Passover is a holiday celebrating and commemorating the Israelites’ liberation from slavery and their exodus from Egypt, as told in the beginning of the Book of Exodus in the Hebrew Bible (and subsequently reinterpreted in several debatably good movies). Following the command that the story should always be taught to the next generation, Jews across time and space have celebrated this joyful holiday. As you might imagine, many aspects of the Passover celebration have withstood the millennia of observance, and many traditions have been added, taken away and changed over time. Now, the choice is yours.

This seder is generally designed to take about 45 minutes from start to dinner, and to be accessible to everyone. Make the experience your own by including additional readings or favorite family traditions. You can also create new traditions relevant for the guests with whom you will be sharing your seder.

You’ll notice the meal is right in the middle; if you just stop there, you’ll miss some of the best parts (including half the wine)! But be realistic—if you don’t think you and your guests will want to pick up the Haggadah again after the entrée, consider moving some of the second-half highlights to the pre-dinner slot.

Just as seders vary from household to household, so do leadership styles. Our recommendation is to encourage lots of participation; that way everyone is invested in the experience and there will be more lively conversation.

This Haggadah deliberately minimizes the role of the leader so every guest can participate at his or her comfort level. Take the time to make sure everyone at the seder introduces themselves and let them know they can participate as much or as little as they’d like.

As leader, though, you’re not completely off the hook! It’s your job to keep things moving forward and to help each person participate.

Running the Seder

Once everyone is seated at the table, it may be helpful to provide a bit of information about Passover and its traditions, as well as set some expectations before launching into the seder. Explain how long you predict the seder will run, when you anticipate dinner to be and if there will be food served before dinner. 

It may also be helpful to discuss how you intend to handle participation in the seder. If you plan to go around the table, letting everyone read a paragraph, let your guests know how that will work. There’s not a lot of Hebrew in this Haggadah, but it’s helpful to let your guests know there is some and they can choose to read it if they know Hebrew or just read the English.

Here’s a list of supplies you’ll need to host the seder (keep reading for more detailed descriptions):

On the table:

• Seder plate and symbolic food items
• Plate with three pieces of matzah covered by a cloth or napkin
• Wine or grape juice
• Kiddush cup (any wine glass will do)
• Elijah’s cup (any wine glass will do)
• Small bowls of salt water
• Plate with extra matzah
• Cloth or napkin for wrapping the  afikoman
• Prize for finding the  afikoman
• Optional items:
  • Hard-boiled eggs
  • Veggies or other light foods to munch on during the seder
  • Interactive props (you can make your seder more engaging with things like toys, for example, to represent the 10 plagues)

At each chair:

• Standard dinner place setting, with appetizer plate
• Wine glass
• Pillow for reclining

Hiding the  Afikoman

There are three pieces of matzah stacked on the table covered by a cloth or napkin. When indicated in the Haggadah, you will break the middle matzah into two pieces. The leader and/or host should wrap up the larger half and, at some point before the end of dinner, find a place to hide it. This piece is called the  afikoman , literally “dessert” in Greek. 

After dinner, the guests will have to hunt for the  afikoman  to wrap up the meal—and win a prize! Make sure to have a reward handy for the lucky winner; cash works but you can also be as creative as you want. Once the  afikoman  is found and redeemed, send it around the table so everyone can eat a small piece of it for dessert.

The Four Questions

The Four Questions are traditionally sung by the youngest participant at the seder. These questions are designed to help explain how the evenings of Passover are different from regular evenings. There’s a tune for these questions and often someone will know it. If you and/or your guests aren’t familiar with the Hebrew, just read them in English as you would the rest of the seder.  

Serving the Meal

No one should have to skip the seder because they’re stuck in the kitchen preparing the meal. Luckily, many great seder foods, from brisket to roast chicken to kugel to tzimmes, a traditional carrot dish, can be prepared ahead and left in a warm oven.

But you don’t need to wait to feed your guests until the meal portion of the Haggadah. The  Karpas – Deeping a green vegetable in salt water  section, which happens fairly early, was designed by rabbis as a way to work appetizers into the seder. After you’ve dipped your vegetables into salt water and said the corresponding blessing, consider bringing out a vegetable course, the gefilte fish or the boiled eggs. 

Setting the Table

First and foremost, Passover is a holiday, so don’t be shy about using a nice tablecloth and fancy china, or fun paper plates if that suits you best. One of the mainstays of celebrating Passover is not eating anything leavened, called  chametz  in Hebrew, for the duration of the holiday. This includes the most obvious: bread, cake, cookies and the like, as well as less obvious things, like corn products. As with anything in Judaism, there are many opinions and traditions about what is and is not acceptable to eat on Passover. You can be as strict or as lax as you’d like for your seder, but take the time to think about it when planning your dinner. Just as you would with any other meal you host, ask your guests if they have any dietary needs, and make sure they understand the Passover food rules you’ve decided on for this event. Some people keep their Passover meals extra safe from  chametz  by using specific plates only for Passover. So if you want to use paper goods instead of china, go ahead, whether in the name of being extra kosher for Passover or not wanting to wash a million dishes.

The Seder Plate

The seder plate holds most of the main symbols we talk about during the seder. There are many beautiful seder plates handed down through generations, and certainly many that are available for purchase with a wide variety of artistry and cost. A seder plate will usually have specific spaces, often named, for each item. Since there can be a bit of variation on what appears on a seder plate, some have five spaces, while others have six. Several things have been added in recent times to the seder plate (listed below) and are optional but certainly meaningful. Although there might not be a designated place for these items on the average seder plate, feel free to add them where they fit or just put them on the table.

Roasted egg ( Beitzah )

The roasted egg (yes, roasted!) symbolizes rebirth and springtime. Just as we grew into a free nation through our exodus from Egypt, the egg symbolizes growth and new life. Boil your egg first, then put it inside the oven (at about 350 degrees) and roast it until the shell starts to brown. (But if you use a simple boiled egg, no one is likely to know the difference.) Looking for a vegan substitute? Try plant seeds, an avocado pit or a large nut.

Bitter herb ( Maror )

Generally, this is horseradish, which embodies the bitterness of slavery. Traditionalists will tell you it must be the actual horseradish root. But many people use the chopped stuff from a jar, which can then do double-duty as a condiment for your gefilte fish. Note: A little horseradish goes on the seder plate, but everyone will eat a bit of bitter herb during the seder. You can either put it on individual plates or in a few little bowls on the table.

Chopped apples and nuts ( Charoset )

This is the fruit-based mixture that represents the mortar of bricks we laid as slaves in Egypt. It’s also sweet, like freedom. Just about every Jewish community in the world has its own take on  charoset , so if you’re feeling ambitious, Google different recipes and make a few! Note: Like the horseradish, just a little bit of  charoset  goes on the seder plate. Put most of it in bowls around the table so everyone can enjoy it during the seder. 

Shank bone ( Zeroah )

This is a symbol of the Passover lamb; our forefathers used its blood to mark their doorposts, and the angel of death passed over their homes in the Passover story. Often, you can ask your butcher for a piece of lamb shank bone. In the weeks leading up to Passover, kosher specialty stores will have shank bones available, but they can go fast. Before you put it on the plate, remember to roast it—you wouldn’t want raw animal parts on your table! (You can even throw it in the oven with the egg.) If you miss out or forget to purchase an actual lamb shank bone, you wouldn’t be the first to substitute a chicken leg bone. Want a vegetarian option? Steamed or roasted beets have a deep red color and serve as a popular alternative.

Lettuce ( Chazeret )

This is the one that sometimes gets left off, but the idea here is to use Romaine or a similarly bitter green, which takes on the symbolism of both the bitter herbs and the parsley, of slavery and renewal.

Optional modern additions

• Orange for LGBTQ and gender equality
• Artichoke heart for the inclusion of interfaith families
• Fair-trade chocolate or cocoa beans for economic freedom (most of the world’s chocolate production relies on underpaid or slave laborers, often children)
• Tomato for solidarity with those suffering from slavery, underpaid labor and oppressive working conditions in American agriculture
• Olive for peace in the Middle East
• Cashews for support of American troops
• Banana for standing with refugees
• Pinecone to call out for criminal justice reform

Other Items on the Table

Salt water

Since you need to dip the parsley in salt water, be sure to mix up little bowls of salt water and sprinkle them around the table.

Water for hand-washing

If you’re so inclined, you may want to have a pitcher and bowl on a side table for the ritual washing that takes place. If not, people can get up and wash at the sink. For a contemporary riff on the ritual, pass around moist towelettes or hand sanitizer.

Matzah

For the seder itself, you’ll need three pieces of matzah on a plate, covered by a cloth or napkin. Unlike the items on the seder plate, you will eat this matzah at specific points in the seder. It’s traditional to use only plain matzah here, although some people choose their favorite flavor. Since many people love to munch on matzah, you could have an additional plate of it on the table.

Elijah’s Cup

Toward the end of the seder, it’s traditional to open the door to welcome in the prophet Elijah. If he does, in fact, come through your door, it’s probably a good idea to have some wine waiting for him in an extra glass. Some families have special, fancy wine goblets specifically made to be “Elijah’s Cup,” but any wine glass on the table not assigned to a guest will do. Some leaders fill Elijah’s Cup at the start of the seder; others wait until the part of the seder that specifically mentions Elijah.

Miriam’s Cup

Even though Miriam, the sister of Moses, plays an essential role in the Passover story, the traditional Haggadah text minimizes her by heavily focusing on the male figures. In the modern era and in progressive Judaism, there is great emphasis on egalitarianism and recognizing both our forefathers and foremothers. To celebrate Miriam’s contributions in the Exodus story, many have added a second cup. Miriam’s Cup is filled with water to symbolize Miriam’s well, which often provided much-needed water for the Israelites wandering in the desert after their exodus from Egypt. 

Happy hosting!

Tonight, we gather together to celebrate Passover. Passover is a holiday commemorating the Israelites’ liberation from slavery and their exodus from Egypt, as told in the beginning of the Book of Exodus in the Hebrew Bible. Following the command that the story should always be taught to the next generation, Jews across time and space have celebrated this joyful holiday. As you might imagine, there are many aspects of the Passover celebration that have withstood the millennia of observance, and many traditions have been added, taken away and changed over time.

Tonight, we will eat a great meal together, enjoy four glasses (at least!) of wine, and tell the story of our ancestors’ liberation from slavery. We welcome all our guests to reflect with us on the meaning of freedom in each of our lives, traditions and histories. We will have the opportunity to consider our blessings, pledge to work harder at freeing those who still suffer, and try to cast off the things in our own lives that feel oppressive.

As we get started, get comfortable! Find a pillow to help you recline. In ancient times, eating while lounging on a pillow or couch was a sign of freedom. We anticipate this seder should take about 45 minutes from start to dinner. Enjoy!

During this seder, and in the days ahead, let us not forget those currently facing war and violence in Ukraine.  Let us open our hearts and minds and continue to support their quest for freedom. 

When earlier we recalled the story of the Exodus, we acknowledged it as a work of fiction. Yet only one hundred years ago, most scholars still believed that the tale was true in many of its details. 

Then they started digging … literally … with shovels and pails. It eventually became clear that the story we had told ourselves for millennia did not take place. There had been no mass flight from Egypt, no conquest of the land of Israel, otherwise known as Canaan. The Israelites were natives of the land; they were Canaanites themselves!

So how did the story come to be?

In the late second millennium B.C.E., Egypt dominated Canaan. The pharaohs demanded regular tribute from vassal kings who in turn exploited their own peasant populations.

According to some scholars, in the thirteenth century B.C.E. the region experienced significant upheavals and power shifts. Taking advantage of these changes, many peasants rebelled, throwing off the yoke of their vassal kings. Archeological remains reveal that some fled to and cleared Israel’s central highlands, where tribes and towns began to form. In a long, complicated and gradual process they became known as the Israelites. Did this contribute to inspiring our story?

If so, the Exodus tale may have served as an allegory about liberation from Egypt’s ongoing domination and exploitation of Canaan’s populace. The narrative may also reflect other ancient regional instabilities. Famines and droughts provoked repeated migrations. The Torah’s stories about Abraham and Sara’s journey to Canaan and their grandchildren’s descent to Egypt may disclose memories of these population shifts.

Other historians suggest an alternative possibility. They propose that the Exodus story was influenced by the experience of one tribe, the Levites, that may have come to Israel from Egypt. Many Levite names, including Moses and Aaron, are Egyptian in origin. The Levites were cultic experts and possessed no territory. Were they the outsiders who circulated the original Exodus tale?

The details are buried in history, but history gives wings to legends and legends yield heroes like Moses. Over hundreds of years, our story emerged with its account of one great man, dedicated to justice and to the liberation of his people. He challenged Pharaoh and led the Israelites to freedom. For millennia he has inspired many others who have been downtrodden or enslaved to bring about their own deliverance. And that’s why we told it tonight!

For more on these ideas, see S. David Sperling, The Original Torah: The Political Intent of the Bible’s Writers (New York: New York University Press, 1998); and Richard Elliott Friedman, The Exodus [New York: HarperOne, 2017].

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Rabbi Jeffrey L. Falick, Birmingham Temple Congregation for Humanistic Judaism

The traditional Ha Lachma Anya is found at the beginning of the Maggid, or “storytelling,” section of the Haggadah. This ritual connects both our Exodus story and the Jewish immigrant narrative to the reality of aspiring Americans today.

This is the Bread of Affliction - Ha Lachma Anya

Reader: In America, over 11 million undocumented immigrants live in our midst.We identify with their struggles from our memory as Jews freed from Egyptian servitude, and as Americans living in a country built by immigrants.As we look upon the broken middle matzah before us, this is our story - an immigrant story -- in three parts:Memory, Action, Vision.

Memory

[Leader uncovers and raises the matzah.]

All read: Ha lachma anya – This is the bread of poverty and affliction that our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt.

Reader: We remember our ancestors’ fear and bravery in facing the new unknown, filled with dangers and opportunities. Poet Marge Piercy recalls our people’s past emigrations:

…The courage to walk out of the pain that is known into the pain that cannot be imagined, mapless, walking into the wilderness, going barefoot with a canteen into the desert; stuffed in the stinking hold of a rotting ship sailing off the map into dragons' mouths. Cathay, India, Serbia, goldeneh medina, leaving bodies by the way like abandoned treasure. So they walked out of Egypt. So they bribed their way out of Russia under loads of straw; so they steamed out of the bloody smoking charnelhouse of Europe on overloaded freighters forbidden all ports-- out of pain into death or freedom or a differentpainful dignity, into squalor and politics…  

“Maggid,” The Art of Blessing the Day: Poems with a Jewish Theme. Knopf: September 2000, p. 166-167.

Action

All read:Let all who are hungry come and eat. Let all who are in need, come and share this Pesach meal.

Reader:The Seder demands action! American Jewish poet Emma Lazarus’s words reflected real action when they were engraved on the Statue of Liberty one hundred years ago:

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. "Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door

Vision

All read: This year we are still here – next year in the Land of Israel. This year we are still slaves – next year free people.

Reader: This year undocumented immigrants still live in fear in the shadows of a broken immigration system. Next year may over 11 million aspiring Americans step into the light of freedom and walk the path towards citizenship.

This year, our eyes are still clouded by the plague of darkness, as the Gerer Rav taught: “The darkness in Egypt was so dense that people could not see one another. This was not a physical darkness, but a spiritual darkness in which people were unable to see the plight and pain of their neighbors.” Next year, may we replace darkness with light and truly see our neighbors and be moved to act with them to fix our broken immigration system.

Discussion: Today, the Reform Jewish Movement is working to help create a common-sense American immigration process. How do your family stories connect to this historic moment?

Think about your family history: What brought your family to this country? What did your family leave behind, and what opportunity did they seek? Does this help you understand today’s immigrants? Why or why not?

Top 10 similarities between the COVID quarantine and a Passover Seder:

10. Having to remind yourself how today is different.

9. Drinking 4 glasses of wine with dinner.

8. Constant hand washing.

7. Searching for hidden food.

6. Having imaginary guests.

5. Planning hypothetical trips for next year.

4. Reminiscing about being free.

3. Telling the same story, over and over again.

2. Eating while leaning on a pillow.

1. Avoiding a plague

1. What do you consider your “promised land,” or heaven on earth?

2. In Hebrew, the word for Egypt is “Mitzraim,” which literally means “narrow place.” What is one way that you wish for our society to be more open?

3. Moses is considered one of the greatest leaders in our history — he is described as being smart, courageous, selfless and kind. Which of today’s leaders inspires you in a similar way?

4. Miriam was a prophetess and the sister of Moses who, after crossing the Red Sea, led the women in song and dance with tambourines. She is described as being courageous, confident, insightful and nurturing. Which musician or artist today inspires you in a similar way?

5. More recent and ongoing struggles for freedom include civil rights, GLBTQ equality, and women’s rights. Who is someone involved in this work that you admire?

6. Is there someone — or multiple people — in your family’s history who made their own journey to freedom?

7. Freedom is a central theme of Passover. When in your life have you felt most free?

8. If you could write an 11th commandment, what would it be?

9. What’s the longest journey you have ever taken?

10. How many non-food uses for matzah can you think of? Discuss!

11. Let’s say you are an Israelite packing for 40 years in the desert. What three modern items would you want to bring?

12. The Haggadah says that in every generation of Jewish history enemies have tried to eliminate us. What are the biggest threats you see to Judaism today?

13. The Passover seder format encourages us to ask as many questions as we can. What questions has Judaism encouraged you to ask?

14. Israel is central to the Passover seder. Do you think modern Israel is central to Jewish life? Why or why not?

15. The manna in the desert had a taste that matched the desire of each individual who ate it. For you, what would that taste be? Why?

16. Let’s say you had to swim across the Red Sea, and it could be made of anything except water. What would you want it to be?

17. If the prophet Elijah walked through the door and sat down at your table, what’s the first thing you would ask him?

18. Afikoman means “dessert” in Greek. If you could only eat one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be?

19. What is something you wish to cleanse yourself of this year? A bad habit? An obsession or addiction?

20. The word “seder” means “order.” How do you maintain order in your life?

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Download the PDF here: https://www.jewishboston.com/20-table-topics-for-your-passover-seder/

Passover is a holiday that asks us to pause our usual routines and be mindful of our surroundings. Even before the holiday begins, we are instructed to clean our houses of any hametz—leavened food—that might be lurking in corners and under cupboards. Instead of rushing through our lives and our living spaces, we go through them slowly and carefully.

At our Passover seders, we spend hours telling the story of when we were slaves in Egypt and how we came to be free. Instead of going through our days thinking about our next task, meeting or errand, Passover is a time when we dig deep into the past and focus on the plight of our ancestors. And then finally for eight days, we alter our usual meals and eating routines and take notice of what we put into our bodies. We pay attention to what we cook, where we eat and the food we share with others.

In this holiday of reflecting and noticing, we also find ourselves asking questions. The four traditional questions asked during the seder offer a launch pad for us to stop and consider questions we do not often allow ourselves the time to contemplate. This Passover, we encourage you to think about four more questions that reflect the issues we are grappling with today.

Gun violence

When we are about to ask the Four Questions, we usually turn to the youngest at our table. As a country, we are turning now to our youth, who are leading the call for gun law reform and holding our elected officials accountable.

How can we, as individuals and as communities, support the leadership of our young adults who are calling for changes to our state and federal gun laws? How can we offer them the wisdom of our years while still allowing the space for their own creativity and ingenuity?

Immigration

In the Passover story, the Hebrews are not originally from Egypt, but over many generations have built their lives there and put down roots. We see Pharaoh become threatened by their numbers, and in response to his fear he issues a decree for all first-born male babies to be drowned in the Nile.

Today, immigrant communities who have been in the United States for generations and have contributed greatly to our country are facing threats of deportation, violence and persecution. This fear of the “other,” both in Pharaoh’s time and in ours, is turned into laws and systems that work to keep people out or remove them from their homes and families.

Where have you encountered laws or systems that are designed to keep out immigrant communities, either today or in your family’s history? How can we help people overcome their fears of the “other” today?

Economic justice

When Moses first comes to the Hebrews after meeting God in the burning bush, the Hebrews do not believe he has come to bring their liberation. They feel forgotten by God because they have been sending up their cries and prayers for years while enduring the backbreaking labor and unbearable conditions under Pharaoh.

For years, workers and their allies have had to fight for a livable wage and the right to form unions, as well as equal pay and rights on the job. Low-wage workers have been left without enough income for food, rent and basic needs, while increasing amounts of wealth have flowed to those in higher income brackets.

Who has been forgotten by our economic system? How can we amplify workers’ calls for higher wages and economic justice so that our collective cries cannot be ignored?

Criminal justice

Right before Moses flees Egypt into the desert, he kills one of the Egyptian guards and stands horrified at his actions. In an attempt to stop him from leaving, he is reassured that as the son of Pharaoh, he will not receive any punishment or consequences for his actions. The laws of the time were such that he would not be seen as a criminal because of his identity.

Today, we know that to be born a person of color, poor, transgender or many other marginalized identities means that you encounter a higher likelihood of being suspected of committing a crime. We also know that people of color are disproportionately represented in the criminal justice system.

How does our current legal system decide who should be judged as a criminal? Who benefits from such a system?

Written by Jewish Alliance for Law and Social Action for JewishBoston, March 2018.

These “Four Questions of Mental Health” are from JF&CS Chaverim Shel Shalom Haggadah. Chaverim Shel Shalom is a social group for Jewish adults living with psychiatric conditions.

What is oppressing us? Is it self-imposed, such as a lack of achievement, or externally imposed, such as parents or political current events that are out of our control, or both of these things together?

How can this seder help us and heal us?

How can we take care of ourselves and maintain a positive cycle?

If we were really serious about our healing, why don’t we tell the story of our deliverance every night, not just on Passover?

On this seder night, we recognize that, as Jews with psychiatric conditions, we have a great deal to teach our community. Because we know about the unpredictability and pain of having a chronic illness, we are compassionate toward others. Because we know what it is to be labeled as “different” and “defective” by those who don’t even know us as human beings, we are the contemporary embodiment of all Jewish history. Because we have experienced oppression and persecution firsthand, we each feel that we, personally, are struggling to leave Egypt behind us every day. In this way, we are mindful of that way we pray each morning, “Moses said to the people: remember this day, in which you came out of Egypt, out of a house of slavery; for by a strong hand Adonai brought you out of this place; no leavened bread shall be eaten.”

Because we have learned from each other and from sensitive caregivers about how to care for ourselves, we respond to the needs of others who are less fortunate than we are who don’t know how to articulate their suffering.

Thousands of years ago, our ancestors were enslaved by the Egyptians. Today some of us find ourselves enslaved by the chains that bind our minds and our emotions. As we sit around the seder table with family and friends, sharing the story of our ancestors, we can be healed to some extent through our communal spirituality.

Written by Jewish Family & Children’s Service for JewishBoston, March 2018.

Over the years, the Passover story has evolved from a story just about Moses and Aaron to include their female counterparts. We set aside a cup of water for Miriam, celebrate Shifrah and Puah for their act of bravery and comment on Pharaoh’s daughter’s defiant move. As we commemorate the leadership of matriarchs in the Exodus story, the questions about our contemporary relationship to women’s rights and liberation come to the fore. These questions contemplate how our future can be more equitable and just for all women. 

What is a feminist?

We’ve heard the word before. Feminist. But the meaning of the word seems…controversial. Is a feminist someone who hates men? To be a feminist, do you have to burn your bra and not shave your armpits? Is Lena Dunham really a feminist?

Simply put, being a feminist means you believe in the social, political and economic equality of women. So why is it such a dirty word? What makes this such a “hot topic”?

Ask around the table: What does it mean to you to be a feminist? Do you identify as a feminist? Why or why not?

Why is it essential that feminism be intersectional?

The term “intersectional,” coined by scholar and activist Kimberlé Crenshaw, is the idea that multiple identities intersect to create a whole; in order to fully understand someone’s identity, we must think of each separate identity as linked to all the others. As an example, a white Jewish woman is all three parts of her identity; she cannot simply separate her race, religion and gender when these identities intersect and interplay with one another constantly.

So why is this important in relation to feminism? Because if our concept of equality doesn’t include the liberation of women of color, queer women, disabled women, then what are we fighting for? If we don’t name these identities explicitly in our struggle, we leave out the essential experience and strength they bring.

Do you think your feminism is intersectional? Do you think it’s important that feminism be intersectional? Have you thought about intersectional feminism before?

How can we better include trans women in our fight for gender equality?

Speaking of intersectionality, as trans issues have come into the media spotlight over the past few years, it’s essential we think about how we can improve our inclusion of trans women in feminism. When we consider the wage gap, are we talking about anyone besides white cisgender (i.e. non-transgender) women? When we fight for health care, are we accounting for the needs of trans women within that system? When we talk about reproductive justice, do we conflate being a woman with having a uterus? Do our women’s events have space for trans women to feel comfortable using the restroom? Jewish women’s spaces often center on bat mitzvah or Rosh Chodesh; can we expand these rituals and events to meaningfully include trans women?

How do you think we can better include trans women in our fight for gender justice? And beyond the fight for women’s rights, how is your Jewish community inclusive of the trans community?

What are some concrete ways we can fight for gender equality?

It’s easy to be theoretical when we talk about the struggle for justice. While it’s great to use our brains and hearts sometimes, we must use our hands as well. Not every act of rebellion needs to be a huge march or protest. Not everyone can call or march, not everyone can strike or boycott, not everyone is safe enough to speak up; however, everyone can take some action.

Go around the table and share one way you will fight against the patriarchy this year. Make a public commitment to those at your seder table and tell everyone about how you can make a difference.

With gratitude and love to Gracie Bulleit, Annie Kee, Andrea Krakovsky, Jordyn Rozensky and Joanna Ware for their input and help.

Written by Emilia Diamant for JewishBoston, March 2017.

Why is LGBTQ liberation a part of our Passover story, tonight?

Every year on Passover, we explore the meaning of mitzrayim, meaning “narrow place,” and are asked to consider in what ways we may find ourselves in mitzrayim in our own lives, and in the world today. Though LGBTQ rights have made significant progress in the U.S. and around the world in the last decade, LGBTQ people still experience oppression and marginalization, homophobia and transphobia still plague our world, and LGBTQ people are in many ways still living in mitzrayim. So tonight, as we consider how our liberation story is tied to ongoing struggles for justice and freedom, we ask four questions about LGBTQ liberation.

What does LGBTQ mean, and why do the letters seem to keep changing?

LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer or Questioning, and the acronym is often used as a shorthand to describe diverse people who fall under an umbrella of marginalized sexualities and gender identities. Language in the LGBTQ community is dynamic and evolving. As people whose lives have, for centuries, been left out of the narratives of history and defined in other people’s terms, LGBTQ people know that words have power. LGBTQ communities developed coded language to find one another, and now have both the challenge and opportunity of describing ourselves and our lives in our own words. The terms—and the abbreviation—change as the community collectively strives to better describe all within it, in all their vibrant diversity, and as those who have gone unacknowledged demand a name come into being.

Question for the table: What words do you use to describe yourself? How have these words shaped your sense of self and your ability to be recognized for who you truly are?

Why is LGBTQ justice and liberation a Jewish issue?

Judaism teaches us that all people are imbued with holiness, created b’tzelem Elohim—in the image of God—and that we have an obligation, as Jews, to uphold human dignity (kavod habriyot). We are taught in the Babylonian Talmud: “So great is human dignity that it supersedes a negative commandment in the Torah” (Brakhot 19b). In the world today, LGBTQ people face barriers and attacks on their lives, safety and dignity. When 90 percent of LGBTQ children report bullying and harassment in their schools, when LGBTQ people can be fired from their jobs for being who they are, when transgender people are four times more likely to live in extreme poverty, and when over 40 percent of transgender people attempt suicide, we have an obligation to act to ensure the safety and dignity of LGBTQ people. This oppression facing LGBTQ people is one version of a contemporary mitzrayim—narrow place—from which we seek to emerge into liberation during Passover.

Question for the table: How do your Jewish values compel you to take action for LGBTQ liberation?

What does it mean to be an ally?

Being an ally means taking action, in words and deeds, on behalf of another group of people who are facing oppression. According to one midrash (ancient Torah commentary), the midwives who disobeyed Pharaoh’s orders to kill the Israelite babies, Shifra and Puah, were actually Egyptian, and were acting as allies. They took a risk and put themselves on the line to help protect the Israelites, who were being oppressed by Pharaoh. Eventually Shifra and Puah, according to this midrash, converted and joined the Israelites. Being an ally to LGBTQ people means speaking out and standing up in support of the rights, dignity, safety and well-being of LGBTQ people, even if those issues don’t impact you directly.

Question for the table: Do you have examples from your own life of a time you have stood up for someone else as an ally, or when someone else has stood up for you? How have these shaped your thinking about being an ally to others?

How can we support LGBTQ people in our Jewish community?

There are so many places to start! Here are just a few ideas:

Encourage your community to recognize and observe LGBTQ holidays as part of the Jewish year. Plan a Pride Shabbat, say a blessing for coming out on National Coming Out Day, and mark Transgender Day of Remembrance by reading the names of transgender people lost to transphobic violence and saying the Mourner’s Kaddish (the prayer traditionally recited in memory of the dead).

Designate all-gender bathrooms in your community, and ensure that gendered bathrooms are accessible to people who identify with the designated gender. Bathroom access is a critical issue for transgender people, who face harassment, violence and gender policing in public bathrooms. Making sure that everyone in your community can use the restroom in comfort is an important baseline for creating a trans-inclusive community.

Explore and create Jewish ritual to mark LGBTQ lifecycle events. Beautiful rituals have been created to commemorate coming out, gender transition, name changes, gender neutral coming-of age (simchat mitzvah), and other lifecycle moments. Encourage your clergy to familiarize themselves with these rituals, and make sure they make it publicly known that these rituals are available.

Say it out loud! LGBTQ people cannot assume that Jewish spaces will be welcoming to them, so many people look for subtle markers of inclusivity. An explicit statement of inclusion on your website, an LGBTQ Safe Zone sticker (available for purchase and download from Keshet), and images of LGBTQ people and families on your brochures and websites can help communicate that LGBTQ people belong.

Question for the table: How else can you support LGBTQ people in your communities and around the world?

Written by Joanna Ware for JewishBoston, March 2017.