We don't know how long this will last. They are a very festive people. –Elaine Benes

AN INTRODUCTION

About three thousand years ago, ancient Israelites fused a shepherds’ spring celebration of the birthing of lambs and a farmers’ spring celebration of the sprouting of barley into a spring celebration of their liberation from slavery and the downfall of a tyrant.

About two thousand years ago, the Jewish people reshaped that celebration into a Seder, a story and meal that could be eaten and told at home. The Passover story and celebration entered the memory stream of Christianity through the teachings of Jesus in the Last Supper, which seems to have been a Passover Seder. Still later, Islam welcomed Moses as a prophet.

In 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King was planning to take part in a Passover Seder with the family of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, who marched and prayed and struggled alongside him against racism an militarism in America. But ten days before the Seder, Dr. King was murdered.

“Prayer is meaningless unless it is subversive, unless it seeks to overthrow and to ruin the pyramids of callousness, hatred, opportunism, falsehoods. The liturgical movement must become a revolutionary movement, seeking to overthrow the forces that continue to destroy the promise, the hope, the vision.” -Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, 1970

Passover allows us a chance to connect with each other and with ourselves, and to help us remember all the ways we enslave ourselves when we lapse into automatic, familiar thought patterns.

We enslave ourselves when we remain in  Mitzrayim,  the narrow place of confusion and disconnection with our own and others' essential nature. As human beings we all want to be happy and avoid suffering. In the Jewish tradition, ritual is used to bring us to an awareness of the present, and to connect us with our past. ( Contributed by Andrew Marantz )

[RABBI'S OPENING MONOLOGUE IN 'ANGELS OF AMERICA' ABOUT THE DEATH OF SARAH IRONSON]

This good and righteous woman... she was not a person, but a whole kind of a person - the ones that crossed the ocean that brought with us to America, the villages of Russia and Lithuania. And how we struggled! And how we fought! For the family... for the Jewish home! Descendants of this immigrant woman, you do not grow up in America - you and your children, and their children with their goyische names. You do not live in America - no such a place exists. Your clay is the clay of some litvak shtetl, and your air is the air of the steppes, because she carried that Old World on her back, across the ocean, in a boat! And she put it down on Grand Concourse Avenue... on Flatbush. You can never make that crossing that she made, for such great voyages in this world do not any more exist. But every day of your lives, the miles - that voyage from that place to this one - you cross. Every day! You understand me? In you, that journey... is ( Contributed by Marlene Edelstein )

"LOVE POEM,"BY WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

Sweep the house clean,

hang fresh curtains in the windows

put on a new dress and come with me!

The elm is scattering its little loaves

of sweet smells from a white sky!

Who shall hear of us in the time to come?

Let him say there was a burst of fragrance

from black branches. ( Contributed byRobin Marantz Henig & Jeff Henig)

THE ORDER OF THE EVENING

Our Passover meal is called a seder , which means “order” in Hebrew, because we go through 14 specific steps as we retell the story of our ancestors’ liberation from slavery in Egypt.

Some people like to begin their seder by reciting or singing the names of the 14 steps – this will help you keep track of how far away the main course is!

Kiddush (the blessing over wine) | kadeish |קַדֵּשׁ

Ritual hand-washing in preparation for the seder | urchatz |וּרְחַץ

Dipping a green vegetable in salt water| karpas |כַּרְפַּס

Breaking the middle matzah | yachatz |יַחַץ

Telling the story of Passover | magid |מַגִּיד

Ritual hand-washing in preparation for the meal | rachtza |רָחְצָה

The blessing over the meal and matzah | motzi matzah |מוֹצִיא מַצָּה

Dipping the bitter herb in sweet charoset | maror |מָרוֹר

Eating a sandwich of matzah and bitter herb | koreich |כּוֹרֵךְ

Eating the meal! | shulchan oreich |שֻׁלְחָן עוֹרֵךְ

Finding and eating the Afikomen | tzafoon |צָפוּן

Saying grace after the meal and inviting Elijah the Prophet | bareich |בָּרֵךְ

Singing songs that praise God | hallel |הַלֵּל

Ending the seder and thinking about the future | nirtzah |נִרְצָה

Kiddush=sanctification. Wine is a symbol of the sanctity, the preciousness, and the sweetness of this moment. Held together by sacred bonds of family, friendship, peoplehood, we share this table tonight with one another and with all the generations who have come before us. Let us rise and sanctify. HOW? We drink 4 cups of wine at the Seder in celebration of our freedom( Kedem g rape juice is fine too ). We stand, recite the blessing, and enjoy the first cup. To life, l'chaim! The blessing praises God for creating the "fruit of the vine" ( which is a loose translation for Weinreb in Yiddish, according to Vilnius University scholar Dovid Katz ). We recite the blessing, not over the whole grape, but over wine — squeezed and fermented through human skill. So, too, the motzi blessing is recited not over sheaves of wheat but over bread, leavened or unleavened, ground and kneaded and prepared by human hands. The blessing is over the product cultivated through human and divine cooperation: We bless the gifts of sun, seed and soil transformed by wisdom and purpose to sustain the body and rejoice the soul.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruit of the vine.

“When I’m in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands.” - Larry David

Pass a bowl of water, a small cup and a towel around the table. Everyone pours three cupfuls over their fingers. There is no blessing over this washing.

KARPAS: REBIRTH AND RENEWAL

Reader: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am for myself only, what am I? And if not now, when? - Hillel, Pirkei Avot 1:14.

Group: And if not with others, how? - Adrienne Rich, Blood, Bread, and Poetry.

Reader: The Passover festival of freedom developed from an even more ancient holiday: a celebration of the spring harvest.Spring is a time of rebirth. The snow of winter has melted. Once again the bare trees have begun to bud. Already the flowers have started to bloom, filling the air with their scent, and our hearts with their life.

The fresh greens of spring serve a special purpose at this time in our Seder. As we dip these vegetables, the karpas, into salt water, a symbol of the tears of slavery, we remember all those who still suffer under the yoke of oppression. May we open our eyes, our hearts, and our hands, and help to remove suffering and want from our world.

(Each person takes some greens and dips them in salt water)Before we eat it, we recite a short blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree ha-adama.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruits of the earth.

TREES BY JOYCE KILMER

I think that I shall never see, a poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest, against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day, and lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in Summer wear, a nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain; who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

(Contributed by Esther Weinreb)

There are three pieces of matzah stacked on the table. We now break the middle matzah into two pieces. The host should wrap up the larger of the pieces and, at some point between now and the end of dinner, hide it. This piece is called the afikomen, literally “dessert” in Greek. After dinner, the guests will have to hunt for the afikomen in order to wrap up the meal… and win a prize.

Uncover and hold up the three pieces of matzah and say:

This is the bread of poverty which our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt. All who are hungry, come and eat; all who are needy, come and celebrate Passover with us. This year we are here; next year we will be in Israel. This year we are slaves; next year we will be free.

The Pesach story begins in a broken world, amidst slavery and oppression. The sound of the breaking of the matza sends us into that fractured existence, only to become whole again when we find the broken half, the afikoman, at the end of the Seder. This brokenness is not just a physical or political situation: It reminds us of all those hard, damaged places within ourselves. All those narrow places from which we want to break to free. In Hebrew, Egypt is called Mitzrayim, reminding us of the word tzar, narrow. Thus, in Hassidic thought, Mitzrayim symbolizes the inner straits that trap our souls. Yet even here we can find a unique value, as the Hassidic saying teaches us: "There is nothing more whole – than a broken heart."

Let's now take time to reflect on the brokenness of our family and publicly name people who are not here with us this evening. - Contributed by Mishael Zion

Pour the second glass of wine for everyone.

The Haggadah doesn’t tell the story of Passover in a linear fashion. We don’t hear of Moses being found by the daughter of Pharaoh – actually, we don’t hear much of Moses at all. Instead, we get an impressionistic collection of songs, images, and stories of both the Exodus from Egypt and from Passover celebrations through the centuries. Some say that minimizing the role of Moses keeps us focused on the miracles God performed for us. Others insist that we keep the focus on the role that every member of the community has in bringing about positive change.

The central imperative of the Seder is to tell the story. The Bible instructs: “ You shall tell your child on that day, saying: ‘This is because of what Adonai did for me when I came out of Egypt.' ” (Exodus 13:8) We relate the story of our ancestors to regain the memories as our own. Elie Weisel writes: God created man because He loves stories. We each have a story to tell — a story of enslavement, struggle, liberation. Be sure to tell your story at the Seder table, for the Passover is offered not as a one-time event, but as a model for human experience in all generations.

PASSOVER, BY PRIMO LEVI

Tell me: how is this night different, from all other nights?

How, tell me, is this Passover, different from other Passovers?

Light the lamp, open the door wide, so the pilgrim can come in,

Gentile or Jew; under the rags perhaps the prophet is concealed.

Let him enter and sit down with us; let him listen, drink, sing and celebrate Passover;

Let him consume the bread of affliction, the Paschal Lamb, sweet mortar and bitter herbs.

This is the night of differences, in which you lean your elbow on the table,

Since the forbidden becomes prescribed, evil is translated into good.

We will spend the night recounting, far-off events full of wonder,

And because of all the wine, the mountains will skip like rams.

Tonight they exchange questions: the wise, the godless, the simple-minded and the child.

And time reverses its course, today flowing back into yesterday,

Like a river enclosed at its mouth. Each of us has been a slave in Egypt,

Soaked straw and clay with sweat, and crossed the sea dry-footed.

You too, stranger. this year in fear and shame,

Next year in virtue and in justice.

Tevye: As Abraham said, "I am a stranger in a strange land... " Mendel: Moses said that.

Tevye: Ah. Well, as King David said, "I am slow of speech, and slow of tongue." Mendel: That was also Moses.

Tevye: For a man who was slow of tongue, he talked a lot. - Fiddler on the Roof

The formal telling of the story of Passover is framed as a discussion with lots of questions and answers. The tradition that the youngest person asks the questions reflects the centrality of involving everyone in the seder. The rabbis who created the set format for the seder gave us the Four Questions to help break the ice in case no one had their own questions. Asking questions is a core tradition in Jewish life. If everyone at your seder is around the same age, perhaps the person with the least seder experience can ask them – or everyone can sing them all together.

מַה נִּשְׁתַּנָּה הַלַּֽיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכָּל הַלֵּילות

Ma nishtana halaila hazeh mikol haleilot?

Why is this night different from all other nights?

שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָֽנוּ אוֹכלין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה הַלַּֽיְלָה הַזֶּה כֻּלּוֹ מצה

Shebichol haleilot anu ochlin chameitz u-matzah. Halaila hazeh kulo matzah.

On all other nights we eat both leavened bread and matzah. Tonight we only eat matzah.

שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָֽנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת הַלַּֽיְלָה הַזֶּה מָרוֹר

Shebichol haleilot anu ochlin shi’ar yirakot haleila hazeh maror.

On all other nights we eat all kinds of vegetables, but tonight we eat bitter herbs.

שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אֵין אָֽנוּ מַטְבִּילִין אֲפִילוּ פַּֽעַם אחָת הַלַּֽיְלָה הַזֶּה שְׁתֵּי פְעמים

Shebichol haleilot ain anu matbilin afilu pa-am echat. Halaila hazeh shtei fi-amim.

On all other nights we aren’t expected to dip our vegetables one time. Tonight we do it twice.

שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָֽנוּ אוֹכְלִין בֵּין יוֹשְׁבִין וּבֵין מְסֻבִּין. :הַלַּֽיְלָה הַזֶּה כֻּלָּֽנוּ מְסֻבין

Shebichol haleilot anu ochlin bein yoshvin uvein m’subin. Halaila hazeh kulanu m’subin.

On all other nights we eat either sitting normally or reclining. Tonight we recline ( Contributed byJewishBoston .com)

Does anyone else have any questions they'd like to ask?

Here's to feeling good all the time. –Kramer

THE FOUR CHILDREN BY RABBI DANIEL GROPPER

At Passover each year, we read the story of our ancestors’ pursuit of liberation from oppression. When confronting this history, how do we answer our children when they ask us how to pursue justice in our time?

WHAT DOES THE ACTIVIST CHILD ASK?

“The Torah tells me, ‘Justice, justice you shall pursue,’ but how can I pursue justice?”Empower him always to seek pathways to advocate for the vulnerable. As Proverbs teaches, “Speak up for the mute, for the rights of the unfortunate. Speak up, judge righteously, champion the poor and the needy.”

WHAT DOES THE SKEPTICAL CHILD ASK?

“How can I solve problems of such enormity?” Encourage her by explaining that she need not solve the problems, she must only do what she is capable of doing. As we read in Pirke Avot, “It is not your responsibility to complete the work, but neither are you free to desist from it.”

WHAT DOES THE INDIFFERENT CHILD SAY?

“It’s not my responsibility.”Persuade him that responsibility cannot be shirked. As Abraham Joshua Heschel writes, “The opposite of good is not evil, the opposite of good is indifference. In a free society where terrible wrongs exist, some are guilty, but all are responsible.”

AND THE UNINFORMED CHILD WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO ASK...

"I love my family, the Weinrebs, and I hope they love me." OR, as it says in Deuteronomy, “You must befriend the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.”At this season of liberation, join us in working for the liberation of all people. Let us respond to our children’s questions with action and justice.

See, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies sitting around chewing gum. –Kramer

THE HEROIC AND VISIONARY WOMEN OF PASSOVER BY JUSTICE RUTH BADER GINSBURG & RABBI LAUREN HOLTZBLATT

On Passover, Jews are commanded to tell the story of the Exodus and to see ourselves as having lived through that story, so that we may better learn how to live our lives today. The stories we tell our children shape what they believe to be possible—which is why at Passover, we must tell the stories of the women who played a crucial role in the Exodus narrative.

The Book of Exodus, much like the Book of Genesis, opens in pervasive darkness. Genesis describes the earth as “unformed and void, with darkness over the surface of the deep.”1 In Exodus, darkness attends the accession of a new Pharaoh who feared the Israelites and so enslaved them. God alone lights the way out of the darkness in Genesis. But in Exodus, God has many partners, first among them, five brave women.

There is Yocheved, Moses’ mother, and Shifra and Puah, the famous midwives. Each defies Pharaoh’s decree to kill the Israelite baby boys. And there is Miriam, Moses’ sister, about whom the following midrash is taught:

[When Miriam’s only brother was Aaron] she prophesied… “my mother is destined to bear a son who will save Israel.” When [Moses] was born the whole house… filled with light[.] [Miriam’s] father arose and kissed her on the head, saying, “My daughter, your prophecy has been fulfilled.” But when they threw [Moses] into the river her father tapped her on the head saying, “Daughter, where is your prophecy?”

So it is written, “And [Miriam] stood afar off to know what would be[come of] the latter part of her prophecy.”

Finally, there is Pharaoh’s daughter Batya, who defies her own father and plucks baby Moses out of the Nile. The Midrash reminds us that Batya knew exactly what she doing:

When Pharaoh’s daughter’s handmaidens saw that she intended to rescue Moses, they attempted to dissuade her, and persuade her to heed her father. They said to her: “Our mistress, it is the way of the world that when a king issues a decree, it is not heeded by the entire world, but his children and the members of his household do observe it, and you wish to transgress your father’s decree?”

But transgress she did. These women had a vision leading out of the darkness shrouding their world. They were women of action, prepared to defy authority to make their vision a reality bathed in the light of the day.

Retelling the heroic stories of Yocheved, Shifra, Puah, Miriam and Batya reminds our daughters that with vision and the courage to act, they can carry forward the tradition those intrepid women launched.

While there is much light in today’s world, there remains in our universe disheartening darkness, inhumanity spawned by ignorance and hate. We see horrific examples in the Middle East, parts of Africa, and Ukraine. The Passover story recalls to all of us—women and men—that with vision and action we can join hands with others of like mind, kindling lights along paths leading out of the terrifying darkness.

GO DOWN MOSES BY JUBILEE SINGERS, 1872

When Israel was in Egypt's land: Let my people go,

Oppress'd so hard they could not stand, Let my People go.

Go down, Moses,

Way down in Egypt's land,

Tell old Pharaoh,

Let my people go.

At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is "Let My People Go."

You very bad man, Jerry. Very bad man. – Babu Bhatt

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. - Allan Stewart Konigsberg

As we rejoice at our deliverance from slavery, we acknowledge that our freedom was hard-earned with a hardened heart. We regret that our freedom came at the cost of the Egyptians’ suffering.Dip a finger or a spoon into your wine glass for a drop for each plague.

These are the ten plagues which God brought down on the Egyptians:

Blood | dam |דָּם

Frogs | tzfardeiya |צְפַרְדֵּֽעַ

Lice | kinim |כִּנִּים

Beasts | arov |עָרוֹב

Cattle disease | dever |דֶּֽבֶר

Boils | sh’chin |שְׁחִין

Hail | barad |בָּרָד

Locusts | arbeh |אַרְבֶּה

Darkness | choshech |חֹֽשֶׁךְ

Death of the Firstborn | makat b’chorot |מַכַּת בְּכוֹרוֹת

What are some modern day plagues that we face today? Feel free to shout them out!

FIRST THEY CAME...BY PASTOR MARTIN NIEMOLLER

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. ( Contributed by Paul Marantz)

OUR LIBERTY IS BOUND TOGETHER,ABORIGINAL ACTIVISTS GROUP, QUEENSLAND, 1970S

If you have come to help me, you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together (Contributed by Emily Marantz).

I know, I know. We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can't You choose someone else? - Reb Tevye

The plagues and our subsequent redemption from Egypt are but one example of the care God has shown for us in our history. Had God but done any one of these kindnesses, it would have been enough – dayeinu.

Ilu ho-tsi, ho-tsi-a-nu,
Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim,
Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim,
Da-ye-nu!
.. Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu,
.. Dai, da-ye-nu, Da-ye-nu, da-ye-nu, da-ye-nu!
..
.. Dai, da-ye-nu, Dai, da-ye-nu,
.. Dai, da-ye-nu, Da-ye-nu, da-ye-nu!

Ilu na-tan, na-tan la-nu,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-Sha-bat,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-Sha-bat,
Da-ye-nu!

Ilu na-tan, na-tan la-nu,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-To-rah,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-To-rah,
Da-ye-nu!

OUR SECOND GLASS OF WINE

בְּכָל־דּוֹר וָדוֹר חַיָּב אָדָם לִרְאוֹת אֶת־עַצְמוֹ, כְּאִלּוּ הוּא יָצָא מִמִּצְרָֽיִם

B’chol dor vador chayav adam lirot et-atzmo, k’ilu hu yatzav mimitzrayim.

In every generation, everyone is obligated to see themselves as though they personally left Egypt. The Torah says “God brought us out from there in order to lead us to and give us the land promised to our ancestors.”May we continue to reach future holidays in peace, joy, love, and contentment.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Drink the second glass of wine!

AN ORANGE ON THE SEDER PLATE?

On all other Passovers, we review all items on the Seder plate....on this Passover, let's discuss the orange.

In the early 1980s, while speaking at Oberlin College Hillel, Susannah Heschel, a well-known Jewish feminist scholar and daughter of Abraham Joshua Heschel, was introduced to an early feminist Haggadah that suggested adding a crust of bread on the seder plate, as a sign of solidarity with Jewish lesbians (which was intended to convey the idea that there's as much room for a lesbian in Judaism as there is for a crust of bread on the seder plate).

Heschel felt that to put bread on the seder plate would be to accept that Jewish lesbians and gay men violate Judaism like  hametz  [leavened food] violates Passover.

So at her next seder, she chose an orange as a symbol of inclusion of gays and lesbians and others who are marginalized within the Jewish community. She offered the orange as a symbol of the fruitfulness for all Jews when lesbians and gay men are contributing and active members of Jewish life...

On bisexuality: It immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Allan Stewart Konigsberg

I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think "That's why I'm not a heterosexual." –George Costanza

Hand-washing     רַחְצָה   (second time, with blessing)

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָנוּ עַל נְטִילַת יָדָיִם

barukh atah Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha-olam asher kiddeshanu b’mits-vo-tav v’tsivanu al n’ti-lat ya-da-yim

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Ruler of the Universe, who makes us holy with commandments and commands us to wash our hands.

It’s interesting that the two words are spelled in Hebrew using almost identical letters, with one slight difference. Matzah is spelled mem-tzaddi-hei, while chametz is spelled chet-mem-tzaddi. The two letters which are different, hei and chet , are actually very similar in appearance; the only difference is that the left leg of the chet rises all the way to the top, while the hei ’s leg remains low.Lowly matzah represents humility.

We sometimes need a reminder to remain humble. Whether it’s in our family life, social circles, or even at work, allowing our egos to get the better of us is never a good thing. A healthy self-esteem is one that occasionally gets out of the way.

So this year, when you eat your matzah at the Seder, take a moment to reflect on its meaning, and how its humble message can be applied to your own life. ( Contributed from Chabad )

Hamotzi lechem min haaretz,
We give thanks to God for MATZAH.
Our voices rise in joyful chorus as our prayer is humbly said,

ברוך אתהה'א‑לוהינו, מלך העולם, המוציא לחם מן הארץ.‏

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל אֲכִילַת מַצָּה.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaruch ata adonai eloheinu melech ha olam, ha motzi lechem min haaretz, Baruch ata adonai eloheinu melech haolam asher kidshanu b mitzvotav v tzivanu al achilat matzah.

Blessed is the maker of bread. Blessed is God who commanded us to eat Matzah!

Viagra is banned during Pesach, along with all other agents causing things to rise.

If you want to avoid an unwelcome Passover invitation, you can say you can't go because I/my wife has a yeast infection.

Q: What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction? A: A matzochist.

WHY DO WE EAT MAROR?

Tradition says that this root is to remind us of the time of our slavery. We force ourselves to taste pain so that we may more readily value pleasure.

Scholars inform us that bitter herbs were eaten at the Spring festival in ancient times. The sharpness of the taste awakened the senses and made the people feel at one with nature's revival. Thus, maror is the stimulus of life, reminding us that struggle is better than the complacent acceptance of injustice.

Let us all now take bitter herb and eat it.

Tevye: Sometimes I think, when it gets too quiet up there, You say to Yourself, "What kind of mischief can I play on My friend Tevye?" - Fiddler on the Roof

BEE M'KOM

Bee m'kom she'ayn ana-shim, Hish-ta-dayl l'hiyot ish

Bee m'kom she'ayn ana-shim, Hish-ta-dayl l'hiyot ish

Where people are less than human, Strive to be human.

MICHAEL DOUGLAS FINDS JUDAISM AND FACES ANTI-SEMITISM

In my opinion there are three reasons anti-Semitism is appearing now with renewed vigilance.

The first is that historically, it always grows more virulent whenever and wherever the economy is bad. In a time when income disparity is growing, when hundreds of millions of people live in abject poverty, some find Jews to be a convenient scapegoat rather than looking at the real source of their problems.

A second root cause of anti-Semitism derives from an irrational and misplaced hatred of Israel. Far too many people see Israel as an apartheid state and blame the people of an entire religion for what, in truth, are internal national-policy decisions. Does anyone really believe that the innocent victims in that kosher shop in Paris and at that bar mitzvah in Denmark had anything to do with Israeli-Palestinian policies or the building of settlements 2,000 miles away?

The third reason is simple demographics. Europe is now home to 25 million to 30 million Muslims, twice the world's entire Jewish population. Within any religious community that large, there will always be an extremist fringe, people who are radicalized and driven with hatred, while rejecting what all religions need to preach — respect, tolerance and love. We're now seeing the amplified effects of that small, radicalized element. With the Internet, its virus of hatred can now speed from nation to nation, helping fuel Europe's new epidemic of anti-Semitism...

French Prime Minister Manuel Valls has made it clear that anti-Semitism violates the morals and spirit of France and that violent anti-Semitic acts are a crime against all French people that must be confronted, combated and stopped. He challenged his nation to tell the world: Without its Jews, France would no longer be France...Pope Francis has used his powerful voice to make his position and that of the Catholic Church clear, saying: “It's a contradiction that a Christian is anti-Semitic. His roots are Jewish. Let anti-Semitism be banished from the heart and life of every man and every woman.” (Contributed by Jill Brenner)

Lonestar: That’s all we needed. A Druish princess. Barf: Funny, she doesn’t look Druish! - Spaceballs

In Talmud Pesachim, Rava teaches, "A person who swallows matzah without chewing fills the mitzvah, the commandment, to eat matzah. However, a person who swallows maror without chewing doesn't fulfill the mitzvah to eat maror."

Matzah is Biblical fast food. Matzah is flat because the Hebrews were in such a hurry to get out of Egypt, they didn't wait for their bread to rise. They rushed out, eating crackers, because they had to eat something. Matzah is optimistic, portable, light and undemanding.

Rashbam says that the mitzvah of eating matzah isn't connected to taste. It's connected to story. The Seder ends with a literal countdown, numbering the days until Shavuot, the holiday when the Hebrews get the Torah. Matzah is the food of the future. We eat matzah on Passover to remind us that we're on our way.

Charoset and Maror are the tastes of the past. Charoset is a sweet memory. Maror is a bitter encounter made fresh. Charoset is the sweetness of family, Maror the bitterness of Holocaust. These are our roots as individual people and as a People. Maror wants attention, and loves to get a reaction. Charoset is sweet, and also thick and heavy. Charoset is said to be the material the Hebrews used to make bricks. Sweetness between people and bricks are made of the same material. The presence of both forms a foundation.

The Hillel sandwich is the three of these together. Matzah, Maror and Charoset. Together, they are the present.

TIME TO EAT! (Hebrew Trans: שֻׁלְחָן עוֹרֵךְ ! But don’t forget when you’re done we’ve got a little more seder to go, including the final two cups of wine!

FINDING AND EATING THE AFIKOMEN | TZAFOON | צָפוּן

Tzafun, which literally means “hidden,” is the part of the seder where we seek what is not obvious, when we look for something other than what is in front of our faces. It is also when we return to that which was broken earlier in the evening and try to make whole again. In this way, Tzafun serves as the organizing principle of the second half of our seder, where we ask ourselves what world we want to see. Then we commit ourselves to making it real.

Refill everyone’s wine glass.

GRACE AFTER THE MEAL

On Passover, this becomes something like an extended toast to God, culminating with drinking our third glass of wine for the evening:

We praise God, whose goodness sustains the world.As it says in the Torah: When you have eaten and are satisfied, give praise to your God who has given you this good earth. We praise God for the earth and for its sustenance. May the source of peace grant peace to us, to the Jewish people, and to the entire world. Amen.

The Third Glass of Wine

The blessing over the meal is immediately followed by another blessing over the wine:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Drink the third glass of wine!

Singing songs that praise God | hallel | הַלֵּל

This is the time set aside for singing. Some of us might sing traditional prayers from the Book of Psalms. Others take this moment for favorites like Chad Gadya & Who Knows One. To celebrate the theme of freedom, we might sing songs from the civil rights movement. Or perhaps your crazy Uncle Rich has some parody lyrics about Passover to the tunes from a musical. We’re at least three glasses of wine into the night, so just roll with it.

Fourth Glass of Wine

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן:

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruit of the vine.

Drink the fourth and final glass of wine

We now open the front door to invite the prophet Elijah to join our seder, and keep this quote in mind:

“I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time. I'd rather give them things than time.” - Larry David

In the Bible, Elijah was a fierce defender of God to a disbelieving people. At the end of his life, rather than dying, he was whisked away to heaven. Tradition holds that he will return in advance of messianic days to herald a new era of peace, so we set a place for Elijah at many joyous, hopeful Jewish occasions, such as a baby’s bris and the Passover seder.

אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַנָּבִיא, אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַתִּשְׁבִּי,

אֵלִיָּֽהוּ, אֵלִיָּֽהוּ,אֵלִיָּֽהוּ הַגִּלְעָדִי.

בִּמְהֵרָה בְיָמֵֽנוּ יָבוֹא אֵלֵֽינוּ

עִם מָשִֽׁיחַ בֶּן דָּוִד,

עִם מָשִֽׁיחַ בֶּן דָּוִד.

Eliyahu hanavi Eliyahu hatishbi Eliyahu, Eliyahu, Eliyahu hagiladi Bimheirah b’yameinu, yavo eileinu Im mashiach ben-David, Im mashiach ben-David

Elijah the prophet, the returning, the man of Gilad: return to us speedily, in our days with the messiah, son of David.

In every generation, we all should feel as though we ourselves had gone forth from Egypt. We end our Passover Seder by saying in unison:

May slavery give way to freedom.
May hate give way to love.
May ignorance give way to wisdom.
May despair give way to hope.
Next year, at this time, may everyone, everywhere, be free!

We are, each of us, working to meet challenges in our lives, but we are grateful to be here together for tonight’s seder. Wherever the next year takes us, we look forward to celebrating Pesach again, together with the friends and family—new and long beloved. (Contributed by Dinah Winnick)

לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בִּירוּשָׁלָֽיִם

L’shana haba-ah biy’rushalayim

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM!

I want to make a good entrance. I never makes good entrances. Jerry: You have made some good exits. -  George Costanza.

I double dare you to cross the Red Sea,

I double dare you to Sing Dayenu with me,

Take off your slave chains and let's get matzah,

Don't be a wicked child,

Hey Had Gadya, can'tcha take a dare?

I double dare You to burn me a bush,

I double dare you to sit on your tush,

And if your hardened heart is starting to show,

I double dare you to let my people go,

I double dare you!

(Songs by The Schvesters, lyrics adapted by the Bruders Weinreb)