.
I taught the Four Questions at bath time to two little ones, lithe and slippery as seals. "I'll sing a few words, and then you sing," I said. They loved to dip and splash for " sh'tei f'amim." And so we sang, from Purim to Pesach. Every night, until they learned it all.
This is a rite of passage. We learn our part and take our turn.
Wine trembles in our cups. Candles flicker. Conversation stops.
First we ask the prescribed questions. Then, we add our own.
~~~
Four Questions - מַה נִּשְּׁתַּנָה
מַה נִּשְּׁתַּנָה הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכָּל הַלֵּילוֹת?
Mah nish-ta-na ha-lai-lah ha-zeh mikol ha-lei-lot?
Why is this night of Passover different from all other nights of the year?
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה, הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה - כּוּלוֹ מַצָּה.
She-b'chol ha-lei-lot anu och'lin cha-meitz u-matzah. Ha-laylah hazeh kulo matzah.
On all other nights, we eat either leavened or unleavened bread, why on this night do we eat only matzah?
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת, - הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מָרוֹר.
Sheb'chol ha-lei-lot anu och'lin sh'ar y'rakot. Ha-lai-lah h-azeh maror.
On all other nights, we eat vegetables of all kinds, why on this night must we eat bitter herbs?
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אֵין אֶנוּ מַטְבִּילִין אֲפִילוּ פַּעַם אֶחָת, - הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה שְׁתֵּי פְעָמִים.
Sheb'chol ha-lei-lot ein anu mat-beelin afee-lu pa-am echat.Ha-lai-lah hazeh sh'tei p'ameem.
On all other nights, we do not dip vegetables even once, why on this night do we dip greens into salt water and bitter herbs into sweet haroset?
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין בֵּין יוֹשְׁבִין וּבֵין מְסֻבִּין, - הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה כֻּלָנו מְסֻ
Sheb’khol ha-lei-lot anu och-leem bein yo-shveen u-vein m’su-been, ha-lailah hazeh kulanu m’subeen.
On all other nights, everyone sits up straight at the table, why on this night do we recline and eat at leisure?
Around our tables sit four daughters.
Wise Daughter
The Wise daughter understands that not everything is as it appears.
She is the one who speaks up, confident that her opinion counts. She is the one who can take the tradition and ritual that is placed before her, turn it over and over, and find personal meaning in it. She is the one who can find the secrets in the empty spaces between the letters of the Torah.
She is the one who claims a place for herself even if the men do not make room for her.
Some call her wise and accepting. We call her creative and assertive. We welcome creativity and assertiveness to sit with us at our tables and inspire us to act.
Wicked Daughter
The Wicked daughter is the one who dares to challenge the simplistic answers she has been given.
She is the one who asks too many questions. She is the one not content to remain in her prescribed place. She is the one who breaks the mold. She is the one who challenges the status quo.
Some call her wicked and rebellious. We call her daring and courageous. We welcome rebellion to sit with us at our tables and make us uneasy.
Simple Daughter
The Simple daughter is the one who accepts what she is given without asking for more.
She is the one who trusts easily and believes what she is told. She is the one who prefers waiting and watching over seeking and acting. She is the one who believes that the redemption from Egypt was the final act of freedom. She is the one who follows in the footsteps of others.
Some call her simple and naive. We call her the one whose eyes are yet to be opened. We welcome the contented one to sit with us at our tables and appreciate what will is still to come.
Daughter Who Does Not Know How to Ask
Last is the daughter who does not know how to ask.
She is one who obeys and does not question. She is the one who has accepted men's definitions of the world. She is the one who has not found her own voice. She is the one who is content to be invisible.
Some call her subservient and oppressed. We call her our sister. We welcome the silent one to sit with us at our tables and experience a community that welcomes the voices of women.
(Used with permission of the Temple Emunah Women's Seder Haggadah Design Committee)
The Torah speaks of four Daughters: one possessing wisdom of the heart, one rebellious, one simple and pure, and one who cannot ask questions.
The daughter possessing wisdom of the heart what does she say? "Father, your decree is harsher than Pharoah's. The decree of the wicked Pharoah may or may not have been fulfilled, but you who are righteous, your decree surely is realized." The father heeded his daughter (Miriam). So we too follow in her steps with drums and dancing, spreading her prophecy amongst the nations
The rebellious daughter, what does she say? "Recognize" the ways of enslavement and the tyranny of man's rule over man. Although she rebels against authority it is said: She was more righteous than he, and we enjoy no freedom until we have left our unjust ways.
The simple and pure daughter, what does she say? "Wherever you go, so shall I go, and where you rest your head so there will I rest mine. Your people are mine, and your God my God" (Ruth,1:16). We shall indeed fortify her in her loyalty to those she loved, and it was said to her: "May God make the woman who is coming into your house like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built up the House of Israel."
And the daughter who cannot ask– only her silent weeping is heard, as it is written, "and she wept for her father and mother." We will be her mouthpiece and she will be for us a judge. We will return her to her mother's house and to her who conceived her, and we will proclaim "liberty in the land for all its inhabitants."
Each of the Four Daughters expresses a unique path from bondage to freedom in a national and human sense. They learn from examining their parents' lives and from the struggle of their nation, while their parents themselves are exposed to new spiritual layers as a result of their daughter's education.
Wise of Heart: According to the Midrash, young Miriam persuaded her father Amram and the other enslaved men of Israel not to separate from their wives despite Pharoah's decree to destroy all male newborns. When her mother Yocheved gave birth to a boy, the two worked together to save the new son/brother. Miriam recognized the historical significance of this nascent struggle, as she did at the splitting of the Red Sea, and thus led her people to redemption ( Talmud Bavli, Sotah 12 ).
Rebellious: Tamar's complex relationship with her father-in-law, Judah, son of Jacob our forefather, expresses a rebellion whose result was critical to the continuation of the tribe of Judah and the Jewish people. With her deeds, Tamar barricaded herself against her loss of freedom as an imprisoned widow. She eventually achieves the yibum (levirate marriage) to which she is entitled, and becomes the "founding mother" of the Davidic dynasty, symbol of messianic redemption (Tamar, Genesis 38:26).
Simple and Pure: Ruth the Moabitess remained true to her mother-in-law Naomi, and her ingenious loyalty is absolute. This wonderful emotional closeness that Ruth so adamantly demonstrates rescues both of them from poverty and internal bondage (Ruth 4:11).
The One Who Cannot Ask: This last of the four daughters lacks sufficient freedom to taste even slightly the redemption and thus remains weeping in utter slavery. Although the 'beautiful captive' from war is allowed to grieve for her parents before she is taken (Deuteronomy 21:13), she is a reminder of the reality of silenced bondage, which continues to exist in our midst in various ways. The silent weeping that erupts from this dark reality is a call to action for the cause of freedom and liberty of every man and woman (Leviticus 25:10), born in the image of God, in order to live securely in their homes, among their people and loving family (Song of Songs 3:4).
Rabbi Einat Ramon, is the first Israeli-born woman to be ordained as a Rabbi.
This clip originally appeared on Ritualwell.org.
Filling Miriam's Cup follows the second cup of wine, before washing the hands. Raise the empty goblet and say:
Miriam's cup is filled with water, rather than wine. I invite women of all generations at our Seder table to fill Miriam's cup with water from their own glasses.
Pass Miriam's cup around the table(s). Explain the significance of filling Miriam's cup with water:
A Midrash teaches us that a miraculous well accompanied the Hebrews throughout their journey in the desert, providing them with water. This well was given by God to Miriam, the prophetess, to honor her bravery and devotion to the Jewish people. Both Miriam and her well were spiritual oases in the desert, sources of sustenance and healing. Her words of comfort gave the Hebrews the faith and confidence to overcome the hardships of the Exodus. We fill Miriam's cup with water to honor her role in ensuring the survival of the Jewish people. Like Miriam, Jewish women in all generations have been essential for the continuity of our people. As keepers of traditions in the home, women passed down songs and stories, rituals and recipes, from mother to daughter, from generation to generation. Let us each fill the cup of Miriam with water from our own glasses, so that our daughters may continue to draw from the strength and wisdom of our heritage.
Opportunity to share a story or two about a Jewish woman in your life.
When Miriam's cup is filled, and stories are told (if appropriate), raise the goblet and say:
We place Miriam's cup on our Seder table to honor the important role of Jewish women in our tradition and history, whose stories have been too sparingly told.
Continue by reciting this prayer (from Susan Schnur):
"You abound in blessings, God, creator of the universe, Who sustains us with living water. May we, like the children of Israel leaving Egypt, be guarded and nurtured and kept alive in the wilderness, and may You give us wisdom to understand that the journey itself holds the promise of redemption. AMEN." --Susan Schnur
Alternate Reader :
Miriam's life is a contrast to the life of Elijah, and both teach us important lessons. Elijah was a hermit, who spent part of his life alone in the desert. He was a visionary and prophet, often very critical of the Jewish people, and focused on the messianic era. On the other hand, Miriam lived among her people in the desert, following the path of hesed, or loving kindness. She constantly comforted the Israelites throughout their long journey, encouraging them when they lost faith. Therefore, Elijah's cup is a symbol of future messianic redemption, while Miriam's cup is a symbol of hope and renewal in the present life. We must achieve balance in our own lives, not only preparing our souls for redemption, but rejuvenating our souls in the present. Thus, we need both Elijah's cup and Miriam's cup at our seder table.
L'chi Lach
L'chi lach, to a land that I will show you
Lech l'cha, to a place you do not know
L'chi lach, on your journey I will bless you
And (you shall be a blessing) 3x l'chi lach
L'chi lach, and I shall make your name great
Lech l'cha, and all shall praise your name
L'chi lach, to the place that I will show you
(L'sim-chat cha-yim) 3x l'chi lach
My father was a wandering Aramean, but he did not wander alone. My mother traveled with him. Guided by a shared faith, the two raised a great nation. L'chi Lach.
L'Chi Lach
L'chi lach, to a land that I will show you
Leich l'cha, to a place you do not know
L'chi lach, on your journey I will bless you
And (you shall be a blessing) l'chi lach
And (you shall be a blessing) l'chi lach
And (you shall be a blessing) l'chi lach
L'chi lach, and I shall make your name great
Leich l'cha, and all…
Source: LyricFind
The traditional Haggadah lists ten plagues that afflicted the Egyptians. We live in a very different world, but Passover is a good time to remember that, even after our liberation from slavery in Egypt, there are still many challenges for us to meet. Here are ten “modern plagues”:
Inequity - Access to affordable housing, quality healthcare, nutritious food, good schools, and higher education is far from equal. The disparity between rich and poor is growing, and opportunities for upward mobility are limited.
Entitlement - Too many people consider themselves entitled to material comfort, economic security, and other privileges of middle-class life without hard work.
Fear - Fear of “the other” produces and reinforces xenophobia, anti-immigrant sentiment, antisemitism, homophobia, and transphobia.
Greed - Profits are a higher priority than the safety of workers or the health of the environment. The top one percent of the American population controls 42% of the country’s financial wealth, while corporations send jobs off-shore and American workers’ right to organize and bargain collectively is threatened.
Distraction - In this age of constant connectedness, we are easily distracted by an unending barrage of information, much of it meaningless, with no way to discern what is important.
Distortion of reality - The media constructs and society accepts unrealistic expectations, leading to eating disorders and an unhealthy obsession with appearance for both men and women.
Unawareness - It is easy to be unaware of the consequences our consumer choices have for the environment and for workers at home and abroad. Do we know where or how our clothes are made? Where or how our food is produced? The working conditions? The impact on the environment?
Discrimination - While we celebrate our liberation from bondage in Egypt, too many people still suffer from discrimination. For example, blacks in the United States are imprisoned at more than five times the rate of whites, and Hispanics are locked up at nearly double the white rate. Women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by a man. At 61 cents to the dollar, the disparity is even more shocking in Jewish communal organization.
Silence - Every year, 4.8 million cases of domestic violence against American women are reported. We do not talk about things that are disturbing, such as rape, sex trafficking, child abuse, domestic violence, and elder abuse, even though they happen every day in our own communities.
Feeling overwhelmed and disempowered - When faced with these modern “plagues,” how often do we doubt or question our own ability to make a difference? How often do we feel paralyzed because we do not know what to do to bring about change?
Holy One of Blessing,
It is hard to leave Egypt,
the narrow places that keep us from being free.
We need courage.
We need each other.
Remind us what we learn in Talmud:
we were redeemed because of the righteousness of the women.
Bless us with the strength of Shifra and Puah…
midwives who risked their lives to save the lives of innocent babies.
Bless us with the confidence of Yocheved
who put her infant son Moses in a basket on the river.
Bless us with the compassion of the daughter of Pharaoh,
whose stretched out arms brought safety.
Bless us with the chutzpah of Miriam
who spoke truth to power..
A conspiracy of women
changed the world then.
It can change the world now.
Blessing flows through us
to our sisters at the Kotel.
Blessings flow through them
to other sisters.
A conspiracy of women
and the men who support them
reminding us
what Passover teaches:
the way things are not the way they have to be.
May God bless us and protect us
May God’s light shine on us and be gracious to us
May we feel God’s presence and may we have peace
Maimonides urged us to care for our bodies so that we would be free to concentrate our energies on God. In the modern world, one of the greatest threats to our physical health is mental stress. Stress causes insomnia, digestive problems, heart disease, autoimmune disorders, depression, memory impairment and countless other complications. As women, we are particularly vulnerable to the stress caused by multiple and exhausting commitments to our families, friends, jobs and communities. This year, let us learn how to say “Enough!”
If we agree to be a part of two extracurricular activities a week instead of three …
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we took three classes instead of four…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we applied to 17 grants instead of 70…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we check our email every hour instead of every minute…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we stay in to do homework one weekend night instead of two…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we let FOMO have control four nights of the week and not everyday…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we ever went to the gym…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we ate Slifka cookies every other time they were served but not every single time…
דַּיֵּנוּ
If we do what we can, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour…
דַּיֵּנוּ
Pesach, Matza, Maror
We therefore add to Rabban Gamliel’s list that no seder can be complete without the questions of daughters as well as sons, the teachings of mothers as well as fathers, and the celebration of sisters and brothers together. Thus, we sing, “In every generation all of us are obligated to see ourselves as though we personally left Egypt.”
The Journey Continues Haggadah, © 1997, pg. 24
Sh’foch Chamat’cha/Elijah’s Cup
Reader: At this point in the seder Jewish communities, beset by persecution during the Crusades, opened their doors and recited the angry plea “Sh’foch chamat’cha… Pour out Your wrath upon the nations who do not know you.”
Reader: In other communities during the same period, the hope fo redemption was so intense that they sang to invoke the Prophet Elijah who, according to legend, would herald an era of Messianic peace, justice, and healing.
All: We open our doors now with the need to act on both impulses. The crimes of humanity that we continue to see – the rape and torture of innocents, ethnic cleansing, the destruction of entire cities and cultures – cry out of just retribution beyond our limited capacity. And our longing for peace, for healing of earth, body and spirit, still brings the hope-drenched melody of Eiliyahu Hanavi to our lips.
Eiliyahu hanavi, Eiliyahu htishbi, Eiliyahu hagiladi.
Bimheira v’yameinu, yavo eileinu, im moshiach ben David.
Elijah the Prophet, come to us soon, for you herald Messianic days.
Continue in the same melody, connecting the memory of Miriam the Prophet to Elijah.
Mir’yam han’via oz v’zimra b’yada
Mir’yam, tirkod itanu, l’hagdil zimrat olam.
Mir’yam, tirkod itanu, l’takein et ha-olam.
Bim’heira v’yameinu, (hi) t’vi-einu. El mei ha-y’shua. El mei ha-y’shua.
Miriam the Prophet, strength and song are in her hand. Miriam will dance with us to strengthen the world’s song. Miriam will dance with us to heal the world. Soon, and in our time, she will lead us to the waters of salvation.
The Journey Continues Haggadah, © 1999, pg. 36-37
And then all that has divided us will merge
And then compassion will be wedded to power
And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind
And then both men and women will be gentle
And then both women and men will be strong
[And then people of all genders will be recognized and gentle and strong]
And then no person will be subject to another's will
And then all will be rich and free and varied
And then the greed of some will give way to the needs of many
And then all will share equally in the Earth's abundance
And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old
And then all will nourish the young
And then all will cherish life's creatures
And then everywhere will be called Eden once again
Your FriendsederTM is coming to a close. After four glasses of vino, we’re betting you’re ready to sing out! Fortunately, we’re prepared for that.
Also, it might be fun to do this again next year – maybe even all together in person!
At the end of the seder, the rabbis tasked us with singing! Singing together is the best - but singing over Zoom is the worst. Connect your sound to share your music over Zoom so everyone can jam out together! Consider drawing as the music is playing or reflect on a lyric on a white board and share - or just have a dance party and take turns sharing dance moves!
Potential Songs:
“One Day” by Matisyahu
“500 Miles” by The Proclaimers
“Redemption Song” by Bob Marley
“Who Knows One”
“Chad Gadya”
“We Shall Overcome” by Charles Albert Tindley
“Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen
“Go Down Moses”
“Od Yavo Shalom Aleinu” by Mosh Ben Ari
“If I Had A Hammer” by Peter, Paul, & Mary
“Miriam’s Song” by Debbie Friedman
May you enjoy freedom of speech
May you enjoy freedom of worship
May you enjoy freedom from want
May you enjoy freedom from fear
~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Filling Miriam's Cup follows the second cup of wine, before washing the hands. Raise the empty goblet and say:
Miriam's cup is filled with water, rather than wine. I invite women of all generations at our Seder table to fill Miriam's cup with water from their own glasses.
Pass Miriam's cup around the table(s).
Explain the significance of filling Miriam's cup with water:
A Midrash teaches us that a miraculous well accompanied the Hebrews throughout their journey in the desert, given by God because of the merit of Miriam, the prophetess. Miriam’s optimism and faith also was a spiritual oasis, giving the Hebrews the confidence to overcome the hardships of the Exodus.
Like Miriam, Jewish women in all generations have been essential for the continuity of our people. As keepers of traditions in the home, women passed down songs and stories, rituals and recipes, from mother to daughter, from generation to generation. Let us each fill the cup of Miriam with water from our own glasses, so that our daughters may continue to draw from the strength and wisdom of our heritage.
When Miriam's cup is filled, raise the goblet and say:
Yehi ratzon milfanecha, adonai eloheinu, velohei avoteinu v'imoteinu, borei ha'olam: shetishm'reinu ut'kaymeinu bamidbar chayeinu im mayim chayim. V'titen lanu et hachizzuk v'et hachomchah l'daat she'tzmichat geulateinu nimtza baderekh chayim lo rak b'sof haderekh.
"You abound in blessings, God, creator of the universe, Who sustains us with living water. May we, like the children of Israel leaving Egypt, be guarded and nurtured and kept alive in the wilderness, and may You give us wisdom to understand that the journey itself holds the promise of redemption." (from Rabbi Susan Shnur)
Next, tell the story of a Jewish woman you admire.
Begin by saying:
Each Passover, we dedicate Miriam's cup to a Jewish woman who has made important contributions in achieving equality and freedom for others. This year, we honor. . .
Biographies of Jewish women used for Passover Seder’s may be found at: http://www.miriamscup.com/BiographyFirst.htm
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Dancing in honor of the prophetess Miriam can follow the rituals for the prophet Elijah after the meal.
Lift Miriam's cup and say:
Miriam's life is a contrast to the life of Elijah. Elijah was a hermit, who spent part of his life alone in the desert. He was a visionary and prophet, often very critical of the Jewish people, and focused on the world to come. On the other hand, Miriam lived among her people in the desert, constantly encouraging them throughout their long journey. Therefore, Elijah's cup is a symbol of future messianic redemption, while Miriam's cup is a symbol of hope and renewal in the present life. We must achieve balance in our own lives, not only preparing our souls for redemption, but rejuvenating our souls in the present. Thus, we need both Elijah's cup and Miriam's cup at our Seder table.
Sing and dance with tambourines. First hold up a tambourine and say (from Exodus 15:20-21):
"And Miriam the prophetess, took a timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her, with timbrels and with dances. And Miriam sang unto them, Sing ye to God, for God is highly exalted; The horse and his rider hath God thrown into the sea." As Miriam once led the women of Israel in song and dance to praise God for the miracle of splitting the Red Sea, so we now rejoice and celebrate the freedom of the Jewish people today.
In the early 1980s, the Hillel Foundation invited me to speak on a panel at Oberlin College. While on campus, I came across a Haggadah that had been written by some Oberlin students to express feminist concerns. One ritual they devised was placing a crust of bread on the Seder plate, as a sign of solidarity with Jewish lesbians (there’s as much room for a lesbian in Judaism as there is for a crust of bread on the Seder plate).
At the next Passover, I placed an orange on our family’s seder plate. During the first part of the Seder, I asked everyone to take a segment of the orange, make the blessing over fruit, and eat it as a gesture of solidarity with Jewish lesbians and gay men, and others who are marginalized within the Jewish community (I mentioned widows in particular).
Bread on the Seder plate brings an end to Pesach – it renders everything hametz. And it suggests that being lesbian is being transgressive, violating Judaism. I felt that an orange was suggestive of something else: the fruitfulness for all Jews when lesbians and gay men are contributing and active members of Jewish life. In addition, each orange segment had a few seeds that had to be spit out – a gesture of spitting out, repudiating the homophobia of Judaism.
When lecturing, I often mentioned my custom as one of the many new feminist rituals that have been developed in the last twenty years. Somehow, though, the typical patriarchal maneuver occurred: My idea of an orange and my intention of affirming lesbians and gay men were transformed. Now the story circulates that a man said to me that a woman belongs on the bimah as an orange on the seder plate. A woman’s words are attributed to a man, and the affirmation of lesbians and gay men is simply erased. Isn’t that precisely what’s happened over the centuries to women’s ideas?
Keep one orange on the Seder plate, and pass out orange slices.
