INT. COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

JERRY

Do you know why they call it Passover? G-d told Moses that the Israelites should mark their doorposts with lamb’s blood. So that He could “pass over” their houses. And spare them from the plague of the killing of the first born. My question is: Who was put in charge of telling everyone? That’s a big job. There’s a lot counting on that job. What if someone isn’t home? How did they tell them? Did they leave a note? Probably not. The Egyptians could see it. Would have ruined the whole plan. Did they just take the liberty of putting lamb’s blood on the door? What about when that family gets home, sees blood all over their door? “Honey, do you see this? Someone put blood on our door. Someone’s out to get us! You better get off the couch and wipe this off.” “I’m busy! Have our first born do it!”

adapted from The Yada Yada Haggadah - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1793219109

Baruch Atah Adonai, eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu lirdof tzedek

Brucha Yah Shechinah, eloheinu Malkat ha-olam, asher kid’shatnu b’mitzvotayha vitzivatnu lirdof tzedek

Blessed is the Source, who shows us paths to holiness, and commands us to pursue justice. 


Calligraphy by: Ruben Shimonov

Traditionally each of the cups of wine are linked to one of the statements of redemption spoken by God in the Torah “I will bring you out”. “I will deliver you”. “I will redeem you”. "I will gather you to me.” (Exodus 6:6-7).

This cup of wine therefore corresponds to the first statement “I will bring you out of slavery” For women the first step to freedom was equality in the law.  The struggle for this freedom began in the desert, when the daughters of Zelephachad demanded their right on inheritance.  It continues today, as there are still countries in the world where women do not have the right to vote. This cup of wine is dedicated to all of those women, the daughters of Zelephachad, the Suffragettes and modern campaigners, who have fought for women’s equality in the law.

Ritually wash hands without reciting the blessing. The need for hand washing before eating vegetables is no longer a ritual requirement, however, it is included here in the traditional Seder.

As we wash our hands
We pray,
Blessed is the Soul of the Universe,
Breathing us in and breathing us out.
May our breaths continue
And our health and the health of all
Be preserved
In this time of sickness and fear of sickness.
Holy Wholeness,
We take as much responsibility for this as we can
By observing the obligation to wash our hands
Thoroughly:
For as long as it takes to say this prayer.
Amen

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה הָ׳ אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם אֲשֶׁר קִדְּשָׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֹתָיו וְצִוָּנוּ עַל נְטִילַת יָדַיִם

Passover, like many of our holidays, combines the celebration of an event from our Jewish memory with a recognition of the cycles of nature. As we remember the liberation from Egypt, we also recognize the stirrings of spring and rebirth happening in the world around us. The symbols on our table bring together elements of both kinds of celebration.

We now take a vegetable, representing our joy at the dawning of spring after our long, cold winter. Most families use a green vegetable, such as parsley or celery, but some families from Eastern Europe have a tradition of using a boiled potato since greens were hard to come by at Passover time. Whatever symbol of spring and sustenance we’re using, we now dip it into salt water, a symbol of the tears our ancestors shed as slaves. Before we eat it, we recite a short blessing:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הָאֲדָמָה

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree ha-adama.

We praise God, Ruler of Everything, who creates the fruits of the earth.

We look forward to spring and the reawakening of flowers and greenery. They haven’t been lost, just buried beneath the snow, getting ready for reappearance just when we most needed them.

-

We all have aspects of ourselves that sometimes get buried under the stresses of our busy lives. What has this winter taught us? What elements of our own lives do we hope to revive this spring?

Ha lachma anya—this is the bread of affliction.

At the seder we begin as slaves. We eat matzah, the bread of affliction, which leaves us hungry and longing for redemption. It reminds us of a time when we couldn’t control what food was available to us, but ate what we could out of necessity. The matzah enables us to taste slavery— to imagine what it means to be denied our right to live free and healthy lives.

But, while we will soon enjoy a large meal and end the seder night as free people, 963 million people around the world can not leave the affliction of hunger behind. Each day, 25,000 adults and children die from hunger and malnutrition. In fact, a child dies every six seconds because he or she is starving.  Let us awaken to their cries and declare:

Kol dichfin yeitei v’yeichol—let all who are hungry, come and eat.

As we sit at our seder and contemplate our people’s transition from slavery to freedom, let us hope for a time when all who are hungry will eat as free people:

Let all people gain autonomy over their sources of sustenance.

Let local farms flourish and local economies strengthen.

Let exploitation of natural resources cease so that the land may nourish its inhabitants.

Let communities bolster themselves against the destruction wrought by flood and drought.

Let our world leaders recognize food as a basic human right and implement policies and programs that put an end to world hunger.

The Passover seder inspires us to take action and commit ourselves to working toward these and other sustainable changes. As the seder guides us from scarcity to plenty, let us empower others on their paths to sustenance.

Hashata avdei—this year we are still slaves.  Leshanah haba’ah b’nei chorin—next year we will be free people.

This year, hunger and malnutrition are still the greatest risks to good health around the world. Next year, may the bread of affliction be simply a symbol, and may all people enjoy the bread of plenty, the  bread of freedom.

Right now, the world is in the middle of a public health crisis due to COVID-19, the illness caused by the novel coronavirus which emerged in December 2019 in China. In some ways, it could be said we are dealing with two crises: the disease itself, and a refusal of responsibility by our leaders and our neighbors.

As we sit here tonight, safe in our homes, we should take a moment to acknowledge those who are unable to do so--those who are essential workers at grocery stores and pharmacies, or who are on the front lines fighting the pandemic in our hospitals.

Jews are no strangers to the idea of sacrifice. In every age, someone has risen up against us, and we have made sacrifices to survive, and to see the Jewish people come through the other side. In other times, we have had to give up all of our possesions, as we did when we fled Egypt, or have had to hide our faith, as we did during the Inquisitions. But through it all, one thing that we as Jews have never sacrificed is our values, our identity as a people. We have maintained our beliefs and our traditions--which is why we will all forgo  chametz  for the next week, despite our ancestors living on manna from heaven. 

Passover is, at its core, a holiday about 2 values:  tzedek, or justice, and  achraiyut, responsibility. Passover brings with it a number of responsibilities, from telling the story to eating the bitter herbs in commemoration of slavery, to welcoming the stranger and letting those who are hungry join the meal. 

The Torah says this about our obligation to tell the Passover story: "And you shall tell your child on that day, saying, 'It is because of what the Lord did for me when I went forth from Egypt'. And it shall be for a sign unto you upon your hand, and for a memorial between your eyes, that the law of God may be in your mouth; for with a mighty hand did God bring you out of Egypt (Exodus 13:8)

The Hebrew word for Egypt, mitzrayim, translates literally to "the narrow place". We are responsible for telling the story as if we, personally, were delivered from Egypt to remind us all that our liberation is incomplete--we are not all free from the "narrow place", from narrow-minded thinking or man-made crises. There are too many in this world still in chains--child slavery and human trafficking remain huge problems worldwide, and those in poverty are chainted to a system which is stacked against them. They are not free from fear, or from hunger, or from preventable illness. Our most vulnerable communities are most impacted by climate change and pandemics. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, Islamaphobia, and anti-Semitism are plagues upon our society. As Jews, we must recognize these injustices, and remember that it is only by standing together that we can continue the work of liberation begun when we set forth from Egypt.

But this year, we will be standing together...from 6 feet apart.

One responsibility we have as Jews is  bikur cholim, caring for the sick. But right now, one of the best things we can do is try to keep people from getting sick in the first place. For many of us, this has meant staying home as much as possible, limiting our trips to the store, working from home, and keeping our distance from people while out in public. Social distancing guidelines have meant that many of us have not had in-person interactions with anyone but those we live with, aside from the occasional grocery store clerk. That is fundamentall difficult, because people are social creatures by nature. We need each other. And it is also difficult because in many ways, our obligation right now is to  not  do things. Most of the time, when we are called upon in crisis, we are called upon to act. Today, we are called upon to wait. When we ask why tonight is different from all other nights, there are many reasons beyond the matzo and marror. There is the fact that we are doing Seder virtually this year. There is the fact that many of us have not had physical contact with another person in weeks. There is the fact that we may, in fact, feel trapped in our current situation. 

But tonight, we will begin the journey out of  Mitzrayim  once again. We will confront the barriers to  tzedek, to justice, that we as Jews are called upon to challenge. We will be there for each other, from far away. And we will continue the traditions that our families have passed on, from generation to generation. 

And perhaps in the end, we don't need next year in Jerusalem. We just need next year, together.

This is scary work. It can be overwhelming, and it can make us feel alone. As we transition into the story of Exodus, we remind ourselves that we're here in community. We commit to our own individual healing not just for ourselves, but for each other; not just with ourselves, but with each other.

Through sharing our brokenness, we make community. Individual and collective liberation: these are not two separate processes. It is one journey.

By Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Rabbi Lauren Holzblatt

On Passover, Jews are commanded to tell the story of the Exodus and to see ourselves as having lived through that story, so that we may better learn how to live our lives today. The stories we tell our children shape what they believe to be possible—which is why at Passover, we must tell the stories of the women who played a crucial role in the Exodus narrative.

The Book of Exodus, much like the Book of Genesis, opens in pervasive darkness. Genesis describes the earth as “unformed and void, with darkness over the surface of the deep.”1 In Exodus, darkness attends the accession of a new Pharaoh who feared the Israelites and so enslaved them. God alone lights the way out of the darkness in Genesis. But in Exodus, God has many partners, first among them, five brave women.

There is Yocheved, Moses’ mother, and Shifra and Puah, the famous midwives. Each defies Pharaoh’s decree to kill the Israelite baby boys. And there is Miriam, Moses’ sister, about whom the following midrash is taught:

[When Miriam’s only brother was Aaron] she prophesied… “my mother is destined to bear a son who will save Israel.” When [Moses] was born the whole house… filled with light[.] [Miriam’s] father arose and kissed her on the head, saying, “My daughter, your prophecy has been fulfilled.” But when they threw [Moses] into the river her father tapped her on the head saying, “Daughter, where is your prophecy?” So it is written, “And [Miriam] stood afar off to know what would be[come of] the latter part of her prophecy.”2

Finally, there is Pharaoh’s daughter Batya, who defies her own father and plucks baby Moses out of the Nile. The Midrash reminds us that Batya knew exactly what she doing:

When Pharaoh’s daughter’s handmaidens saw that she intended to rescue Moses, they attempted to dissuade her, and persuade her to heed her father. They said to her: “Our mistress, it is the way of the world that when a king issues a decree, it is not heeded by the entire world, but his children and the members of his household do observe it, and you wish to transgress your father’s decree?”3

But transgress she did.

These women had a vision leading out of the darkness shrouding their world. They were women of action, prepared to defy authority to make their vision a reality bathed in the light of the day.

Retelling the heroic stories of Yocheved, Shifra, Puah, Miriam and Batya reminds our daughters that with vision and the courage to act, they can carry forward the tradition those intrepid women launched.

While there is much light in today’s world, there remains in our universe disheartening darkness, inhumanity spawned by ignorance and hate. We see horrific examples in the Middle East, parts of Africa, and the Ukraine. The Passover story recalls to all of us—women and men—that with vision and action we can join hands with others of like mind, kindling lights along paths leading out of the terrifying darkness.

1 Genesis 1:2 2 Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 14a 3 Babylonian Talmud, Sotah 12b 

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a Justice of the United States Supreme Court. Appointed by President William Jefferson Clinton in 1993, she is known as a strong voice for gender equality, the rights of workers, and separation between church and state.

Rabbi Lauren Holtzblatt is a rabbi at Adas Israel Congregation in Washington, D.C.. She is co-creator of two nationally recognized community engagement projects—MakomDC and the Jewish Mindfulness Center of Washington.

Image Credit: Time Magazine https://time.com/3823889/ruth-bader-ginsburg-2015-time-100/

The four questions are asked every year, and we are meant to pretend not to know the answers. The point of these questions is to inspire you to ask more questions. Tonight you should question everything. The youngest person at the table is meant to read them, but usually we all sing them together.

מַה נִּשְּׁתַּנָה הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מִכָּל הַלֵּילוֹת
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין חָמֵץ וּמַצָּה,

-הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה כּוּלוֹ מַצָּה.
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין שְׁאָר יְרָקוֹת,

- הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה מָרוֹר.
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אֵין אֶנוּ מַטְבִּילִין אֲפִילוּ פַּעַם אֶחָת,

- הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה שְׁתֵּי פְעָמִים.
שֶׁבְּכָל הַלֵּילוֹת אָנוּ אוֹכְלִין בֵּין יוֹשְׁבִין וּבֵין מְסֻבִּין,

- הַלַּיְלָה הַזֶּה כֻּלָנו מְסֻבִּין

Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot?

Sheb’khol haleilot anu okhlin hametz umatzoh; halailah hazeh, kuloh matzoh.

Sheb’khol haleilot anu okhlin sh’ar y’rakot; halailah hazeh, maror.

Sheb’khol haleilot ein anu matbilin afilu pa’am ehat; halailah hazeh, shtei f’amim.

Sheb’khol haleilot anu okhlin bein yoshvin uvein m’subin; halailah hazeh, kulanu m’subin.

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Why is this night different from all other nights?

On all other nights we eat leavened products and matzoh. Why on this night do we eat only matzoh?

On all other nights we eat all vegetables. Why on this night do we eat only bitter herbs?

On all other nights, we don’t dip our food even once. Why on this night do we dip twice?

On all other nights we eat sitting or reclining. Why on this night do we only recline?

As we tell the story, we think about it from all angles. Our tradition speaks of four different types of children who might react differently to the Passover seder. It is our job to make our story accessible to all the members of our community, so we think about how we might best reach each type of child:

What does the wise child say?

The wise child asks, What are the testimonies and laws which God commanded you?

You must teach this child the rules of observing the holiday of Passover.

What does the wicked child say?

The wicked child asks, What does this service mean to you?

To you and not to himself! Because he takes himself out of the community and misses the point, set this child’s teeth on edge and say to him: “It is because of what God did for me in taking me out of Egypt.” Me, not him. Had that child been there, he would have been left behind.

What does the simple child say?

The simple child asks, What is this?

To this child, answer plainly: “With a strong hand God took us out of Egypt, where we were slaves.”

What about the child who doesn’t know how to ask a question?

Help this child ask.

Start telling the story:

“It is because of what God did for me in taking me out of Egypt.”

-

Do you see yourself in any of these children? At times we all approach different situations like each of these children. How do we relate to each of them?

Sefer Shemot illustrated through LEGOs

Long ago, Pharaoh ruled the land of Egypt. He enslaved the Jewish people and made them work very hard building his cities.   song: Bang bang bang Phaoraoh was especially cruel to Jewish children. One mother hid her baby, Moses, in a basket in the river. Pharoah's daughter found him and took him home to live in the palace. Moses grew up. He saw the slaves working so hard. He had a fight about it and ran away to be a shepherd. While he was looking after the sheep, he saw a bush on fire that did not burn up and heard God's voice telling him to go back to Egypt, to tell Pharoah to let the Jewish people go.  Song: when Israel was in Egypt land When Moses went to Pharoah, he said "Let my people go". Pharaoh said "No". So, God sent the 1st plague -Blood. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharaoh said "No". So, God sent the 2nd plague - Frogs. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharoah said, "No". Song: One morning when Pharoah woke in his bed The 3rd plague was Lice. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharaoh said, "No". The 4th plague was Wild Beasts. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharoah said, "No". The 5th plague was Cattle Disease. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharoah said, "No". The 6th plague was Boils. Moses went to Pharoah. He said "Let my people go". Pharaoh said," No". The 7th plague was Hail stones. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharoah said, "No". The 8th plague was Locusts. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharaoh said, "No". The 9th plague was Darkness. Moses went to Pharoah. He said, "Let my people go". Pharoah said, "No". The last plague was Death. Pharoah said "Yes"   song: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10  plagues in Egypt's land The people got ready to leave very quickly, so quickly that their bread didn't have time to rise; it baked into matzah. They walked through the desert to the sea. Pharoah's soldiers chased after them. When they got to the sea, Moses held up his his staff and the sea divided. The Jewish people walked through the sea to freedom and a new future.

(RAPPED TO THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR THEME SONG)

Now this is a story all about how

Some plagues came and flipped my smile into a frown

Now I need to pop this boil (Plague 6) – hey watch out for that bear (Plague 4)!

I’ll tell you how our firstborns were murdered (Plague 10) ’cause of Moses’s dare

Just West of the Nile born and raised,

Racing chariots was how I spent most of my days,

Being groomed for leadership, women galore,

Drinking with Moses some crazy tall pours

When my dad got sick and like that I understood

Egypt was mine - for bad or for good

I looked around at all the Israelites and man I got scared

Don’t overrun my home – I really did care!

The Israelites begged and pleaded with me day after day

’Cause I enslaved and made ’em bundle a crap-ton of hay

Making bricks for my cities, getting whipped in every pit

Then one day Moses murdered an Egyptian he hit

After many years away Moses came back just like that

He said God wanted me to free them – wearing a little Jew hat

I said I don’t think so, you need a breath of fresh air

Then the Nile turned to blood (Plague 1) – man it really wasn’t fair

Well, other plagues followed – all my cattle got gout (Plague 5)

Locusts filled up the whole sky (Plague 8), I started to doubt

In the end it was a no brainer, the choice just really clear

I let them go, then changed my mind, who else would make my beer?

I whistled for my chariot and when it came near

Its wheels were covered in frogs (Plague 2) – and hail (Plague 7) had

shattered the mirror

’Twas for the best because of lice (Plague 3) I’d shaved all my hair

But I thought “Man at least it’s dark” (Plague 9) – no one will be aware

I pulled up to the sea not realizing my fate

And I yelled to my soldiers – “Those Israelites are haters”

They chased them onto dry land – no time to beware

Those waves crashed down, and my kingdom was bare

When Israel came out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a people of strange language, Judah became His sanctuary, Israel His dominion.

The sea saw it, and fled.  

The Jordan turned backwards.

The mountains skipped like rams, the hills like young sheep.

What aileth thee, o' sea, that though flee-ist?  Thou Jordan, that thou turnest backwards?

Ye mountains that ye skip like rams, ye hills like young sheep?

Tremble, though earth, in the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the G-d of Jacob;

Who turned the rock into a pool of water, the flint into a fountain of waters

As we rejoice at our deliverance from slavery, we acknowledge that our freedom was hard-earned. We regret that our freedom came at the cost of the Egyptians’ suffering, for we are all human beings. We pour out a drop of wine for each of the plagues as we recite them to signify having a little less sweetness in our celebration. Dip a finger or a spoon into your wine glass for a drop for each plague.

These are the ten plagues:

BLOOD / dam
FROGS / tzfardeiya
LICE / kinim
BEASTS / arov
CATTLE DISEASE / dever
BOILS / sh’chin
HAIL / barad
LOCUSTS / arbeh
DARKNESS / choshech
DEATH OF THE FIRSTBORN / makat b’chorot

Even though we are happy that the jews escaped slavery, let us once more take a drop of wine as we together recite the names of these modern plagues:

HUNGER
WAR
TERRORISM
GREED
BIGOTRY
INJUSTICE
POVERTY
IGNORANCE
POLLUTION OF THE EARTH
INDIFFERENCE TO SUFFERING

The traditional Haggadah lists ten plagues that afflicted the Egyptians. We live in a very different world, but Passover is a good time to remember that, even after our liberation from slavery in Egypt, there are still many challenges for us to meet. Here are ten “modern plagues”:

Inequity - Access to affordable housing, quality healthcare, nutritious food, good schools, and higher education is far from equal. The disparity between rich and poor is growing, and opportunities for upward mobility are limited.

Entitlement - Too many people consider themselves entitled to material comfort, economic security, and other privileges of middle-class life without hard work.

Fear - Fear of “the other” produces and reinforces xenophobia, anti-immigrant sentiment, antisemitism, homophobia, and transphobia.

Greed - Profits are a higher priority than the safety of workers or the health of the environment. The top one percent of the American population controls 42% of the country’s financial wealth, while corporations send jobs off-shore and American workers’ right to organize and bargain collectively is threatened.

Distraction - In this age of constant connectedness, we are easily distracted by an unending barrage of information, much of it meaningless, with no way to discern what is important.

Distortion of reality - The media constructs and society accepts unrealistic expectations, leading to eating disorders and an unhealthy obsession with appearance for both men and women.

Unawareness - It is easy to be unaware of the consequences our consumer choices have for the environment and for workers at home and abroad. Do we know where or how our clothes are made? Where or how our food is produced? The working conditions? The impact on the environment?

Discrimination - While we celebrate our liberation from bondage in Egypt, too many people still suffer from discrimination. For example, blacks in the United States are imprisoned at more than five times the rate of whites, and Hispanics are locked up at nearly double the white rate. Women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by a man. At 61 cents to the dollar, the disparity is even more shocking in Jewish communal organization.

Silence - Every year, 4.8 million cases of domestic violence against American women are reported. We do not talk about things that are disturbing, such as rape, sex trafficking, child abuse, domestic violence, and elder abuse, even though they happen every day in our own communities.

Feeling overwhelmed and disempowered - When faced with these modern “plagues,” how often do we doubt or question our own ability to make a difference? How often do we feel paralyzed because we do not know what to do to bring about change?

Avadim hayinu hayinu. Ata b'nei chorin.

Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now, we are free.

Each year we tell the story of the Exodus, and of the Passover, as a reminder that freedom is something we cannot take for granted, and that it something that too-often comes with a price.  This year, we remember the sacrifices that have been made to keep us free, and the work that is still needed to bring freedom to those who still fight for it.  

This year, we celebrate where we are, for it is what we are free to do.

Next year we hope to celebrate in Jerusalem, in a world where everyone is free.

The Passover Symbols

We have now told the story of Passover… but wait! We’re not quite done. There are still some symbols on our seder plate we haven’t talked about yet. Rabban Gamliel would say that whoever didn’t explain the shank bone, matzah, and marror (or bitter herbs) hasn’t done Passover justice.

The shank bone represents the Pesach, the special lamb sacrifice made in the days of the Temple for the Passover holiday. It is called the pesach, from the Hebrew word meaning “to pass over,” because God passed over the houses of our ancestors in Egypt when visiting plagues upon our oppressors.

The matzah reminds us that when our ancestors were finally free to leave Egypt, there was no time to pack or prepare. Our ancestors grabbed whatever dough was made and set out on their journey, letting their dough bake into matzah as they fled.

The bitter herbs provide a visceral reminder of the bitterness of slavery, the life of hard labor our ancestors experienced in Egypt.

The Orange

Even after one has encountered the collection of seemingly unconnected foods on the seder plate year after year, it’s fun to ask what it’s all about. Since each item is supposed to spur discussion, it makes sense that adding something new has been one way to introduce contemporary issues to a seder.

So how was it that the orange found its place on the seder plate as a Passover symbol of feminism and women’s rights?

The most familiar version of the story features Susannah Heschel, daughter of Abraham Joshua Heschel and scholar in her own right, giving a speech about the ordination of women clergy. From the audience, a man declared, “A woman belongs on the bima like an orange belongs on the seder plate!” However, Heschel herself tells a different story.

During a visit to Oberlin College in the early 1980s,she read a feminist Haggadah that called for placing a piece of bread on the seder plate as a symbol of the need to include gays and lesbians in Jewish life. Heschel liked the idea of putting something new on the seder plate to represent suppressed voices, but she was uncomfortable with using chametz, which she felt would invalidate the very ritual it was meant to enhance. She chose instead to add an orange and to interpret it as a symbol of all marginalized populations.

Miriam’s Cup

A decade later, the ritual of Miriam’s Cup emerged as another way to honor women during the seder. Miriam’s Cup builds upon the message of the orange, transforming the seder into an empowering and inclusive experience.

Although Miriam, a prophet and the sister of Moses, is never mentioned in the traditional Haggadah text, she is one of the central figures in the Exodus story.

According to Jewish feminist writer Tamara Cohen, the practice of filling a goblet with water to symbolize Miriam’s inclusion in the seder originated at a Rosh Chodesh group in Boston in 1989. The idea resonated with many people and quickly spread.

Miriam has long been associated with water. The rabbis attribute to Miriam the well that traveled with the Israelites throughout their wandering in the desert. In the Book of Numbers, the well dries up immediately following Miriam’s death. Of course, water played a role in Miriam’s life from the first time we meet her, watching over the infant Moses on the Nile, through her triumphant crossing of the Red Sea.

There is no agreed-upon ritual for incorporating Miriam’s Cup into the seder, but there are three moments in the seder that work particularly well with Miriam’s story.

1) As Moses’s sister, Miriam protected him as an infant and made sure he was safely received by Pharaoh’s daughter. Some seders highlight this moment by invoking her name at the start of the Maggid section when we begin telling the Passover story.

2) Other seders, such as this one, incorporate Miriam’s cup when we sing songs of praise during the Maggid and later during the Hallel as a reminder that Miriam led the Israelites in song and dance during the Exodus.

3) Still others place Miriam’s Cup alongside the cup we put out for Elijah.

Just as there is no set time in the seder to use Miriam’s Cup, there is no set ritual or liturgy either. Some fill the cup with water at the start of the seder; others fill the cup during the seder. Some sing Debbie Friedman’s “Miriam’s Song”; others sing “Miriam Ha-Neviah.” As with all seder symbols, Miriam’s Cup is most effective when it inspires discussion.

What does Miriam mean to you? How do all of her roles, as sister, protector, prophet, leader, singer, and dancer, contribute to our understanding of the Exodus story? Who are the Miriams of today?

If we agree to serve one volunteer committee, but not two or three… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we work 45 hours in a week, but not 60… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we serve two courses for Shabbat dinner, but not three or four… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we buy a dessert, instead of making one from scratch… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we wash the floor every other Friday morning, instead of every Friday morning… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we clear away the clutter, but don’t dust the shelves… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we buy a gift certificate, instead of spending hours searching for the perfect gift… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we usually schlep to the less expensive supermarket, but not always… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we take on one of the big projects coming up at work, but not all of them… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we go to one of the events organized by our friends this week, but not all them… דַּיֵּנוּ

If we do what we can, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour… דַּיֵּנוּ

Be patient.
Expand your sense of the possible.
Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
Understand humility.
Foster dignity.
Endure.

10 of the 25 "Principles of Adult Behavior" , by John Perry Barlow.

Hamotzi thanks God for bringing bread from the earth. This bread results from a partnership between God and humanity: God provides the raw materials and people harvest, grind, and bake. So too must we remember that combating human trafficking requires partnerships: among survivors, allies, lawyers, social workers, law enforcement, diplomats, people of faith…the circles of involvement are ever-expanding.

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha’olam, hamotzi lechem min ha’aretz.

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה ה' אֱלֹֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶך הָעוֹלָם הַמּוֹצִיא לֶחֶם מִן הָאָרֶץ.

Blessed are You ETERNAL our God, Master of time and space, who brings forth bread from the earth.

This laden history has often contributed to some of our families' inability to accept the idea of intermarriage. We acknowledge that Jewish people have struggled and been enslaved in the past and we stretch to transform this defeated posture. We also know that sometimes our own enslavement or emotional bondage prevents us from being open to hearing each other in our marriage. Loyalties to families of origin need to be honored, unless they prevent us from creating true intimacy. Bitter places are stuck places, and we commit ourselves tonight to moving beyond our own positions to find new points of intersection and connection.

Tonight we dip our bitterness in the sweetness of charoset. Charoset, the sweet mixture of fruits and nuts, symbolizes the mortar of the bricks of the Israelites. It is also the mortar of commitment and interdependence that enabled the Jewish community to survive through those centuries of oppression. It is the building blocks of hope and tradition, which are sweet. We take our maror of fear, and by dipping it into the sweetness we create a new model that honors the fear and suffering yet holds out hope for the future.

By blending our maror and charoset, we acknowledge the blending of faiths and traditions that sit around this table here tonight. We know it is not always sweet and it is not always bitter, but that life is a mixture of both. Just as our taste buds are designed for sweet, salty, sour and bitter, so we taste the range of textures of our relationships. By our dipping tonight we bring together the bitter and the sweet for something new to emerge.

Rav Kook says each of us took something from that experience that the world needs before it can be fully redeemed.  Our father Abraham knew well how to argue with God, but he didn't argue when told his descendants would be slaves for 400 years.  We needed to live through the affliction, and come out onh the other side, in order to empower others to do the same.  We remind ourselves, each year, of our history and our responsibility. 

We are commanded not to oppress the alien in our midst.  That alone requires much intention.  But, like God and our neighbor, the Torah commands we love the alien, the stranger, the undocumented farmworker or nanny.  Why?  Because we were aliens in the Land of Mitzrayim.  The Torah is explicit:  our experience in Egypt demand us to empathize with those who are in similar states of vulnerability.  That's our contribution to redemption.

Break some bread (or matzah!) and enjoy the festive meal!

Talk about the things that matter in life: family, global refugee policies / solutions, what’s happening with the Star Wars expanded universe!
When you’re wrapping up, take 5 minutes to reflect on the things in life you’re grateful for (go beyond health, family and friends), and try to summarize them all into a single sentence that you write down to share later.

It's almost time to eat! Before we chow down, let's fill that third glass of wine and give thanks for the meal we're about to consume.

On Passover, this becomes something like an extended toast to the forces that brought us together:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָּפֶן

Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha-olam, borei p’ree hagafen.

Group says: We praise force of the world, that created the fruit of the vine, that sustains the world.

[Everyone: Drink the third glass of wine.]

Now, LET'S EAT!

In this spirit, consider symbolically setting aside a table setting or opening the door to the 60 million refugees and displaced people around the world still waiting to be free — for all those who deserve to be welcomed in not as strangers but as fellow human beings.

The prize for finding the afikoman in my house was 5 dollars.

To put this in context, the starting pay for chores at the age of five was a nickel and this rate was raised five cents every birthday.

This means that finding the wrapped up piece of shmura matzo was equivalent to anywhere from 6 months to just under 2 years salary.

Needless to say, this was a coveted reward.

My brother won this purse every year for the first seven years of his life. Unimpeded by siblings, finding the afikoman was merely a formality to the end of the seder. This was until I turned 2, and could walk. Granted, there was a five year age difference between us, but my parents allowed me a handicap. As a toddler, not only was I given a head start, but the adults gently 'guided me' in the direction of the 'hidden napkin' glaringly dangling out of the couch cushion right in front of my face. Some years my brother didn't even get to look. As I got older, and my motor skills more advanced, the competition became fierce. My father took great joy in the hiding. My mother who didn't want the house destroyed came up with two simple rules:1)It could not be in the entertainment center, the dining room, the kitchen, any of the bedrooms, the bathrooms, the garage, or any cabinets and 2)We were not to make a mess, everything had to be cleaned up. What this amounted to was my brother and I gingerly walking around the living room, gently sorting through magazines and under tables. My brother, being the smarter of the two of us, took a detective-like approach to this endeavor. Before looking, he would rule out the places that it couldn't be based on where it had been hidden in years past. Then he would systematically go about the living room removing objects one by one. I however had a much more opportunistic strategy. I would pretend to look for the afikoman very close by him. Right when he found it, I would lunge and seize it, flailing it about in the air, exclaiming victory. With no referee (my parents were in the other room talking to their friends) it was his word against mine and as the younger of two I always got my way.

By the time my sister came into the picture the finding of the afikoman had been split into two age categories. Uninterested in winning Beanie Babies, I opted out of the 'ten and under' search. He may have won it now and a gain, I might have even let him have a few, but for the most part when it came to Passover I was ten dollars richer. The money was of course inevitably squandered on the two vices we were denied: junk food and video games.

Ruth’s Cup: A New Passover Ritual Honoring Jewish Diversity

by Rabbi Heidi Hoover 

Mitzrayim, the Hebrew word for Egypt, is also interpreted to mean “narrow places.” At Passover, we celebrate being released from the restrictions that limit us and make our lives smaller. We are not fully free as long as we are kept down by attitudes and conditions that are unjust.

Many Jews assume that “real Jews” look a certain way and have one path to Judaism — being born Jewish. When confronted with Jews who don’t fit these stereotypes, even well-meaning Jews may treat them as less Jewish. Jews of color and/or those who have converted to Judaism find that other Jews can act insensitively out of ignorance.

In the biblical book that bears her name, Ruth is a Moabite who marries an Israelite living in Moab. After her husband’s death, Ruth insists on accompanying her Israelite mother-in-law, Naomi, when she returns to Israel. There she cares for Naomi and ends up marrying one of her relatives. Because of Ruth’s declaration to Naomi: “Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16), she is considered the prototypical convert to Judaism. Ruth becomes the great-grandmother of King David, from whom our tradition says the Messiah will descend.

The following ritual—Ruth’s Cup—may be added after Elijah’s Cup or anywhere in the seder. It honors not only those who have converted to Judaism, but the overall diversity of the Jewish people:

Leader

At Passover we fill a cup with wine for Elijah and open the door to welcome him to our seder. Elijah symbolizes our hope for the Messianic age, when the world will be perfected, and all people will live in harmony and peace.

We also fill a cup of wine for Ruth, the first Jew by choice and great-grandmother of King David. We open the door to signify our welcome of Ruth and all who follow in her footsteps—those who become part of our people, part of our diversity.

All rise, face the open door, and read together:

We declare that we do not have to wait for the Messianic age to make sure that every Jew feels fully comfortable and integrated into our people, no matter what their skin, hair or eye color is; no matter what their name sounds like; no matter how they became Jewish—through birth or through conversion, as a child or as an adult.

Close the door and be seated.

May your Passover be liberating and enlightening!

Optional discussion question –  Share a time when you felt like an outsider but were actively welcomed into a new community or space. How did that happen? How did it make you feel?

download here:https://globaljews.org/resources/publications/ruths-cup/

Leader:

Chaverim vachaveirot n'vareich!

Let us praise God!

Group:

Y'hi shem Adonai m'vorach mei-atah v'ad olam.

Praised be the name of God, now and forever.

Leader:

Y'hi shem Adonai m'vorach mei-atah v'ad olam.
Birshut hachevrah, n'vareich Eloheinu she-achalnu mishelo.

Praised be the name of God, now and forever.
Praised be our God, of whose abundance we have eaten.

Group:

Baruch Eloheinu she-achalnu mishelo uv'tuvo chayinu.

Praised be our God, of whose abundance we have eaten, and by whose goodness we live.

Leader:

Baruch Eloheinu she-achalnu mishelo uv'tuvo chayinu.
Baruch hu uvaruch sh'mo.

Praised be our God, of whose abundance we have eaten, and by whose goodness we live. Praised be the Eternal God.

All:

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,
hazan et haolam kulo b'tuvo, b'chein b'chesed uv'rachamim.
Hu notein lechem l'chol basar ki l'olam chasdo.
Uv'tuvo hagadol tamid lo chasar lanu,
v'al yechsar lanu, mazon l'olam va-ed,
baavur sh'mo hagadol.
Ki hu El zan um'farneis lakol umeitiv lakol,
umeichin mazon l'chol b'riyotav asher bara.
Baruch atah Adonai, hazan et hakol.

Sovereign God of the universe, we praise You: Your goodness sustains the world. You are the God of grace, love, and compassion, the Source of bread for all who live; for Your love is everlasting. In Your great goodness we need never lack for food; You provide food enough for all. We praise You, O God, Source of food for all who live.

Kakatuv: v'achalta v'savata, uveirachta et Adonai Elohecha al haaretz hatovah asher natan lach. Baruch atah Adonai, al haaretz v'al hamazon.

As it is written: When you have eaten and are satisfied, give praise to your God who has given you this good earth. We praise You, O God, for the earth and for its sustenance.

HaRachaman, hu yimloch aleinu l'olam va-ed.
HaRachaman, hu yitbarach bashamayim uvaaretz.
HaRachaman, hu yishlach b'rachah m'rubah babayit hazeh,
v'al shulchan zeh she-achalnu alav.
HaRachaman, hu yishlach lanu et Eliyahu HaNavi,
zachur latov, vivaser lanu b'sorot tovot, y'shuot v'nechamot.

Merciful One, be our God forever. Merciful One, heaven and earth alike are blessed by Your presence. Merciful One, bless this house, this table at which we have eaten. Merciful One, send us tidings of Elijah, glimpses of good to come, redemption and consolation.

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu yaaseh shalom,
aleinu v'al kol Yisrael, v'imru amen.
Adonai oz l'amo yitein, Adonai y'vareich et amo vashalom.

May the Source of peace grant peace to us, to all Israel, and to all the world. Amen. May the Eternal grant strength to our people. May the Eternal bless our people with peace.

This cup is left undrunk until such time as the halakhic question is answered: Do the Jews in Israel drink the fifth cup which corresponds to the fifth redemptive expression in Exodus, “And I will bring you into the land…” (Exodus 6:8), or must every Jew be in Israel before that fifth cup may be drunk? There is a belief in the talmudic world that Elijah, who did not die in the manner of all human beings, will return to this world and will be the one to settle this kind of halakhic conundrum. We then open the door and recite a series of Biblical verses which all contain one theme: The hope that God manifest His anger towards those who reject the Divine, such as Pharaoh and the Egyptians, the villains of the Pesach story. We begin by proclaiming, “Pour out your fury on the nations that do not know You, upon the kingdoms that do not invoke Your name. For they have devoured Jacob and desolated his home” (Psalms 79:6-).

Why do we open the door at this point in the seder? Have we been sitting too long, and could we use a bit of fresh air to enable us to continue the proceedings? Is it to offer our hospitality to Elijah who is invited at that moment to resolve a halakhic dispute, and if he can be enticed to come, will it mean that he is heralding the coming of the Messianic era and a better world? Is it to declare to those inside our home and outside it, that with our faith in God who, as described by the verses will protect us, we are not afraid to implore God to defeat our enemies – enemies who in the past were known to be standing outside, listening, intending to find reasons to turn us over to the authorities? Or, as we recite these vindictive verses, do we simply wish to make sure that ‘the coast is clear’? Perhaps, like so much of Judaism, it is a combination of reasons which have come together over time, responding to historical, psychological and sociological factors that create both custom and the complicated rationale behind those customs.

What do you think?

Rabbi Dr. Howard Markose teaches Bible and Biblical Hebrew Grammar.

There is a word in Hebrew — Teshuvah — that means return. It is an acknowledgement that there is always a chance for forgiveness, redemption and change. Our traditions teach that Passover is open to all. Everyone is welcome at this table. There is always room. Because no one is ever turned away, there is always an opportunity for a rebirth of spirit.

As a sign of hospitality to all, we open the door to our homes and symbolically invite anyone who wants to join us to come inside.

At this point, the children open the door.

Leader:
Let us all refill our cups.

Leader picks up cup for all to see.

This is the cup of hope.

The seder tradition involves pouring a cup for the Hebrew prophet Elijah. For millennia, Jews opened the door for him, inviting him join their seders, hoping that he would bring with him a messiah to save the world.

Yet the tasks of saving the world - once ascribed to prophets, messiahs and gods - must be taken up by us mere mortals, by common people with shared goals. Working together for progressive change,we can bring about the improvement of the world, tiqqun ha-olam - for justice and for peace, we can and we must.

Leader:

Let us now symbolically open the door of our seder to invite in all people of good will and all those in needto work together with us for a better world.Let us raise our fourth cup as we dedicate ourselves to tiqqun olam, the improvement of the world.

Everyone:

"L' Tiqqun Olam!"

All drink the fourth cup.

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu melekh ha'olam, borei pri ha'gafen.

This fifth cup of wine has passed down through generations of women, beginning with Sarah.  It has spilled and, yet, like the bush on fire but never consumed, the glass continues to overflow.  The Kabbalists (the Maharal, 16th c., Prague) believe that we drink 4 cups of wine in memory of our 4 matriarchs.  The fifth cup, named for Miriam who led us through the straights of Reed Sea in song and dance, is in memory of Zelophechad’s five daughters.  They marked the beginning of gender equality before the law.

Games: Repeats from previous years but let's stay sharp!

Would you Rather?

• Eat only maror the rest of your life OR drink only saltwater?
• Be covered from head to toe in boils OR covered from head to toe in lice?
• Recline whenever you eat OR dip everything you eat?
• Die from extreme Marror Heart Burn or from Matzah Choking?
• Hit the Dog OR Bite the Cat?
• Still be in Eygpt OR still be in school 100 hours a week?
• Drink 4 cups of maror juice OR 10 drops of blood?
• Eat kosher for Passover all year round OR eat exclusively bread on Pesach?
• Eat only matzah brei all year OR eat only cholent?
• Have freed the Jews but brought them to Uganda OR Enslaved the Jews but enslaved them in Israel?
• Live always in darkness but be rich OR live always in light but be poor?
• Have a 1 hour seder with gourmet food at end OR a 9 hour seder with just OK food?
• Have the 4 sons as your children OR have an only child that is wise?

LIGHTNING ROUND!!!!

How many of these can you answer in a minute…!!!

• Why do we eat Matzah on Passover? To remind us of the dough that didn’t have time to rise as our forefathers were rushed out of Egypt.
• Name the Four Sons? The wise, the wicked, the simple, and the one who doesn’t know how to ask.
• How many cups of wine do we drink at the Seder? Four.
• What things connected with Seder night are associated with the number four? Four sons, four cups of wine, four questions.
• Why four cups of wine? To celebrate our freedom.
• What is the fourth plague? Whild beasts/ ערוב
• Why do we dip in the Charoset? The Charoset represents the cement that the Jews used to cement the bricks together in their slavery. Today we dip as a sign of freedom.
• What does the shank bone remind us of? The Passover lamb which our forefathers sacrificed to God when they came out of Egypt.
• Can you say all ten plagues in order? Blood, frogs, lice, wild beasts, pestilence, boils, hail, locusts, darkness, plague of the firstborn.
• Can you say the ten plagues backwards? Plague of the firsborn, darkness, locusts, hail, boils, pestilence, wild beasts, lice, frogs, blood.
• Who am I? I am the last thing you eat before you bensch, say the blessing after the meal. There are often lots of fights over who hides me and who finds me. Who am I? The Afikoman.
• Who am I? I am one of the key figures in the story of the going out of Egypt. I lost my whole army and half my country in my stubbornness. Who am I? Pharoah.
• Who am I? I am one of the plagues. I made the Egyptians itch like crazy all over. Who am I? Lice.
• Who am I? My name does not appear once in the Haggadah, but I went several times to Pharoah with my brother to try and persuade him to let the Jewish people go. Who am I? Moses.
• Who do we fill a cup for on the Seder table and hope he comes and joins our Seder? Elijah.

Chad Gadya

חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא

דְזַבִּין אַבָּא בִּתְרֵי זוּזֵי

חַד גַּדְיָא, חַד גַּדְיָא

Chad gadya, chad gadya

Dizabin abah bitrei zuzei

Chad gadya, chad gadya.

One little goat, one little goat:

Which my father brought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The cat came and ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The dog came and bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The stick came and beat the dog

That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The fire came and burned the stick

That beat the dog that bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The water came and extinguished the

Fire that burned the stick

That beat the dog that bit the cat

That ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The ox came and drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The butcher came and killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The angle of death came and slew

The butcher who killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

One little goat, one little goat:

The Holy One, Blessed Be He came and

Smote the angle of death who slew

The butcher who killed the ox,

That drank the water

That extinguished the fire

That burned the stick that beat the dog That bit the cat that ate the goat,

Which my father bought for two zuzim.

Ilu ho-tsi, ho-tsi-a-nu,
Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim,
Ho-tsi-a-nu mi-Mitz-ra-yim,
Da-ye-nu!

.. CHORUS:
.. Dai, da-ye-nu,
.. Dai, da-ye-nu,
.. Dai, da-ye-nu,
.. Da-ye-nu, da-ye-nu, da-ye-nu!

Ilu na-tan, na-tan la-nu,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-Sha-bat,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-Sha-bat,
Da-ye-nu!

.. (CHORUS)

Ilu na-tan, na-tan la-nu,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-To-rah,
Na-tan la-nu et-ha-To-rah,
Da-ye-nu!

.. (CHORUS)

Who knows One?

Who knows One?

! know one! One is Hashem(3 times) in the heavens and the earth.Da da da da da da da.

Who know two?

I know two! Two are the tablets that Moshe brought. One is Hashem...

Who knows three?

I know three! Three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows four?

I know four! Four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows five?

I know five! Five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the

mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brougfht and one is Hashem...

Who knows six?

I know six! Six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the

books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the

poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows Seven? -

I know seven! Seven are the days of the week (clap, clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows eight?

I know eight! Eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who know nine? -

I know nine! Nine are the months before a baby is born and eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows ten?

I know ten! Ten are THEEEEEE Commandments and nine are the months before a baby is born and eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who know eleven?

I know eleven! Eleven are the stars in Joseph's dream and ten are THEEEE Commandments and nine are the months before a baby is born and eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who know twelve?

| know twelve! Twelve are the Tribes of S-ra-el and eleven are the stars in Joseph's dream and ten are THEEE Commandments and nine are the months before a baby is born and eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Who knows thirteen?

I know thirteen! Thirteen are the Attributes of G-d and twelve are the Tribes of Is-ra-el and eleven are the stars of Joseph's dream and ten are THEEE Commandments and nine are the months before a baby is born and eight are the days before a bris and seven are the days of the week (clap clap) and six are the Books of the (clap) Mishnah and five are the Books of the (clap) Torah and four are the mommas and three are the poppas and two are the tablets that Moshe brought and one is Hashem...

Passover Song (tune of "These are a Few of my Favorite Things”)

Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes

Out with the harmetz, no pasta, no knishes

Fish that's gefillted, horseradish that stings

These are a few of our Passover things.

Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset

Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses

Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings

These are a few of our Passover things.

Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs

Famines and focusts and siaves with wheelbarrows

Matzah balls floating and eggshells that cling

These are a few of our Passover things.

When the plagues strike

When the lice bite

When we're feeling sad

We simply remember our Passover things

And then we don't feel so bad.

Take Us Out of Egypt (to the tune of “Take me out to the ball game")

Take us out of Egypt

Free us from slavery

Bake us some matzoh in a haste

Don't worry 'bout favor-- Give no thought to taste.

Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea

If we don't cross it's a shame.

For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out

At the ol' Pesach game.

There's No Seder Like our Seder (tune of "There's no Business like Show business")

There's no seder like our seder, There's no seder I know.

Everything about it is hałachic

Nothing that the Torah won't allow.

Listen how we read the whole Haggadah

It's all in Hebrew Cause we know how.

There's no Seder like our seder, We tell a tale that is swell

They baked the matzoh While on their feet

Now isn't that a story That just can't be beat?

Let's go on with the show!

Moses (to the tune of “The Flintstones”)

Moses, he’s our Moses.

He's the man that took us for a tour

Out of, Pharaoh's Egypt, went the children that he soon would lure

Come sit and eat matzah all week long.

Listen to our prayers and to our songs...

of Moses, he's our hero.

He's a really really dear guy, a forty year guy, the one that set us free.

The Ten Plagues (to the tune of the “Adam’s Family” theme)

(Chorus with finger snaps)

They’re creepy and they're yucky

They're altogether ucky

They're so completely mucky

We're talking ‘bout the Plagues.

The Nile turned to blood

Which was far worse than mud

Then frogs and lice and crud

The start of the Ten Plagues,

(Chorus with finger snaps)

Next beasts, and blight, and boils

On commoners and royals

Then hail and locusts spoiled The country.

It was wrecked.

Then Egypt drowned in darkness

The country was a big mess

All chaos, as you can guess

Pharaoh could not protect.

The last plague was the worst

The first-born sons were cursed

Their parent’s hearts were burst

And Pharaoh let us go.

(Chorus with finger snaps) Each year we tell the story

Although this part is gory

It still speaks of God’s glory

Remember the Ten Plagues.

Our cups are filled with wine

The joy with which we dine

Our joy is far less fine

When we remember the Ten Plagues

Leaving on a Desert Plane (to the tune of “Leaving on a Jet Plane”) by Randi and Murray Spiegel, Passover 2ooo

All our bags are packed, we’re ready to go

We're standing here outside our doors

We dare not wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin' this early morn' Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn

We're planning our escape so we won't die

Youli missus, as you will see

You've been dealt a harsh decree

You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving from this great strain

We pray we won't be back again

God knows, can’t wait to go.

There's so many times you’ve let us down

Your many crimes have plagued our town

I tell you now they were all mean things

Every pace we go, you’ll shrink from view

Every song we sing will be against you

We won’t be back to wear your ball and chain

You'll missus, as you will see

You've been dealt a harsh decree

You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving through a wet plain

We hope we won’t be back again

God knows, can’t wait to go.

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time, let us diss you

Close your eyes, we'll be on our way

Dream about the days to come

When you'll be left here all alone

About the time when we won’t have to say

You'll miss us, as you will see

You've been dealt a harsh decree

You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving all our bread grain

We know we won’t be back again

God knows, can’t wait to go.

We Can't Wait (tune of "Yellow Submarine")

In the religion where we were born

Comes a holiday where we are torn.

We remember how hard Jews worked For the Pharaoh who was a jerk.

We use symbols to tell the tale

Of how we came back from beyond the Pale.

It was Moses who led the way

Who gave the reason for this joyous day.

Every spring, this holiday comes

We sit with family, we sit with chums.

But we struggle to read the book,

Till we get to eat what has been cooked.

We can't wait till we eat the seder meal, eat the seder meal, eat the seder meal.

We can't wait till we eat the seder meal, eat the seder meal, eat the seder meal.

Let My People Go

When Israel was in Egypt land,

Let my people go.

Oppressed so hard they could not stand,

Let my people go.

Go down, Moses, way down to Egypt land.

Tell Old Pharaoh, to let my people go.

     “Thus saith the Lord,” old Moses said.

“Let my people go!”

“If not I’ll smite your first born dead.

Let my people go.”

Go down, Moses, way down to Egypt land.

Tell Old Pharaoh, to let my people go.

Les MisElijah

(to the tune of “Do you haer the people sing” from Les Miserables)

Do you hear the doorbell ring,

And it’s a little after ten?

It can only be Elijah

Come to take a sip again.

He is feeling pretty fine

But in his head a screw is loose.

So perhaps instead of wine

We should only give him juice.

That’s a Matzah!

(to the tune of “That’s Amore”)

When your bread doesn’t bake

And it’s not a mistake,

That’s a matzah!

When it breaks in your hand

Just like hard grains of sand

That’s a matzah!

We recline… and we talk about Moses.

We drink wine… and eat lots of charoses.

Sephardic Jews think it’s nice to

eat greens beans and rice

With their Matzah.

Ashkenazi Jews say we should stay far away

from those foods-ah.

Keeping track of the rules

Is so crazy that you

Could just PLOTZ-A!

But one food’s always right

On this Passover night,

That’s a matzah!

“No”

(to the tune of “No” by Meghan Trainor)

Pharaoh: I think it’s so cute and I think it’s so sweet

How you let your “god” encourage you to try and talk to me

But let me stop you there, Moe, before you speak

Chorus: Moshe: My God said

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: His sign is

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: Plagues number

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: You need to let us go

(You) need to let us go

Yud to the HEH said

Pharaoh: No, No, No!

Pharaoh: First you gonna say you ain’t runnin’

Game, thinkin’ I’ll believe in your Lord

Call me tyrannical, so terrible, telling me

This new God runs the world

Slaves were building homes before you

came along, now I’m thinking maybe you

won’t go

Blood, blood, blood, I be like what? Build

With mud, straw’s a no no no

Chorus: Pharaoh: All my salvies, listen up

If that Moe ain’t givin’ up

Bake your bricks, but bring your flax

Cause all I’ve got to say is…

Moshe: My God said

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: His sign is

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: Plagues number

Pharaoh: No

Moshe: You need to let us go

(You) need to let us go

Yud to the HEY said

Pharaoh: No, No, No!

Hey There Elijah

(to the tune of “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White T’s)

Hey there Elijah

What’s it like at all those Seders

You will drink a lot of wine tonight

But tonight you are permitted, yes you are

We can’t continue without you

Oh yes it’s true.

Hey there Elijah

We believe you’ll be here someday

And will bring the world together

Give us hope for what the future will provide

Hear our prayers and our cries

You’re by our side

Chorus: Oh, it’s what you mean to us (x4)

What you mean to us

Hey there Elijah

Share your vision of the world to be

Where God is one for everyone

And Seders ‘round the world are being done

Next year may we all celebrate,

In Jerusalem.

Hey there Elijah

With our friends and family gathered here

Just as they do year after year

Now we have only one task left to do

You know it’s all because of you

We open our door to welcome you

Hey there Elijah, here’s to you

This cup’s for you

Oh, it’s what you mean to us (x4)

What you mean to us